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Julia Minson | Harvard Professor

@juliaminson

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Decision scientist @harvardkennedyschool
Negotiations Professor
Author | Speaker | Researcher
My new book “How to disagree better” 👇🏼

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Books for your October Reading List.

-The Power of Positive Habits @jongordon11
-How to Be Good at Life @benmeer
-Conversation @vvanedwards
-Surrounded by Liars @thomaseriksonwriter
-How to Disagree Better @juliaminson
-How to Be a (Happy) Skeptic
-The Genius and the Imposter @brainjojosh
-The Five Secrets You Must Discover

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Follow @theparentbridge for more parenting insights and suggestions

Most parents assume any argument in front of their kids is harmful, but developmental psychologist Dr. Aliza Pressman reveals a critical distinction: your kids actually benefit from seeing you disagree—if you do it right.

3 Evidence-Based Habits for Modeling Disagreement:

Argue, don't fight: Show constructive disagreement with curiosity and respect instead of screaming or name-calling. Kids absorb how to navigate conflict by watching you handle it calmly.

Demonstrate resolution: Let your kids see that two people can hold different opinions, discuss them openly, and still remain a team.

Keep high-conflict behavior off-limits: Aggressive fighting and name-calling should be avoided entirely—not just around the kids, but as a standard for your relationship as a whole.

Your kids don't need to see a flawless marriage—they need to see a healthy framework for working through conflict. How do you handle disagreements in front of your kids?

Speaker @dralizapressman
@juliaminson

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Loved this distinction between fighting and arguing! We talked about the skill of disagreeing better on this week’s episode of Raising Good Humans Podcast. Arguing is healthy and can help our kids understand that we can love and disagree and we can do so without undermining our love. Fighting, in this context, has a layer that doesn’t feel productive or loving and can be interpreted as threatening. We are all human and have bad moments, this is a guide not a critique! ❤️

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For the last three weeks I got to participate in a program at the Harvard Kennedy School of Government, formally titled “Senior Executives in State and Local Government,” but which I’ve lovingly called “Summer Camp for Government Nerds.”

As a former camp kid and camp counselor, the name turned out to be fitting: it was deeply immersive, they fed and housed us, and we built our own culture — inside jokes, catch phrases, and an experience only we’ll ever fully understand.

I’m so grateful to the Gates Family Foundation for making this possible. Every day I knew what a gift it was to wake up and only focus on learning — studying with world-class researchers who wrote the books we were holding, inspired by humanitarians and activists, wrestling with ideas alongside classmates from across the US and 4 other countries.

I’m coming out of this changed — by the new ideas and tools, and by the incredible local government leaders who inspired me. If these are the people holding the reins, we’re going to be okay. It will take time to fully process everything the Harvard Kennedy School gave me, but I can already feel it making me a better leader for my community — more tools, more frameworks, more relationships, to serve the people of Gunnison County.

Thank you @gatesfamilyfoundation and thank you @harvardkennedyschool for this extraordinary experience and investment in our communities!

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Could watching a beer commercial change your mind about people with different politics?🍻

Disliking or hating the people on the opposite political side is becoming more and more common. Researchers call this “affective polarization,” and discovering ways to decrease this polarization is a large part of our latest guest, @harvardkennedyschool professor @juliaminson work.

One Heineken commercial explored a simple idea: what happens when people get to know each other before learning how much they disagree? After working together, they discovered they held very different political views. Then they faced a choice: walk away or sit down and talk over a beer.

Would you choose to have that beer? Our new Beyond Polarization series highlights the complexities of polarization across sectors and gives you a tool kit to navigate polarization in your everyday life. Learn more about communication and how to combat toxic disagreement in the full episode here.

Minson is the author of How to Disagree Better and and the founder of the behavioral science consulting firm Disagreeing Better.

Subscribe wherever you listen to podcasts!

#Polarization
#BeyondPolarization
#Dialogue
#Democracy
#Socialpsychology
#MakePeaceVisible

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In our opening episode for our Beyond Polarization series, we talked with @harvard professor and social psychologist, @juliaminson, who shared research-backed insights to navigate disagreement.

