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Bob Beshere

@bigilo_bobolo

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Actor, comedian, & dungeon master, so you get all 3:
👉 T: Gate City Noise Ordinance (@tws_comedy)
👉 W: Acting
👉 F: D&D

POSTS STORIES REELS TAGGED

Following years of radio ads proclaiming his insanity that professionals now sadly look back on as cries for help, Triad car dealership magnate “Krazy” Kevin Powell has been treated with a full frontal lobotomy, per a statement from his family. Powell is now said to be at home, resting comfortably, and finally at peace.

Dr. Miranda Gutierrez-Roberta-Gubenstein treated Powell for years, and was ultimately the one who made the decision to employ such a drastic treatment. “People say that insanity is doing the same thing over and over and expecting a different result. I don’t know why they say that. It isn’t true,” Dr. Gutierrez-Roberta-Gubenstein explains. “Anyway, yeah, Kev was crazy as a shithouse rat.”

While many in the Triad community were unaware of Powell’s long struggles, despite his proclaiming at every possible opportunity at maximum volume that he was in fact “krazy,” Powell’s descent into madness comes as no surprise to former car dealership owner Lev Chambliss.

He explains: “Dealing cars can be a hard business. It takes its toll on a man.” Chambliss pauses for a moment, then continues, his voice shaking: “You gotta go to some dark places and see things that should be left unseen in order to find the lowest prices and best deals for your customers, and Kevin… he always had the craziest deals. But I think he saw something in the darkness. And it changed him, man. It changed him.”

Meanwhile, employees and Triad motorists are waiting with baited breath to find out what will become of Powell’s auto dealership empire. While no official announcement has been made, inside sources have indicated that full ownership of the dealerships and inventory will be transferred to that one guy from high school who was always kind of a dick.

On this solemn day, we tip our hat to a mentally ill king! Enjoy your rest, sir!
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#gsonc #kevinpowell #krazykevinpowell #greensboronc #gatecitynoiseordinance

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Sneakers O’Toole, the ultimate NPC. 👟 👟

#dnd #gaming #podcast #woodworking #dungeonsanddragons

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What are some other fun dice rolling techniques? No idea is too ridiculous!

#dnd #gaming #fantasy #halloween #dungeonsanddragons

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A perfect thing to do on a cool October evening!

Tickets here: https://www.intothearts.org/campus-events/tonight’s-special-comedy-special-

#comedy #improv #standup #winstonsalem #tonightsspecial

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Time to make some Smeagol Soup 🌋

#dnd #gaming #fantasy #lotr #dungeonsanddragons

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It was a tough week for Greensboro UX developer Masoni Slatucci, whose 0-5 fantasy football team “Patrick and the Mahomies” fell to rival Bronk Huegen’s 4-1 “Bonnaruben Studdards.” As a result, per league by-laws, Slatucci faced the cold steel sting of his own blade, ending his life via the ancient ritual of harakiri .

“Voting for the Sacko punishment wasn’t the mistake,” Slatucci admitted earlier, while drawing his wakizashi, “My error was starting The Eagles’ D. Oof baboof.” He honed the short blade on a leather strip, surrounded by the other owners in the “Glup Shitto: A Spike Lee Joint Based on the Novel Push by Sapphire” fantasy league.

While some in the league suggested that punishment of harakiri for the lowest score was meant as a joke, league commissioner Coriander Jones insisted it was a matter of honor. “I always want to be fair in my rulings,” Jones said, “Thus, I feel obliged to be Kaishakunin for Masoni, should he fail to complete the ritual.”

We also asked whether harakiri was an appropriate choice for the league, given not a single member was a samurai from the Sengoku period. Jones didn’t see an issue: “Look, we’re an all-white, nerdy, bits-based fantasy football league. Obviously, we’ve studied the blade.” He then brandished his to-scale replica of Sephiroth’s Masamune he had forged at last year’s GalaxyCon in Raleigh.

Slatucci’s 12-person, Point-Per-Reception league is also a who’s-who of Greensboro notables, including Tony Kiddle, Flecky, Johnny Fruitbat, and Chad Smith 2, better known collectively as Grimsley-Dad cover band The Red Hot Whirlie Peppers. All stood still and proud to witness Slatucci’s ancient sojourn.

“If we’re going back to public executions as a nation,” Slatucci said, gripping his primary katana, “we need to up our game for the most important part of the fall: honoring the National Football League.” He then took four sharp breaths while we excused ourselves out of respect for the revered tradition.

Outside, we heard no solemn thud on the floor but his fully intact body. Slatucci joins his ancestral spirits with pride this day. Keep pounding. #gsonc #fantasyfootball #greensboronc #satire #gatecitynoiseordinance

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Custom Goliath Rune Knight Commission: Xoren Wulfhart Korano! ⚔️🔥

Loved bringing this absolute powerhouse to life! Here is his backstory, written directly by the commissioner/player :

"Bring me iron was the cry my father would say when there was work to be done. I remember hearing it for many years as I grew when I helped him between my lessons. Through the skills taught to my father by Dwarf master craftsmen and the skills of my mother earned through combat I was forged and molded to be the man I was meant to be. I am Xoren Wulfhart Korano. With the sword and armor forged by my father Xerxes Hammerhand Korimunaku and adopted grandfather Alarik Korano which I wield with the skills taught to me my mother Pethani Wingfoot Katho-Gileana I am a protector, soldier, guardian, and I will always see the end. And I take up my father's cry both to motivate and to warn; BRING ME IRON!"

