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iloveladyc

@iloveladyc

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isa carousel carousel carousel polachek, turning up the mic a lil louder they can’t hear it yet

new freestyle up on SoundCloud, link in bio. I recorded it yesterday on my dad’s birthday no it wasn’t planned. When I was little I was singing Hilary duff while he was home and he asked if it was me he heard, I lied and said no cause he was already laughing. Punk ass miggas like to shrink the fearless in you because they weren’t taught to shine in certain ways, mostly as a result of white supremacy, survival tactics, etc etc. I often gaslight myself into thinking im crazy for experiencing a very layered, very trans, and very unique life, not everyone’s gonna get it and that’s alright, im just making sure im in alignment with my guides and my Ori and my path which winds whichever way for my best, to bring out the best in me. Just gotta keep showing up. Shout out to @earthsignchels I don’t know you but this song snapped quite a few things into focus for me, along with

This! I grew up agnostic at home and part-time Catholic in school but in hindsight Spirit’s always been with me. Writing nowadays feels like im mixing canons together to create a different kind of sociospiritual text, one that’s personal to me but also universal through the belief systems that inform my everyday practices. This snippet outlines the moments before the Garden of Eden came to be, cause like what if the apple was an Ori Luci chose after God sent her to “borrow” one from Ajala’s workshop of destiny? Religions where one father figure is in charge tends to grind my gears, though I’ve learned you don’t have to throw the babe out with the water, you can swaddle the child and boil the water clean before pouring it somewhere more useful. I’m just spittin relax “Untitled?”

I recorded this two poem years ago now with @rayisodd which was a first experience. Link in bio, SoundCloud. I didnt share it for a while cause I was in my shrinking era and afraid to be trans seen and nb heard yadda yadda yadda. Facing my fears though, and showing more of myself because if I don’t others will assume they know me when in actuality do they even know themselves? Do any of us? Aren’t we all growing into our becomi

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@iloveladyc A COOKOUT KI II : FRIDAY SEPTEMBER 25TH : 5 - 8 PM : @greenegardenbrooklyn 2 S PORTLAND AVE : POETREE : LIVE PERFORMANCES : AN OHPEN MIC : AND TALK ON COLLECTIVE CARE : FREE FOOD : FREE VIBES : DM IF YOU’D LIKE TO SHARE DURING OUR OHPEN MIC : TEN PARTICIPANTS MAX : LET’S PAY BLACK TRANS POETS AHHHH!!!

@jonnydabody : ARTIST AND VISIONARY JONNYDABODY WILL BE GRACING THE GARDEN STAGE AS OUR FIRST PERFORMER 💐

OKAYYYYYY!!!! 🔥🔥🔥🔥

@zonhus IS BRINGING THE HEAT AS OUR SECOND PERFORMER OF THE NIGHT 💐

I LIKE THIS!!!!!! 💓💓💓💓

@gurliedelux LIL MISS GURLY THAT’S ME ILL BE RAPPING AND POETING IM NOT PLAYIN 💐

I SAID WHAT I SAID!!!!! ☺️☺️☺️😉

RUN O SHOW : I WANNA HAVE FUN AND CONNECT AND EAT SOME FOOD AND RAISE SOME MONEY FOR @blacktransmedia AND @iloveladyc TOO CAUSE WE OUT HERE CREATING SPACES WHERE BLACK TRANS SIBLINGS CAN COME TOGETHER, BE OURSELVES, RELEASE OLD SCRIPTS, AND SHINE IN SAFETY!!!! ARE YOU READY? ARE YOU COMING?

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OHPEN : It’s been fun recording these for y’all, for whoever’s watching, for whoever’s down to transmute, full videos on the tube : and the links in my bio. I want our people to watch these because they aren’t just for me. It’s a reminder that we can provide this kinda guidance for ourselves too. I’ve been singing to myself since I was a kid, and so allowing the practice to meld with the others that’re currently occupying my existence feels…good…real good…mmm.

SPIRIT LEAVES ROOM FOR THE CRASH OUT : AND IM GETTING A MIC : but stay cause I’m spittin. No bee was harmed in the making of this, we had a talk afterwards. Fate is a web that ties us back to Source, which is why I’m weary of a cord cut. And at the same time, there are moments you gotta do the “wrong thing,” the “impolite thing” to get back on track. Perfectionism is colonialism, not I. Not I.

