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cassandra || free 🇵🇸🍉
✨reading is political✨
likely to be found explaining niche canadian content to anyone willing to listen
📚: 56/80

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✨ september wrap-up ✨

september you reminded me of where my heart is.

you reminded me that love needs to be nurtured and cared for. you reminded me to slow down, to take a deep breath, to accept kindness and generosity. thank you for that.

i was more intentional about my reading time this month but it still wasn’t enough to finish all the books on my hopefuls list. but i tried my best! hahaha the highlight was being able to beta read “the codex circle” by @cardigansandclassics. i am in awe at how effortless you make this writing thing look, emma!

i obviously drank way too much coffee in september, i listened to mostly sad music, and bought a couple new sweaters in anticipation for those crisp autumn mornings. cried at the jensen mcrae concert when she held my heart in her words.

in my august wrap up i was absolutely mortified to realize i didn’t share any wisdom or wit from the one and only elisa (@yeahimreading) so she gets a whole goddamn slide dedicated to her wonder. i love you.

september meant seeing friends for lunches in noisy food courts and dinners in cozy restaurants, and yap sessions on my couch. it meant being reminded that despite the way this lonely world works, i am not actually alone.

i used all this self-reflection to jump back to one of my first manuscripts, the bea side. because if there’s someone to understand my loneliness and yearning for connection, it would be bea. i’m so happy to be back with her.

welcome sweet october, i’m so glad to be around for what you have in store ✨

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September, you were so full. 🤍

I turned 30 and was fiercely celebrated by the people I love, in more ways than I could have imagined. I went to the cottage, spent a week at TIFF and saw four incredible films, finished my second novel, received feedback on my first, got a head start on the Booker Prize shortlist while also rereading one of my greatest comfort reads (Troy Barrett, I love you so much), cut off half my hair, wandered around Word on the Street, and slowly started making room for autumn.

It was packed and chaotic and busy and so, so beautiful. And I kept thinking all month: what a privilege it is to be busy with a life that I love.

More than anything, September reminded me how lucky I am to have people who show up for me. Whether it was for my birthday, my bachelorette, or through the time and care my beta readers gave The Codex Circle, I felt so deeply loved this month. The thoughtfulness, generosity, enthusiasm, and time you gave me did not go unnoticed. I’m still a little overwhelmed by it, in the best way.

Beta feedback is officially being rolled up and incorporated into the next draft of The Codex Circle now, but in the meantime, you can enjoy some very, very early reactions from Effie. 👀 Maybe this little book will be something you fancy too. More on that soon.

September was big. October already feels like it might be, too. I’m so excited for everything waiting for us this month. 🍂🤎

#bookstagram #septemberrecap #torontoblogger #booksta #canadianbookstagram

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“this made me think of you” aka the most romantic thing you could ever say to me!! my tail is wagging at turbo speed!!

please enjoy a collection of grudge memes and out of pocket texts sent by friends who somehow still tolerate me even after the tenth show hole joke bon appetitty

📚 READ HOLD ME LIKE A GRUDGE NOW: https://a.co/d/0de0JUPy + anywhere you love to shop for books!!

♥︎ 𝒉𝒐𝒍𝒅 𝒎𝒆 𝒍𝒊𝒌𝒆 𝒂 𝒈𝒓𝒖𝒅𝒈𝒆 𝒇𝒆𝒂𝒕𝒖𝒓𝒆𝒔:
💌 rivals to idiots to (forbidden) lovers
💌 grumpy black cat world champion x sunshine golden retriever himbo underdog
💌 “archenemy” ok what is he arching? his back?
💌 hurt/comfort
💌 playing with hair
💌 brat summer (literally)
💌 a mortifying amount of yearning
💌 religious trauma
💌 a mile long praise k*nk

…and more!

#romancebooks #sportsromance #bookmemes #bookstagram #queerbookstagram romancebookrecs bookrec sportsromance foundfamily steamyromance bookishmemes

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📍 hamilton, ontario

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🐞summer never dies🐞

an august dump!

what a quiet little month :’) not a lot of reading but a whole lot of writing and crafting. shoutout to zoloft for helping me feel grounded enough to trawl through art markets and museums without so much as breaking a sweat. reminder that when noah kahan sings “the minute that september hits i’m going off my medicine” he does not mean you!!

and you know what? there were a lot of feet mentions too for whatever reason.

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“August of another summer, and I am drinking the sun.” - Mary Oliver 🌬️

August was concerts, concerts, and more concerts. Olivia Dean. Hilary Duff. The Fray. All spent with some of my favourite people, which made every one feel a little more special.

