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Getting shot is already crazy.

But getting shot in a way that you can’t even tell your mama with confidence is worse. 😭🤣

I’m thinking, if I’m gonna get shot, at least let it sound dramatic.

Nope.

Dude shoots me… doesn’t even drop the gun… just spins away. 💀😂

How am I supposed to tell that story for the rest of my life?!

André Mulligan | Stand-Up 🎤
C Students

#AndreMulligan #StandUpComedy #StorytellingComedy #Comedy #louisville

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I’m from Louisville, Kentucky. Getting shot was already way too normal where I grew up. 😭😂

But if I was gonna get shot, I at least thought it was gonna be some dramatic gangster story.

Nope.

My boy stepped on somebody’s shoes… and somehow I ended up getting shot. 💀🤣

That is NOT the story I wanted to tell for the rest of my life. 😂

André Mulligan | Stand-Up 🎤
C Students

#AndreMulligan #StandUpComedy #Comedy #StorytellingComedy #louisville

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Every man knows deep down his wife can probably beat him up. 🤣🤣🤣

You can act tough all you want…

but when your wife is really the muscle in the relationship, you learn to know your role. 💀😂

Sometimes marriage is less about protection…

and more about hoping she stays on your side. 😂

85% ADJUSTED | C Students

#85PercentAdjusted #ComedySketch #MarriageComedy #CouplesComedy #andremulligan

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My mom finally gets to the school MAD. 😭🤣

You know that tone when your mom calls your name and you already know you’re in trouble.

We get to the car… Steve is outside smoking a cigarette, pissed off. 💀😂

“Y’all don’t know Steve?!”

We’re like:

“MOM… HE DIDN’T SAY THE PASSWORD!” 🤣🤣🤣

So technically… we did exactly what you trained us to do. 😂

André Mulligan | Stand-Up 🎤
C Students

#AndreMulligan #StandUpComedy #Storytelling #Comedy #part３

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Steve came to pick us up from school.

We asked him one question:

“What’s the password?”

He didn’t know it. 😭🤣

So me and my brother took OFF down the hallway yelling:

“HE KILLED OUR MOM!!” 💀😂

They kicked Steve out of the school…

Then 30 minutes later my mom showed up FURIOUS. 🤣🤣🤣

André Mulligan | Stand-Up 🎤
85% Adjusted | C Students

#AndreMulligan #StandUpComedy #Storytelling #Comedy #part２

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My mom did NOT play about safety. 😭😂

When me and my brother were kids, she gave us a secret password.

If anybody ever came to pick us up and didn’t know that password, we were supposed to scream and RUN.

And she trained us like she was preparing us for a hostage situation. 💀😂

Then one day… she sent her boyfriend Steve to pick us up from school.

Part 2 is where everything goes wrong. 🤣

André Mulligan | Stand-Up 🎤
85% Adjusted | C Students

#AndreMulligan #StandUpComedy #Comedy #Storytelling #Part1

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I quit stripping TWICE. 😭🤣

I was like 135 pounds and these women were picking me up and carrying me to their table like I was part of the entertainment package. 💀😂

And apparently I didn’t even have enough booty for the job.

“Look at him with that crack butt!” 🤣🤣🤣

André Mulligan | Stand-Up 🎤
85% Adjusted | C Students

#AndreMulligan #StandUpComedy #Comedy #Comedian #funny

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Freddie Jackson had a generation feeling SMOOTH. 😭🤣

You already know some OG somewhere heard the news, put on the music, adjusted the robe and said…

“Baby… come here.” 😂😂😂

RIP Freddie Jackson 🕊️❤️
A true R&B legend.

#FreddieJackson #RnB #Comedy #AndreMulligan #85PercentAdjusted

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“You weren’t Marvel… you were a TOY.” 💀😂

And fellas, rejection is already enough.
You don’t gotta SPIT on me too. 🤣🤣🤣

André Mulligan | Stand-Up 🎤
85% Adjusted | C Students

#AndreMulligan #StandUpComedy #Comedy #Comedian #funny

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I used to be a Black Chippendale… and women were RUTHLESS. 😭🤣

One woman gave me a dollar, looked at my back and TOOK THE DOLLAR BACK. 💀

Ma’am?! I already earned that! 😂😂

Fellas, there are some experiences you just have to learn from somebody else. 🤣

André Mulligan | Stand-Up 🎤
85% Adjusted | C Students

#AndreMulligan #StandUpComedy #Comedy #Comedian #funny

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Apparently as a Black man, EVERYTHING you do gets analyzed. 😭🤣

You’re happy? 🤨
You shop at Trader Joe’s? 🤨
You eat organic food? 🤨
You got your TOES OUT?! 🤣🤣🤣

Damn, can I just LIVE?! 😂

André Mulligan | Stand-Up 🎤
85% Adjusted | C Students

#AndreMulligan #StandUpComedy #Comedy #Comedian #funny

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Cuddling looks real cute in the movies. 😂

Nobody talks about trying to balance somebody’s HEAD on you all night. 😭

Then you switch positions and somehow YOUR whole body is in the air. 🤣🤣

Marriage is beautiful. 😂❤️

André Mulligan | Stand-Up 🎤
85% Adjusted | C Students

#StandUpComedy #Comedy #MarriageComedy #Comedian #andremulligan

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