IM READING IN BETWEEN THE LINES : YEAH! : oh the unsaid, that’s the gurl you gotta lookout for. When paired with the unseen, it could really rattle a neurodivergent brain. Self-regulation is so important. Like I can take a pause and breathe, I don’t have to keep pushing myself. I am safe. You are safe, even if you can’t clock how : did I use it right? I guess you’re part of the collective if you feel me, feel me?

STEP IN THE NAME LOVE : compassion is an art, but it doesn’t have to be sugar pie honey bunch. If your heart had a mouth what would it say? Oh wait! Fuck shame I’m growing and that’s enough, and I’m gonna have faith that my siblings around me are growing too. That’s all I’m sayin.

THE PRINCIPLE OF PLEASURE : when did I become so afraid of my own desires? Why is remembering how another body feels so terrifying? Does it get easier? Does the trauma turn to something else eventually? Lemme know in the comments please please please please : in the words of James.

LET HER COOK : I’m guiding my way to truth, and you’re helping me, and hopefully I’ve been helping you in some way. It’s in this exchange of our individual spirit’s reality where the illusions of extraction and exploitation shatter to pieces. We don’t have to use each other, but we do need to build together, be together, laugh together, mobilize, or

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And are you coming to tarot study?

Yeah you are. Tomorrow starting at 6 @blacktransmedia : the following are clips from two collective readings that’re on the YT channel ITTY BITTY TAROT if you wanna watch. Link in bio

PAPA COIN : sovereignty : in what ways are you in control of your mind, body, actions, words : in what ways do you surrender to the guidance hidden within?

Spirit, please play Moral Consequence : you already played that? Alright well, can we play it again?

THE RIDER IN REVERSE : the pressures of being a leader, shifting from external validation, the ways in which outside opinion can rise your decision making into the wrong direction : or rather, a different direction : stay the course babe

Is there heart in your resistance, ms gurl?

FOUR OF COINS IN REVERSE : selfishness, materialism : headstrong harmed the shark : though the confidence and the drive can lead you, it can also isolate your vision : it ain’t just about the cheese, your wants aren’t needs ; what encourages you to become more of yourself?

SAVE THE DATE : FRIDAY SEPTEMBER 25TH : @iloveladyc COOKOUT KI OHPEN MIC BITCHES : performances by @jonnydabody @zonhus @gurliedelux : Free food : talk on collective care prrrr there’s more coming like soon soon like around the corner

Ay ☺️

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TAROT STUDY STARTING THIS THURSDAY : SIX TO SEVEN THIRTY EVERY WEEK AT @blacktransmedia : THIS’LL BE A SPACE WHERE FOLKS CAN COME AND READ TOGETHER + DIVE DEEPER INTO CARD INTERPRETATIONS : IT CAN ALSO BE A TIME WHERE PRACTITIONERS CAN CONDUCT READINGS OF THEIR OWN FOR THOSE LOOKING FOR SPIRITUAL SERVICES

CHANNELED MESSAGE : SEPT 1ST : PART ONE

If you’re comfortable, I’d love to hear some answers to these questions in the comments. You can also DM me, but I’d like for these tarot readings to be more like an open dialogue. I’m a messenger in training lol, and everyone reads cards differently, so lmk what’s coming up for you 🤓

CHANNELED MESSAGE : SEPT 1ST : PART TWO

I used to draw a lot as a kid, yes : to distract myself from shit I wish had been different : but also as a way to regulate uncomfortable emotions and realities that I didn’t have the bandwidth to change yet. Returning to this practice today is feeling like a necessary restart, reminding myself that it’s okay to create art without measuring what comes out

CHANNELED MESSAGE : SEPT 1ST : PART THREE

I find power sexy, and while that’s true in some ways, confusing power for domination and control has resulted in me relinquishing my own agency to others as a signifier of worth. It feels silly admitting this here, but the process of recentering my own autonomy throughout multiple areas in my life has encouraged me to acknowledge the powerful women, femmes, and folk around and within me who aren’t expecting me to shrink. It’s helping me establish more reliable boundaries (even if it takes a minute) : i wasn’t born to be a punching bag : I’m not a wallflower either : I’m a lot stronger than I give myself credit for : like most things, how we treat others is an extension of how we treat ourselves : some of the most powerful people in this world not-so-deeply inside are the most tortured : the following poem contends with this perspective : and how quickly one can go from holding the knife to being slit.