My novel, The Codex Circle, is officially with beta readers, and I’m trying very hard to be normal about waiting for feedback. In the meantime, I’m still editing, sharpening, and getting it ready for the query journey ahead.

Mostly, this was a month of saying yes. Yes to plans, late nights, and squeezing in whatever my body allowed me to. I was booked and busy, and somehow loved almost every second of it.

I’m desperately gripping onto the last few moments of summer because this has genuinely been one of the best ones of my life. The end of August usually brings a particular kind of melancholy, but this year feels different. I’m sad to see summer go, but I’m also looking forward to cooler mornings, changing leaves, and whatever comes next.

I also read some wonderful books this month, including one by my dearest friend @apthayer. You’re a freak and I adore you. Atmospheric, immersive, and full of character dynamics I loved. The perfect read for the next few months, so consider this your sign to grab a copy. 📚

One of my favourite days was our HR tour, courtesy of mother Mariko. Spending the day with Mariko (@abitbetterbooks), Effie (@effiereads), and Cass (@folkloreandfiction) was so much fun. It still feels surreal that we found each other through this little corner of the internet and now get to make real memories together.

Maybe that’s what I’ll remember most about this summer: being surrounded by people I love and getting to say yes to a life that feels very full.

Here’s to August. To drinking the sun while we still can, and making room for whatever comes next. 🍂🤎

#bookstagram #books #recap #canadianbookstagram #torontoblogger

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my cheeks in high color / overripe peaches 🍑✨🌊☀️

aka a july wrap up

summer is in full swing! the wind keeps messing up my hair! i’m going boating past rainbow colored bathhouses! i eat whimsy for breakfast! if i see another cinnamon roll i may mcfrickin lose it! the devil’s minion consumes every waking thought! i am obsessed with lil buttplug like creatures! and to cap it all off: i am concussed!

what a magical month spent in the arms of people i love to bits: scandi summer, the vampire lestat with my freaks @folkloreandfiction @effiereads @yeahimreading & @vinireadsbooks, getting matching tattoos with cass, and practically living at the cinema.

reading took a backseat as i crawled back into my editing cave (though @aribaranwrites ‘ unsportsmanlike conduct made me howl), but it was such an art-heavy month!! i saw the scream at the munch museum in oslo and, fuckin finally, THE WRESTLERS IN STOCKHOLM!!! y’all see how homoerotic that statue looks? i lingered by it for a mortifying amount of time.

and somehow, on top of all of that, my debut book launch. does it still feel as unreal to you as it does to me?

love y’all lots. remember to drink some water. unclench your jaw 💕

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WELCOME! SLUTTY SHORTS SUMMER IS HERE 💋

just like that, Hold Me Like a Grudge is OUT WORLDWIDE!!!

i am not emotionally equipped to deal with the pub day scaries so i’m instead going to take this time to send all my love out into the ether! Grudge’s acknowledgement section is my fave thing ever. i filled it with tiny love letters to everyone who helped make this book a reality, who lent me their shoulders to lean on whenever things felt impossible, who taught me how to be brave and love me so fiercely in a way i once believed to only be possible in fairytales.

i’m so happy you exist, dear reader. you’ll always have a safe space here. this book was written for all of you. keep going. keep fighting.

my heart is yours now. take care of it, yeah? love you to the moon and back. tell asher and caleb i miss them 💕

📚 READ HOLD ME LIKE A GRUDGE NOW: https://a.co/d/0de0JUPy + anywhere you love to shop for books!!

If you’re new here—hi, i’m cel! my debut novel, HOLD ME LIKE A GRUDGE, is a steamy queer sports romance where a fierce rivalry between two professional wrestlers heats up beneath the spotlight. Grudge is my love letter to the indomitable spirit of queer communities past, present, and future. it’s about defiantly existing in a world that wants to write you out of its history books, filled with underdogs sticking it to big systems.

♥︎ 𝒉𝒐𝒍𝒅 𝒎𝒆 𝒍𝒊𝒌𝒆 𝒂 𝒈𝒓𝒖𝒅𝒈𝒆 𝒇𝒆𝒂𝒕𝒖𝒓𝒆𝒔:
💌 rivals to idiots to (forbidden) lovers
💌 grumpy black cat world champion x sunshine golden retriever himbo underdog
💌 “archenemy” ok what is he arching? his back?
💌 hurt/comfort
💌 playing with hair
💌 brat summer (literally)
💌 a mortifying amount of yearning
💌 religious trauma
💌 a mile long praise k*nk

…and more!

