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M A M i 🪷

@soulfullynomadic_

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Cherish the moments .
( and read my posts 🤍 )

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A glance over my shoulder,
a look back at a moment in time..
A place that once held me
Helped grow me
Awakened my being
One that encouraged my gift of rhyme
A summer of flowers and frolicking
Traversing the waterfalls and stream-lined trails
Barefoot and free
With the mosquitos at my sticky skin
A season of serving fine tea, scones and sweets in the garden
Dressed in long skirts and my grandmothers pearls
Greeting the smiling faces of the tourists that bustled in
..one of simple dinners at the long table
Cooked with love
over conversation with other women who were traveling farmers too
Laced with full glasses of red wine
And silly answers to the weekly crossword in the Times
And laughter that filled the eyes of dear Rachel’s, wise and blue
Endless nights under skies gleaming with the brightest stars
And slow mornings that offered blushy vistas of fog laden peaks
Silent runs through the lush green conifer forest
joined by tiny, fluffy purple insects
The whimsy of this land, to my heart speaks
East Hardwick stole my heart that summer
An expected love story that grew my vision and opened my mind
For a place that I would’ve never even thought to want to visit
It’s become a second home, a dreamy destination
to escape to and unwind
The land at Summersweet holds such magic
From the Secret Garden to the fields
Built on the back of a woman who gave it all to keep it going
There’s a certain energy you feel as you walk barefoot through the rows of blooming blossoms
A feeling of understanding, divine femininity and comfort that sitting with them yields
It’s an honor and pleasure
to be able to stand where I do now and reminisce
To a time where I was knee deep in my neurological disorder
Trying to push through the feeling that things were amiss
Because they weren’t-
In hindsight they were just how they needed to be
Staying in the upper bedroom at the brick house
Offered solitude to instill peaceful practices and wisdom of old readings
that still resonate deep within me
I’m eternally grateful
for the experiences shared with the others that were a part of the farm that summer of ‘24
I hold this space close to my heart
and to this magic, I’ll always return for more 🌿✨ taken in Summersweet Gardens Nursery at Perennial Pleasures by @soulfullynomadic_

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2 months ago

Life is a compilation of moments: experiences, feelings, lessons, traumas, teachings. It is a complex wonder beyond our comprehension that we are gifted.. why? To grow through? To enjoy? To simply be?

As I lay here, under the dense pale blue moonlight, I am offered the opportunity to take in the greatness of it all. Life as I know it is so expansive- it is who I am, who all else view me as, who I offer myself to others as, how I offer myself to the land.. it is vast and beyond myself as well, a diverse collection of timelines existing individually yet as a collective. Each tree, water droplet, bird, frog, deer, panda, osprey, seasonal wildflower and human being.. do you understand the greatness of it all? How much breath is being breathed every minute? How many heartbeats there are in a singular second? How much love there is being felt out there?

For me, now, the focus is love. Not so much the generic ‘head over heels’ romantic ideology of the word.. but the richness of its existence: That warm, flooding feeling of safe and secure peacefulness and joy. The willingness to sacrifice for the benefit of others. It involves care, protectiveness and affection.. Deep devotion. Nurturing, connecting.. Love is what brings us all together against all difference.

Love is not a place we all know, and it is not a feeling we’ve all yet felt. So many of us are brought into this world rooted in brokenness, shame and disconnection- in actuality our stories often originate from a lack of love. So many of us are raised up given the idea of love from others who were never loved.. but bits and pieces of pure love do manifest through the efforts made and small joys experienced. It is those which we hold on to when learning to define our own comprehension of love as we grow.

I am blessed enough this lifetime to know love deeply, intimately, sacred and truly. I have traversed the fields of its many false forms- from codependency to abuse to manipulation. The breaking point in my understanding of love occurred when all love felt it was gone and I had to reach somewhere deep within myself to find it- To be it.

