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Personal but not private

@somewhere.personal

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⭐ Made by @dionmbd

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As a kid, my wish was to grow up, get married, have kids, and die in my hometown. I loved it that much. I still do.

Circumstances pushed and allowed me to move other places around the globe for 11 years.

So I moved back home, ready to give back.

The past 6 years, I poured my heart into @ilustra.see hoping I could contribute something to my birthplace.
I convinced myself, I needed to be here.

But,

I neglected the fact that my asthma got much worse and I contracted mildly-severe bronchitis due to the pollution.
I refused to believe that I got a chronic nerve impingement because maintaining an active lifestyle took so much more effort here.
I rejected when advised to be careful in building relationships only to be heart-broken when I found out the people I trusted talked behind my back (a lot).

This past year was the breaking point.

My neighborhood became a miniature of Indonesia.
The place was lush, well cared for, relatively clean.
Then, someone with too much money for their own good starts buying some of the houses.
They begin burning trash on the street.
They chopped off the trees.
They brought their motorbike gang friends to vandalize the walls.
Their many kids don’t go to school but would ding-dong ditch, throw firecrackers, or trash your lawn.
When confronted, they would look down, avoid, or resort to “I’ve been here first”
The authorities? They wouldn’t care. “We are all family. Let’s tolerate each other.”
So that’s what the rest of us do, what minorities like me do. We tolerate.

I resent this place.
But it doesn’t mean I don’t care.

In January, I will continue my study. I am fortunate to receive the Australia Awards Scholarship, a scholarship from the Australian government to help foreign individuals build their home countries.

This time, I will take off my rose-colored glasses.
I will contribute to my country, in ways I never tried before.
And maybe, the first step to do that is to be honest and accept that things here won’t be as I wished it would and that I am deeply unhappy with it. by @somewhere.personal

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10 months ago

When the external noise falls away, what’s left at the bottom of your heart?🧎🏻‍➡️🪞

____

In 2024, I moved to Australia because I wasn’t sure who I was. I thought distance would give me answers. Instead, I found myself only after moving back to my home country in 2025.

🕳️
Coming back to Indonesia reminded me that growing up in a small town, I was raised as a reflection of my parents rather than as an individual with my own needs.

A couple of months after returning, I started @bahasakeduaku and other video projects. It was supported until it needed to fit expectations that were no longer mine.

That’s when I knew staying would have costed me more, so I let go.

🪾🌫️
I chose to set healthier boundaries with my parents and step away from social media, to listen inward and reconnect with what grounds me. It became the bravest and most freeing thing I’ve ever done.

6 months passed. While most things fell quiet, what I truly loved stayed. Making thoughtful videos, telling stories, and learning language to connect people are what I’m carrying into 2026.

🌱🪨
Just as I began to feel rooted again, life asked me to move.

Next week, I’m moving back to Australia again to support my husband’s study. I’ll be sharing the process as I learn, especially for those curious about the AAS journey.

Thank you 2025, I’m taking what stayed with me into 2026

🌳

PS: to my husband, @dionmbd , thank you for turning my writing into beautiful illustrations. This is a Christmas gift I’ll always remember. by @somewhere.personal

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10 months ago

Being a people pleaser trying to break emotional fusion tendencies means a constant fight between self acceptance and denying.

Your old part wants to fit in while the real you needs space to grow.

It is a cycle of grieving and acceptance with genuine individuality as a reward. by @somewhere.personal

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10 months ago

Spiritual transformation is a multi-direction process. When one person needs a way down, another finds a way up. When one enters darkness, another finally finds light.

Hang in there. by @somewhere.personal

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a year ago

Today @slice.of.f said “I want to set KPIs for me for the house chores.” Which got me thinking, I too need a new set of KPIs.

We’ve been running a small business together since we got married. I’ve set KPIs to define my team’s success, but in life, success looks a bit more different now.

At 30, I am now good enough at working. I am good enough at pushing myself. I am good enough at trying harder. I am good enough at everything the world defines as good enough.

But, all the things I used to do to become a “productive” human being are now the very reasons I am operating very close to burning out most of the time.

The new KPIs I gave myself is scary. They seem like the opposite of safety and stability. They feel good but still awkward like a new pair of shoes. by @somewhere.personal

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a year ago

Illustrations from @dionmbd's graphic novel @somewhere.personal.

See more work by Dion and hire him for freelance projects on #Behance — link in bio! taken in Brisbane by @somewhere.personal

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2 years ago

🌑🌒🌓🌔🌕 by @somewhere.personal

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2 years ago

“The feeling of having enough isn’t connected to how much money you have but it is to your emotional states.” - My Wife 📯 by @somewhere.personal

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2 years ago

Thank you for being here!

I did not expect so many of you to relate to these comics.

As my token if gratitude, I will make one of you a comic based on your own story and own character.

If time allows, I may choose more than 1 winner.

The giveaway submission is going to close on the 5th of March, 23:59 EST (GMT-5)

Looking forward to reading your stories but please only join if you feel comfortable sharing it on public. by @somewhere.personal

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2 years ago

The part of me that I’ve tried to suppress and change turned out to be the part that needs the most loving.

The part of me that I consider forbidden, is actually the part that is the most full of wisdom when I listen and understand it compassionately.

🩸🌑 by @somewhere.personal

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2 years ago

We curse ourselves by playing our suffering on repeat 🔁 by @somewhere.personal

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2 years ago

Have you ever heard of the Vacillator - Pleaser core pattern?

The vacillator partner is used to resorting to anger to feel in control and sees fight and intimacy. On the other hand, the pleaser partner hangs their self worth on other’s happiness and avoids conflicts at all cost.

The angrier the vacillator, the more self blaming the pleaser will be. The more timid the pleaser, the more lost and abandoned and hence angry the vacillator will be.

My wife and I struggled with this pattern in the beginning. We loved each other so much but fought constantly due to our core patterns. It took a lot of work to break out of this cycle.

I am not qualified to talk more about this but go search “how we love core pattern”. It might be useful for you. 🌖 by @somewhere.personal

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2 years ago