I’m posting more of these on @gurltalkgurlfeeling ✍🏾 I’m grateful to say that I’m writing poems almost every day again, and I wanna share : also substack substack substack I haven’t forgotten about i

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🧿 Hiiiii ARE YOU CRAVING 🐟? LUVV DIVINE THAT SONG AND THE INTERLUDE AT THE END TOO 💓 I SHOULD’VE BELIEVED MY BODY SOONER, LISTENED TO THE SURROUNDING MOTHERS AUNTIES SIBLINGS AND ANGELS SOONER, I’M NOT ALONE 🥹 AND DON’T HAVE TO BE TO FEEL IMPORTANT 😃 YOU’LL ALWAYS BE THE ONLY YOU SO TIME TO GET OUT YR OWN WAY AND BE THAT LOVELY SELF (speaking from experience) 💐 LOVE YR STORY, LOVE YR HISTORY, ACKNOWLEDGE YR BLESSINGS, STAND IN YR TRUTH even if it feels kinda weird, LOVE THE PRESENCE WE SHARE (not me saying this being a major introvert lol), LOVE YR FUTURE, START NOW ☺️ THRU IT ALL REMEMBER THAT BLACK TRANS LOVE IS WORTH AS WE ENCOURAGE EACH OTHER TO GROW, LEARN, ACCEPT DIFFERENCES, STUMBLE, EMBRACE CHANGE, FIND OURSELVES, TEND TO AND LIVE OUTSIDE OUR WOUNDS, SHARE RE$OURCES, SUPPORT EACH OTHERS NEEDS WITHOUT OVER-EXTENDING OUR OWN, ACT, REST, SPEAK UP, DANCE, PLAY, CREATE, HAVE FUN, stay real. SINCE JOY EXPRESSED ALSO PROTECTS US IN A WORLD THAT VIEWS US AS MISERABLE CONS WHO ARE INHERENTLY GUILTY FOR DARING TO BE DIFFERENT 🌱 DISCERN MORE, PREPARE FOR THE LIFE YOU’D LIKE TO LIVE, and HONOR THE CHILD IN YOU, show them how special they’ve been. 🌞 THATS SO T : FREE TAROT STUDY FOR SISSYS AND STIMS 🤓 STARTING IN SEPTEMBER (ill post the flyer once im done drawing it) would love to hold the space at Judson and also other places, so if you’re interested DM please PLEASE 🫪 OKAY THATS IT, LOVE IS IN, KEEP BEING YOURSELF AND SHARING WHO YOU ARE AND WHAT YOU LOVE WITH THOSE WHO FEEL YOU, O!NKZ HATE THAT, ALMOST AS MUCH AS DISMANTLING INTERNALIZED BLACK TRANS MISOGYNY 🧿🦋🫶🏾

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Last week, we hosted Queerly Beloved: Pride Shorts in the Park, co-presented and co-curated with Rooftop Films. Thank you to everyone who showed up and made the day extra special 💖

Photographs by @kedrickdwalker

Huge shout out to our community partners @newfest, @bklynlibrary, @brooklynbookbodega, @hoodschoolnyc, @iloveladyc, and @blacktransmedia.

We’re especially grateful for book donations from @AvonBooks, @HarperVoyagerUS, @BerkleyPub, @GrandCentralPub, @LegacyLitBooks, @DaCapoPublishing, @tinyrepbooks, @duttonbooks, @SimonBooks, @Sourcebooks, @01firstsecond, and @lambdaliterary.

And deep gratitude to @nyctourism, @bklynorg, @nyculture, @nyscouncilonthearts, and @cmcrystalhudson for financially supporting this program.

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Wait ARE YOU COMING TO QUEERLY BELOVED? @iloveladyc is hosting a black trans chill space with @blacktransmedia + @hoodschoolnyc at @fortgreenepark TODAY, THIS WEDNESDAY from 6pm - 8:45pm. Free clothes at 6. “1Mic” starts around 7. There’s gonna be pizza and snacks for mic volunteers. They’ll also be bean bag chairs and vibes set up, it’s basically like a space for us to meet, connect, be outside, and watch films together! BLACK DOLLS TO THE FRONT OBVIOUSLY 🫂 BOIS AND NBIES WELCOME 🤗 BYOBLANKET AND DM ME IF YOU’RE STOPPING BY

Gemini season was and is and will forever be a month where I’m challenged by change, which makes sense knowing me. Through it all though, I’m still swinging with a few firsts to tell: a spring poetry cypher at @_bodyhack_ 🌬️ attending @comfreyfilms black trans short film festival 🎥 performing poems and a song I made with @leprdprint_ on my birthdayday at @whilewereherebk (video link in bio)🎈 and now a Ladyc*%k activation in the park I grew up with like wtfffff

Ladyc*%k Ohpen Mouth is the snake that keeps on shedding, and I’m grateful because it’s pushing me to leave some of my introversions behind in a way, I feel, will only help me grow. Thank you to every single person who’s ever welcomed me into their world to teach me something. You’re all in my head making me laugh, and reminding me that there’s power in showing up, in play, in rest, in rage, in peace, in compassion, in our stories, and in our shared wisdom, and in our tongues, and in creating spaces where black trans siblings can enjoy our everyday hereness.