We are love. The very essence of it.. (continued below in comments) taken in In Love by @soulfullynomadic_

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5 months ago

Gentle kisses
land like snowflakes on my blushing cheeks
melting into me
as I melt into you
You hold me like you would your first born child
Preciously
Cradling me, my head nestled safely
on your firm but soft-skinned pec
I look up to see your smiling face
You softly stroke my fallen hair from my own
And I crumble..
to pieces..
A wreck
is what you make of me
A pile of bones with no muscle or will
With each tender brush of your affection
I lose all recollection of the impenetrable woman I was
..that I am no longer still.
Here there’s no need for independence
with your fingertips tracing the intricate lining of my soft inner palms
I haven’t a single fight to give
while in your safe space I live
I succumb to the masculinity embodied deeply to your core
..so much so that I fold like my freshly laundered linens
and allow my prior apprehensions to join my guard on the disappearing floor.
I want more..
..more of the laughter filled conversations that go on in whatever free time we manage to find
..more of the positive affirmations you speak to me as you undress me that ease my racing mind
..more of the slow spoken explanations as you walk me through the hiccups we face-
I admire how you tend to my traumas manifested as eccentric drama at such a nurturing and steady pace
With you I feel safe.
You remind me there’s no need to rush
.. that we have the time to breathe and take things slow
.. to relish in this stage of our newly found ‘crush’ ..
so I do.
And in doing so I’m finding that you are my dreams and prayers come true;
Friendship. Chivalry. Desire. Divinity. Depth and devotion all exist within you.
You entice me
You spice me up and rub me down
Both tickle my fancy and tickle me pink.
I’m all for you
So I freely, lovingly pour you my time and energy
that I’ve been saving longingly
for someone deserving to drink
and sip, you do
Taking all of me in
Licking up every remnant that graces your luscious lips
If one thing is true
it’s that I acknowledge ALL of YOU
and give thanks for the gift of coming to grips
with my truths + my present being.
Thank you for your care that is so balanced + all seeing.
I adore you for gifting me a love that’s so freeing ✨

Dedicated x by @soulfullynomadic_

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5 months ago

the year of nine 🌀

what relief i found in surrender.
what peace i found in truth.
..self respect laid hidden behind assertion.
and regression behind coercion.
the flowers, they hold the key to my connection and heart,
and food, the one to my demise.
a moment of silence for that and those that i’ve shed this cycle..
for against all odds-

STILL I RISE ❤️‍🔥

i returned to the garden,
captivating and lush
fell in love with the mountains of green.
reclaimed my health through therapy
..through both getting lost in the wild
and regimented routine.
freed of fear and anxiety
found a state of being
that’s floetic;
intentional and 🎶 so so so serene.

now i’ve arrived at a new ‘year’
numerological ONE.
and it truly feels like my life has just begun.
it’s not by chance that I’ve made it here clean-
free of addictions,
excuses/ restrictions,
apprehensions are now few to none.
life tends to cleanse you off all that is holding you back
when you put your faith in what’s yet to come.

control and the concept of it are both things of the past
as are holding on to hope for that which has proven to fail me
forgiveness was huge, for both others and self
and the choices and actions that previously derailed me

i fell in love over and over in 2025
unfortunately (or maybe fortunately)
not yet with a man 🙄🤭
but with the land,
with the the present,
with my life!
such abundance and opportunity was offered to me
and through dedicated practice I’ve been granted eyes to see
the little things that can grow to the biggest of blessings
the temptations to avoid before they become stressful lessons
..to see the beauty in the simplest of things

I have health.
and such wealth.
I have that which is Greater in my heart.
I’ve found my way-
I have peace and for that my heart sings.
I’ve arrived gracefully in 2026
and am excited to see what it brings ✨

