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Celluloid Lunch

@celluloidlunchrecords

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Hélène Barbier performs "Get A Grip" during FUZZstival from Arts at the Armory in Somerville, Massachusetts — shot on my Sony DCR-TRV27 MiniDV camcorder. @hlnbrbr @illegallyblindpresents @artsatthearmory @celluloidlunchrecords

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THEE RETAIL SIMPS absolutely slayed last night in London on the first night of their UK jaunt. They’re in Bristol tonight on an all-killer-no-filler bill with Bruno Bomp and Gimic, then all over the UK in the coming days. They are BACK in London though next Sunday, winding up their little tour with a Sunday afternoon matinee performance at Mystery Planes Number 15, upstairs at Walthamstow Trades Hall. Also on the bill are UNMARRY ME, amazing new band featuring members of Huggy Bear and Help She Can’t Swim, check their wicked new 12” on Bruit Direct Disques, which I *think* this is the launch party for. Opening up proceedings are MIDNIGHT MINES, playing some stuff from their forthcoming fourth LP. 2pm til 6pm, 1 November, advance tickets available from Ticketlab but move quick because the room is TINY.

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next wednesday~~
Pop Mutations & Freakender present:
Retail Simps
+ Dragged Up
+ R. Aggs
Wednesday 28th October
The Old Hairdresser's
18+

What if the Velvet Underground had written ‘Wooly Bully’ and Sam The Sham ‘Sister Ray?' If Ron House picked up some bongos and joined CCR or If Half Japanese and Hasil Adkins started a Meters cover band? This is the scrap yard of the Retail Simp's mind. Short on practice and high on ideas, thee Retail Simple Tones are 4 well traveled and unraveled individuals, bound by a musical adventure. This is the southern soul of Memphian tradesmen flipped on it’s snowy head, the sound of impure regionalism. An alternate kind of Northern Soul with a frosty Arctic sheen. More spazzed out guitar, more howling lunacy, more heat of the moment, turnt poetry and outside the box-isms. 3 LPs, 2 7"s, 1 2xLP, many tapes and shows in, the band remains unpredictable and ill content with stasis and the status quo. As the returns for REAL rock n roll diminish exponentially, so do the Retail Simps expectations, however, like the pious Eunuchs of Sumeria, their mission and core spirit remains strongly in tact: Get it or don't, they're on a mission.

poster by Perry @buffetlunchband

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THIS FRIDAY!!! All roads lead to New River Studios for this rocking triple bill of THEE RETAIL SIMPS (Montreal, Canada) + VIRVON VARVON + THE WEIRD WEATHER UNDERGROUND. A few advance tickets still left via Ticketlab, will have some on the door as well but it will cost you an extra couple of quid.

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Retail Simps & Norm Dogs @ Råhuset, Copenhagen

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Now that’s what I call a proper Tuesday. What a night! Thanks to Retail Simps for bringing the rock and the roll to our cold city, and thanks to Norm Dogs too, what the hell!! #angrycatshows #retailsimps

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Retail Simps "Real Simple" LP (Total Punk)
Auteurs d'un joyeux chaos sonore, les montréalais nous présentent ici leur cinquième album toujours sur l'excellent label Total Punk. Pour la première fois, j'ai l'impression que ce disque rassemble toutes les facettes du groupe, développant des compositions bien à eux, quelque part entre frat rock, garage 60s, influences Velvet ou plus expérimentales, tout y est. Une chanson comme "Gems and sand" prouve autant le talent mélodique que le talent d'écriture du groupe et un versant presque pop pas toujours reconnu à sa juste valeur. Si les Retail Simps cultivent avec malice un savoureux côté brouillon, ils savent aussi soigner les choeurs sur "Daffodil Girl", un morceau en équilibre, savonné par une fin psychédélique."Portal to Miami" balance la fuzz avec efficacité, trouvant le rythme et le son qui feront bouger vos corps lors de leurs concerts endiablés, comme le constate le public européen en ce moment. Les parties de guitares sont souvent épatantes, il y'a beaucoup de petites choses qui sont tentées avec fougue et une sauvagerie enthousiasmante. Ils revendiquent leur son ("Rock jocks") et leur temps ("Time has come") avec force et clarté. Huit morceaux mémorables qui leur permettront j'espère d'élargir encore leur public.
#RetailSimps #TotalPunk #NouveauteMusicale #MusicReview #RedlightSanatorium

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FRIDAY!!!!!!!!! RETAIL SIMPS + VIRVON VARVON + THE WEIRD WEATHER UNDERGROUND @ New River Studios, Manor House, London

Dance party in the bar afterwards with the GENERAL ECHO REGGAE DISCO

23 October 2026, 8pm til late, advance entry via ticketlab or more on the door.

The Midnight Mines head of marketing has sent me a tersely worded memo about my previous posts about this show, making it clear in no uncertain terms that these communications have FAILED and what works on Meta is FACES, so here are the FACES of the people playing for the benefit of algorithmic consumption / liquefactionist mind control. Apparently it’s also good if you do one of those straight-to-camera videos like everyone is suddenly a children’s TV presenter but my d.o.p. took Sunday off so this will have to do. Counter Intuits are not playing but I feel that Thee Retail Simps continue in that fine tradition of Ron House bands, rocknroll with an extra splitterty splat of snark. You didn’t print my last letter, what’s better, drugs or sex? Isn’t my haircut really intense?

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Just over a week until we bring Thee Retail Simps to Manchester on Tuesday 27th Oct @thepeerhat. Heavyweight support bill feat. two of the best live Manc bands of recent times in @brainleak__ & @magnumopus_ii. Ticket link in thee bio 🤌

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⚠️changement de lieu !
Come early!!

🍁 SA 17.10
doors 19:00 · show 20:00
2x-release Party
@ Eldorado bar, Mattenstrasse 28, biel.bienne

〰️ RETAIL SIMPS (garagepunk, CA)
https://totalpunkrecords.bandcamp.com/album/strike-gold-strike-back-strike-out

〰️ LEOPARDO (weird pop, CH)
https://leopardoshallo.bandcamp.com

〰️ KONTEXTE (diy pop, FR)
https://chruesimuesi-records.bandcamp.com/album/hello-world

〰️ FILM 2 (noisy krautrock, CH)
https://film2.bandcamp.com

〰️ OSCURA RESISTENCIA (dj-set, CH)
https://m.soundcloud.com/oscuraresistencia

🎨 poster design Gabrielle d’Alessandro

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LETS TRY THIS AGAIN: we said we’d never do it again but clearly we lied. TOTAL PUNK’s CORPORATE RETREAT IV coming to the @kentonclub in Portland the weekend of May 28. Still putting the finishing touches on the line up but here’s a sneak peak of what’s to come. Total Punk most proflic arteests RETAIL SIMPS, as well as TOTAL PUNK newest hitmakers: Alabama Canal dwellers DRAGNET, and Florida lo-fi garage bashers @hickeysonmybody (12” coming next year on TOTAL PUNK). Plus we’ve got business provocateurs MINNEAPOLIS URANIUM CLUB, UK dub-garage-noisemongera @midnightmines, Chicago post-punks @spread____joy, and Philly’s finest @wereeraser MORE ANNOUNCEMENTS TO COME BUT MARK YOUR CALENDARS NOW.
Killer art by @sicknimich

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