See you,
Gurlie

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Join us this Wednesday on the Central Lawn for Queerly Beloved: Pride Shorts in the Park, a radiant program of LGBTQIA+ short films from around the world, pulsing with self-invention, resistance, and the intimate acts of becoming and belonging.

Make sure to come early to stop by our tables with over 100+ free Queer books donated by @AvonBooks, @HarperVoyagerUS, @BerkleyPub, @GrandCentralPub, @LegacyLitBooks, @DaCapoPublishing, @tinyrepbooks, @duttonbooks, @SimonBooks, @Sourcebooks, and @01firstsecond. Walt Whitman Library will also be offering a selection of Queer books, graphic novels, and DVDs available for checkout along with library card sign ups.

🗓️ Wednesday, June 24 (Rain Date: June 25)
⏰ 7:00–10:30pm
• 7:00pm: Lawn Opens with Free Books
• 8:45pm: Films Begin
• 10:00pm: Q&A with Filmmakers
📍Fort Greene Park's Central Lawn (closest entrance: Dekalb Ave/Washington Park)

RSVP is encouraged, but not required for entry (link in bio). Seating is first come, first served. We encourage you to bring a yoga mat, picnic blanket, or foldable chair for seating.

Free screening co-presented and co-curated with Rooftop Films.

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Grab a spot on the Central Lawn for Queerly Beloved: Pride Shorts in the Park and enjoy an evening of LGBTQIA+ short films from around the world in Fort Greene Park. Swipe for a map to help find us.

The lawn will open at 7pm. The screening will start shortly after sunset (~8:45pm). Following the films, stay for a brief Q&A with some of the filmmakers. English subtitles will be provided for international shorts.

RSVP is encouraged but not required for entry. Seating is first come, first served. We encourage you to bring a yoga mat, picnic blanket, or foldable chair for seating.

Free screenings co-presented and co-curated with Rooftop Films. Thank you to program partner @newfest!

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🗣️📝 we’re joined by @iloveladyc @blacktransmutualaid blacktransmedia & @fund_the_inside on April 30th to activate a Spring Poetry Cypher with community from 9:30PM-11PM! ᡣ𐭩 •｡ꪆৎ ˚⋅

SIGN UP; If you’re interested in joining the poetry cypher, folks could DM or email Gurliedelux@pm.me / blacktransmedia@gmail.com ~ 🌸 💌

Drained from the world around us? As seasons shift, we’re reminded that there’s poetry in creating spaces where we can channel, express, mirror each other’s shine, and support our community.

Come flow into the Spring Poetry Cypher, nourished by Ladycock, Black Trans Media, and Black Trans Mutual Aid Group. We’ll be centering Black Trans Queer, Femme, and disabled artists, while uplifting the work of F2L Network in support of our siblings on the inside. There’ll also be a free store and mutual aid, clothes, and masks giveaway! Cypher starts at 9:30 with a mixture of open mic slots and featured performances.

APRIL 30TH
9:30-11PM
at NOWADAYS @nowadaysnyc

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femmes…read. happy to announce that copies of our second issue of FEMMESPREAD are available for purchase at some of your favorite spots in brooklyn!

huge thank you to Rain at @hivemindbookstore , Steven at @quimbysbookstorenyc , and DB at @humanrelationsnyc for platforming some transsexual literary art offerings! walk, don’t run!!!

HIVE MIND BOOKS 🍯
219 IRVING AVE
MON-SUN 9-7PM

HUMAN RELATIONS 🍃
1067 FLUSHING AVE
MON-SUN 12-7PM

QUIMBY’S BOOKSTORE 📖
536 METROPOLITAN AVE
MON-SAT 11-8PM, SUN 12-7PM

a portion of your purchase proceeds will go directly towards building a mutual aid fund for trans women 🏳️‍⚧️ ⚧️

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