1•1•1
🫶🏽 taken in My Happy Place by @soulfullynomadic_

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10 months ago

Terra cotta skin
Barefoot, salty hair blowing in the gusts
of dawn’s choppy sea breeze
Cool boulders at my knees
As I climb to take in the view
My senses are overtaken by sweet morning dew
While waves crash, the sun rises, candelabra cacti thrust
Dancing with the movement of the island as it awakens
Sitting still, but still I sway
Eyes closed, heart open
Overtaken
by the way
of natural order
All that is
in it’s true, raw form
The layers of details-
Dark pockets of shadows, blinding beams of illumination
Goosebumps on my skin that’s somehow both chilled and warm
Acknowledgment swarms
my awareness
The glow of the cactus needles reflecting the rays of the morning sun
The gradient colors dancing from the sky to the sea
It’s almost as if the two become one
All prior thoughts evade me
As I succumb to the elements that made me:
a sweet being of the land, of ether, of wind, of the heat
It is here I belong
My undressed body rocking gently to the song
of island dawn
Rhythmically connected to the universal heartbeat
Time has no place here-
Seconds, minutes, hours.. whatever the name
Sitting in meditation they all pass the same
All that changes is the direction of the fire in the sky
..the potency of its brightness,
as it rises so does the temperature
What a delight- This
moment in time, sitting still.. paused
All that came before it matters not
Nor do the things that wait for my return
from this peaceful, sacred, resting spot.
This is the way we’re meant to live:
As one with all the Great Mother gives
So I take it in for a bit longer
My admiration growing stronger
Because I now know
That although I wish this could last forever-
Soon comes the time for me to go
Thanks are honorably given aloud
Mental pictures are taken
I’m proud
That I’ve grown into a woman who values moments like these
Slowly, deeply, inward I breathe
and offer a kiss to the land
Blowing gently outwards to the hillside.. to the valley.. the sand
..to the clouds with golden lining
..to the crashing waves with white peaks shining
..to the parts of this island that my naked eye can’t see
My soul adores you
With me, you’ll forever endure too
What a special time spent
I’ll be back soon,
Blessed be ✨ taken in The East Coast by @soulfullynomadic_

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10 months ago

Tonight, before I washed the remnants of Caribbean Sea salt out of my unkept hair, I got a glance of my sun-kissed body’s reflection in the mirror and felt divine. I felt beautiful. Feminine. Fiery. The way the minerals lit up my grey streaks that framed my rosy cheeks.. and how my aqua eyes, strikingly luminous, were highlighted against my reddened skin- I was reminded of what an exotic shell my soul is covered in.

There is something different that comes over me when my body is able to exist in warmer weather: Something sensual. Not only does my body crave more activity, but it lusts and longs for arousal. To be stimulated by the warm heat of the sun’s rays on my bare skin. To rise early, seeking heightened levels of the land to feel the strong wind in my hair, tickling the nape of my neck and sending chills down my spine. To be submerged in rushing rivers, being strongly massaged by the power of its flow ..or to find myself afloat as waves carry me weightlessly to the rhythms of the moon. To get overtaken by the humidity of elements’ coexistence. Oh, to feel!

I swoon for summery heat. Experiencing Aruba (alone) this past week awakened something in me that I’ve missed so dearly and deeply. Connection. Desire. Adventure. There is a more aligned version of myself that is awakened in the presence of the sweltering sun- A form that is attractive, active and alive! Wanting and craving and doing.

My reflection tonight was a reminder that the versions of ourselves that we madly love are only a touch of self-care away. I knew that all I wanted for my birthday was to wake up away from the cold, so I made it happen. Prioritized what would feel good to me. No excuses! I am so blessed to enter another cycle of life with stable health- and to do with the privilege of abundance in so many other forms.

Cheers to my 37th year of living as a delicious, devout, divine human being! This past cycle definitely had heartbreaking and challenging times, but it was also overflowing with special moments and gifted me such awareness, growth and understanding. Thank you to any/ all of you who shared kindness, admiration, wisdom or even just a smile with me- all of it matters 🤲🏽💖✨ taken in In My Element by @soulfullynomadic_

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10 months ago

‘I come to the garden alone, while the dew is still on the roses.’

My mother sang me to sleep every night as a child. Each of her six children had a song of their own, and as we all gathered in her room on our pallates on the floor (or sharing the bed) we would wait our turn as she’d sing to each of us in age order. Mine was ‘In The Garden’- a hymn.

I kept that song so close to my heart as I grew through life. Although I started my journey alongside my mother and my siblings, being homeschooled and learning wide-eyed and open-hearted in the kitchen and in our backyard.. life changed, as it often does. Thankfully, I made my way back to my peace as I matured through life.