#ttrpg #dnd #dndart #digitalart #fantasyart
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(goliath, dnd, dndart, dndcharacter, dungeonsanddragons, ttrpg, ttrpgart, characterdesign, originalcharacter, ocart, fantasyart, fantasycharacter, characterillustration, conceptart, digitalart, digitalartist, bespokeartstudio, goliathruneknight, runeknight, protector, soldier, guardian, visualstorytelling, tabletoprpg, fantasyworld, dndfighter, characterbackstory, rpgart, fantasyartwork)

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Why do bards make everyone feel so awkward? 🎶 🐕

#dnd #gaming #fantasy #funny #dungeonsanddragons

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After years of stalled talks and unfulfilled promises, Greensboro adult novelty store Priscilla McCall’s has finally delivered on their theme song promise to be where “fun and fantasy meet.” However, this historic accord took a dramatic turn when the two distinct forms of pleasure, fun and fantasy, combined to form an entirely new distinct form of pleasure, which our experts are dubbing “funtasy.”

“When I heard that fun and fantasy were finally getting together… man… I knew it was gonna be a good damn time. But this was so far beyond my expectations,” says
masturbation enthusiast Ronovan Goines. “I don’t even know how to describe this.”

According to Goines and other witnesses, the new feeling began at the Priscilla McCall’s location on High Point Road Gate City Boulevard, when an as of yet unidentified man picked up a video while holding a grab bag of mystery toys. The effect was immediate and dramatic.

“I don’t want to say that man was turned to goo, but that man was turned to goo,” says Goines. “The look in his eye though right before… I’ve never seen nothing like it.”

The effect was not as dramatic for other nearby patrons like Goines, but it did plunge them into a state of delirious bliss that proved messier than even Priscilla McCall’s was equipped to handle. Adding to the mess, several other men took the grab bag and video and also were immediately gooified.

Haz-mat crews were called in to contain the escalating goo troubles, but the challenge proved more drastic than expected. “This ain’t my first goo-sitch,” says high-risk sanitation specialist Billy Bob Flamenco. “But man, this one’s different. I’ve had to mop up a lot of guys.”

Greensboro City Council is expected to vote tonight on funding an expensive committee to explore issues relating to “funtasy” and “gooification rights,” though in the meantime, experts are warning citizens to steer clear of any situation where fun and fantasy may intersect.

As to what the mysterious goo is made of, our experts have analyzed samples and they assure us, “as bad as you think it is, it is much worse.” More to come as this story develops. #gsonc #greensboronc #satire #gatecitynoiseordinance

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Since it began emanating from The Meeting Place sculpture on West Smith and Prescott Street in early June, the mysterious extraterrestrial phenomenon known as The Shimmer has been spreading unceasingly through the Downtown Greenway. Greensboro’s City Council, though, has refused to take action or even comment, even as all plant, animal, and human life in The Shimmer’s path, as well several pieces of public art, have been absorbed into its prism-like influence and spit back out again as terrifying hybrid creatures that defy all known natural laws.
“I used to walk my labradoodle on the Greenway every day,” complained Westerwood resident Jodie Gulp, “but after Barker Posey ran through The Shimmer, her fur is made of beaks and vines! I can’t even pet her anymore!”
Greensboroites who reside near the now impassable Greenway and outdoor enthusiasts alike have called on the City Council to offer any kind of solution to the phenomenon. Instead, the Council has largely ignored those cries, some of which are the anguished screams of those touched by The Shimmer.
Citizens hoped the issue would arise at a poorly publicized community gathering held at The Pyrle early last week, but The Shimmer was left off the agenda in favor of a discussion about downtown parking. A resolution to build a barrier around the Greenway and prevent The Shimmer from expanding to downtown and Lee Street Gate City Boulevard was proposed, but defeated in a 5-4 vote.
While rumors have begun to circulate online that some council members may be in the pocket of Big Shimmer, or may in fact be malevolent duplicates created by the arcane phenomenon, answers have been in short supply. As with many council decisions, most citizens have just indifferently accepted the new status quo.
“It could be worse, I guess. At least The Shimmer is kinda pretty. And I suppose getting turned into a half-man, half-man plant with flowers for eyes and the limbs of a squirrel wouldn’t be that bad, all things considered,” says Bill Crosby, UX designer. “If Oden Brewing gets absorbed, though, so help me.”
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#gsonc #greensboronc #gatecitynoiseordinance

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There’s no way to open it, we’ve tried (almost) everything! 🚪 😡

#dnd #gaming #fantasy #funny #dungeonsanddragons

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