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May, wait for me. 🌿🍋🐛🍯🌙

April’s busyness brought even more busyness into May, but how could I possibly complain? I spent almost every week celebrating someone I love. What a privilege, really, to have so many people worth showing up for.

This month held a lot. I started gymnastics again, which has been more than humbling, but also so fun. It amazes me how quickly the body remembers what it once knew. I also met some big milestones at work, which felt deeply fulfilling. And I met my writing goals. The second draft of The Codex Circle is officially complete, though somehow the word count has increased… again. So June will be for condensing.

I’ve also been working my way through the Pulitzer fiction shortlist and the International Booker Prize shortlist, with Angel Down, Audition, Taiwan Travelogue, and The Nights Are Quiet in Tehran as early favourites. But among all these brilliant books, my favourite read of the month was Hold Me Like a Grudge by our very own Celly (@readwithcel).

Mostly, May was friends and loved ones. Early summer. Long dinners. Little plans. Big feelings. The joy of being known and loved by good people. I love my friends level 1000.

And finally, the Canadian Grand Prix was magnificent. Not only was it a fun race, it was a fun weekend. The city felt alive with passionate sports fans, and we got to end it with the sweetest dinner with Cass and Effie.

May was full, and generous, and a little breathless. I’m leaving it grateful. For the people, the work, the words, the movement, and the small bright beginnings of summer. For all the beautiful things that kept asking me to pay attention.

Thinking of you,
Emma 🤍

#books #bookstagram #monthlyrecap #toronto #canadianbookstagram

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it's raining tonight as I'm typing this covered in a blanket and our cat l🌑🌕na (who i obviously named after LOOΠΔ) is laying next to me, apparently exhausted playing mommy all day. She turns a year old this monsoon and it's hard to believe that this baby is now a momma to another baby. She's still so naive and a little stupid, because she carelessly walked out this morning and got attacked by the neighborhood dog. It's going to leave a scar and as I look at her sleeping being, slowly rise and fall with each breath, I can't help but be thankful to this white cat for keeping me company this summer in this lonely house in the middle of nowhere.

The weather these days has been like these pictures, sunny during the day but cold at night. Little Gods is a book I took off of my shelf intending to find a new home for it but it unintentionally instead became part of this carousel. Loona loves to come sleep over my books for some reason. Now that I recall, our late cat Mao Z was also like that.
Cats and books, a beautiful combination, no? especially when it happens spontaneously. So much so that it's become a template for art and aesthetics now eh.

Well, books will come and books will go.
Cats give birth and cats grow old. And cats stay with us for the rest of *their* lives.
And my heart simultaneously breaks and heals a little as I gaze at my sleeping child, breathing next to me.

~~
I'm in the mood to revive old booksta challenge tags, like the ones from 2021-22. Maybe something like #bookstagrampets edition. Not sure how many of y'all have pets but tagging some 🐾💜💟

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we’re so back, baby (jane doe!) ✨✨✨

since s2 left us only wanting more, we figured we’d bring back our favourite post: what your faves are reading in the pitt!!

during pitt-season, everything revolves around pitt thursdays: we stay up way too late analyzing the episodes, reading fanfic, and then friday mornings head to work in a fugue state. these characters and the events at the ptmc have made permanent homes in our shared brain.

it’s been 43 days since the finale (we are being chill and not already counting down the days til s3), and we can’t stop thinking about it, so without further ado here is our COMPREHENSIVE and EXTREMELY ACCURATE assessment of what ur faves are (or should be) reading in da pitt!

✨who is your fave character? what would you recommend to them (besides therapy)?

#ThePitt #BookRecs

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do you ever just get so emotional thinking about friendship? how wonderful people are? how great it is to share the world with people you love? i think i do every day.

I say it a lot, but I love it here. I love the friends I’ve made across the world and sharing things from afar. My love language truly is shared media and obsessions. So this was fun to hear!! Shocker, I don’t shut up about my favorite things! Thanks for listening to me, and I’m always so happy to listen to you guys. But every now and then, I really sit back and think: what are the odds? What are the odds that I’ve made some truly amazing friendships over the years on this app. The odds of a brainrot groupchat still going strong after six years (or something wild like that?) sharing milestones from afar and clapping for you all through your accomplishments. Holding your hand and wiping your tears when I can. Yeah, this post is what people think of me, but this message is all for you. So one last time, 🗣️🗣️🗣️I LOVE MY FRIENDS 🗣️🗣️🗣️

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