I was sitting sipping tea this morning, while the dew was still on the roses.. and it hit me how grateful I am for my beginnings. The hardest point in my life was a little over six years ago, when I lost my partner to an overdose, then suffered one myself a year later. I look back and the only thing that was able to get me through the despair and fear and overwhelming changes were flowers, the Great Mother and song. Poetry to express myself, music to soothe me and nature to hold me. Dancing bare-skinned in the summer rain to smooth jazz, running aimlessly through the mountains, taking classes at the local apothecary learning how to hold space for women through ancient tradition and ritual- in praise and of the way of the Earth and her elements.

I’ve been so many women on this journey, but I am thankful to still have that sweet little flower child inside of me.. and to have found my way towards learning how to make her feel safe and at ease. I’m thankful that I found my way back to Source and to faith. To learn understanding on this journey.. to find enlightenment: There is no greater gift.

I am so thankful, also, for finding my way back to my mother Maura. She instilled so many beautiful things in me as a child and without her I wouldn’t be the woman I am today. To get to know your mother as an adult and fellow woman is sacred.

Life at 35 is nothing like I’d imagined, but what ever is? Not this post 😉 I just wanted to post this picture + a poem, but here we are. October blessings y’all🧡✨ by @soulfullynomadic_

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a year ago

On a day like today, thirteen years ago- I went against the grain and decided to cut all of my hair off. I remember how significant the choice was, as every single person in my life advised me against it- but I did that shit anyways and loved it. I went platinum at first, cut it into a cute little pixie.. then shaved it all down started fresh: No dye, no heat, no trims.. No nada. I have been natural ever since. For thirteens suns I grew my hair out and watched as my beautiful virgin hair bobbed into luscious waves and swirled into voluminous curls. I was so used to flat ironing my hair in the past that I never had a real relationship with my natural hair. The frizziness was always something I was embarrassed of. My hair grew big and wild- and I adored the way it had a life of its own. Year after year, my random strands of greys grew into little patches of salted speckles and now, streaks throughout. I faced constant taunting from the people closest to me about how I needed to dye my hair and do something with it, but it never mattered what people thought because why would I be ashamed of the fact that my hair was aging? I love my greys. I love that I get to grow old. I exist bodaciously in the reality that this is who and how I am. But lately I’ve been feeling a little more exploratory. I’ve been being drawn into my soft and pampered femininity. I want to feel tended to and ‘pretty’ in a different way. And it’s not contradictory, it’s just where I’m at. And wherever we are at at any time is ALWAYS okay, y’all. No explanations necessary. So this afternoon after a long day I sat my little butt in @hairbynattynat ‘s chair as she cut AND blow dried my hair for the first time in the number of the goddess’s solar returns and it was nice and I feel pretty and that’s my little story to tell about it. Yes, I saved a lock for my altar. Yes, I wanted to go show off and get some attention cause I felt cute but instead took my ovulating ass to the house, took some photos in the garden and am taking this time to appreciate the cycles of life we go through, how little things often mean so much, and how things are changing and I’m just so damn grateful to live my life x taken in Muriel's Garden by @soulfullynomadic_

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a year ago

I have never felt a connection to my name. As many of you know, I use it professional purposes only and tell people that they can call me whatever feels good to them. It has always felt very ‘white’ and I have never identified with that culture- Hence the ‘You can call me MAMi’ 🌹 Only recently have I began to feel called to step into the name I was given. I signed my last poem as ‘Amanda’, which I have never done. Today, for some reason, I was called to look up the meaning of my name. How I’ve never made a connect between the spelling and what it may mean in Spanish is just one of those things that makes you realize that sometimes you’re just not ready to value a realization until it’s destined time. It is time, for me, to step into my being in all ways- not just the ways I think that I know best. I have been working heavily and intentionally on loving myself, only allowing people in my space who value my love and return it without conditions. I have not often been loved healthily in my story, but when I have it has been so special to me and I value it beyond measure. I will never stop keeping my heart open for that love to find me, no matter who has lacked or failed to reciprocate the love I give so freely. My life revolves heavily on loving because you never know who needs it and how much it means and can change your day when you get some of it. It makes me wonder if the two people that made me and chose my name knew what it meant x

Amanda is a Latin feminine gerundive (i.e. verbal adjective) name meaning, literally, "she who must (or is fit to) be loved". Other translations, with similar meaning, could be "deserving to be loved," "worthy of love," or "loved very much by everyone." Interestingly, Amanda does not mean lovable. It means “she must be loved” in Latin. In Hebrew/Aramaic the name Amanda means “Gift from God.” taken in Riverbed Inn by @soulfullynomadic_

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a year ago

I think maybe I’ll post some photos here once in a while x by @soulfullynomadic_

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a year ago

Chin uplifted
Sun-smooched cheeks, their peaks pointing to the sky
I squint to soak in some sun rays
Safely sun gaze- mindfully glancing
I feel my spirit and vibration enhancing
as I take in this pure energy supply.
Smiling, warmly
My crow’s feet joyfully dancing
All of my inhibitions and apprehensions, here, are freed
I have no wants, not a single need
Time has no place here
Minutes, hours, days could pass me by
I become the moment
I am this cliff
I am the breeze
I am the July heat beating on my bended bruised up knees
The blue skies
Vast and wise
reflect in my mirrors of my grandmothers Irish eyes
The clouds’ silver linings play in my hair
The smell of conifers and humus become my pheromonal scent
The lust I feel for this is almost sinful-
So with my whole heart I repent
I apologize for never wanting to ever have to leave this space
I am so sorry that when I close my eyes I still see your earthen face
I regret ever meeting you
because now nothing even slightly compares to your powerful embrace
I’m a glutton
I’d sell my soul for nothing
to have these special moments:
You give me life..
..give me a reason to keep going.
..give me ferns and mosses,
artemisia and loosestrife.
You match my wild,
heal my inner child.
You hold me at all stages
be my temperament rigid, melancholy or mild.
I am safe here-
There’s nothing else that gifts me what you do
And for that reason,
No matter the distance or the season
I will undoubtedly, eternally and avidly
keep wandering my way back to you.

Singing my love from the mountain tops always, Pacha.
..with my soul and all I hold ⛰️ Amanda x taken in Above It All by @soulfullynomadic_

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a year ago

Little angel baby
fallen from Heaven
Look at how you shine
Iridescent energies
That could bring one to their knees
You’re a queen, strong but serene..
Humble, delicate
Divine

But you struggle
When you landed it was obvious you’d been displaced
Swollen eyes from silent cries
What lies behind that sweet smile on your face?

What causes you to withdraw
from all the love + beauty that surrounds you?
Friendly embraces, beautiful spaces
..still there’s a darkness that hounds + drowns you.

Why do you give in?
Why do you trust temptation every time it calls your name?
Presenting itself as joy + laughter,
leaving you stumbling, crumbling
falling for its game.
It’s always the same:
You think you’re powerful + able to draw the line
You say you know your limits
You convince yourself that you’ll be fine
That you can simply dip your toes into that pool of spirits and not want to swim
..But it’s relieving
and now there’s no reprieving
senses leaving
You’re waist deep and too far in
Way past wading, it consumes you and you’re floating
Light and free
No longer weighted by life’s burdens
You become one with the sea
You close your eyes and you can’t quite tell
Whether this freedom is of heaven or Hell
But boy, it feels so delightful
You try to open your eyes
But to your surprise
There’s only darkness
And it’s quite frightful
You don’t remember how you got here
Or even where it is you are
Fear sets in
You try to swim to shore
But this time, like so many others
You’ve floated too far.

You awaken, groggy, hours later
blinding daylight floods your eyes
There’s pain in your knees,
bruising on your shoulders
Discomfort between your thighs
A familiar feeling starts to rise
From deep down in the bottom of your gut
You’re can’t imagine why or how?
can’t piece together the who or what?
Choked up with nobody to call on
There are no answers, not a clue
There’s nobody to save you
All there’s left here
now is
you.

Fallen angel
Pick yourself back up
Dust off your broken wings
Wash away the unknowing of the last few hours
and the unsettledness it brings
Gather yourself
Pick your head up
remember who you are
You may have stumbled once again
Taken it a little bit too far
But (see comments) by @soulfullynomadic_

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2 years ago