Minson and colleagues developed a method to improve conversations with people you disagree with – whether it’s over politics, a business decision, or where to go on your family vacation.

They took thousands of transcripts and picked out the words and phrases that made a person seem like they were being receptive. They created the acronym HEAR. Minson elaborates on this acronym below (quotes pulled from our recent interview).

H: The H stands for hedging your claims. It’s phrases like maybe, sometimes, perhaps. You’re making room, making space. You're showing the other person that you're allowing for possibilities and exceptions.

E: The E stands for emphasizing agreement. For example, I'm not going to agree with you, I'm not going to change my mind, but I might emphasize the fact that we have the same concerns. So it's phrases like, "I too am interested in" or "I agree with part of what you're saying."

A: The A stands for acknowledgement. It’s taking a few seconds to restate the other person's point of view. So again, you're showing with your words that you really heard them.

R: The R stands for reframing to the positive. So dropping contradictory and negative words like ‘no, can't, won't, don't, terrible, hate, kill’… and replacing them with more positively valenced words like ‘great, appreciate, wonderful.’

Polarization is not a lost cause, and this episode shows if you communicate better, you can reach those on the other side. Learn more about communication and how to combat toxic disagreement in the full episode here.

Minson is the author of How to Disagree Better and and the founder of the behavioral science consulting firm Disagreeing Better.

Subscribe wherever you listen to podcasts!

#Polarization
#BeyondPolarization
#Dialogue
#Democracy
#Socialpsychology
#MakePeaceVisible

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“The concern isn’t that we disagree, the concern is that the disagreement has turned into a kind of a toxic mindset towards the other side.” — Dr. Julia Minson, on the MPV podcast

Julia Minson (@juliaminson), @harvard University professor and social psychologist, shares research-backed insights to navigating polarization in society.

Polarization is not a lost cause, and this episode shows if you communicate better, you can reach those on the other side.

Minson is the author of "How to Disagree Better" and and the founder of the behavioral science consulting firm Disagreeing Better. In this episode, she shares some of her research findings about what we get wrong about each other, and what interventions have worked to correct misperceptions. Plus, a proven formula you can use to have a meaningful conversation in conflict situations.

Minson is our first guest in the new Beyond Polarization series, where we’re talking to bridge builders in media, education, tech, and more. Follow Making Peace Visible for more episodes.

Subscribe wherever you listen to podcasts!

#Polarization
#BeyondPolarization
#Democracy
#Socialpsychology
#MakePeaceVisible
@harvardkennedyschool

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What if the goal of an argument isn’t to win? 🥊

Behavioral scientist Julia Minson joined Remarkable People to explain why most disagreements fail—and how better conversations can actually strengthen relationships.

This episode might completely change the way you handle conflict at work, at home, and online!

Listen now 🎧https://guykawasaki.com/the-science-of-better-disagreement-with-julia-minson/

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Our TBR stack for the long weekend 📚

📘 Scattered Minds: The Origins and Healing of Attention Deficit Disorder by Gabor Maté, MD
📘 The Anti-Viral Gut: Tackling Pathogens from the Inside Out by Robynne Chutkan, MD
📘 Unwinding Anxiety: New Science Shows How to Break the Cycles of Worry and Fear to Heal Your Mind by Judson Brewer, MD, PhD
📘 The Joy of Movement: How exercise helps us find happiness, hope, connection, and courage by Kelly McGonigal, PhD
📘 The Amen Effect: Ancient Wisdom to Mend Our Broken Hearts and World by Sharon Brous
📘 The Complete Book of Pickleball: The Ultimate Training Guide for Passionate Players of All Levels by Kurt Brungardt, Brett Brungardt and Mike Brungardt
📘 Emotional Agility: Get Unstuck, Embrace Change, and Thrive in Work and Life by Susan David, PhD
📘 How to Disagree Better by Julia Minson
📘 Atomic Habits: An Easy & Proven Way to Build Good Habits & Break Bad Ones by James Clear

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For World Day for Cultural Diversity for Dialogue and Development, we are sharing a collection that includes books that advise on cultural differences and bridging divides.

🔗 Find the book list in the “Collections” highlight at the top of our page.

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Enjoying @juliaminson’s new release on this very warm, shorts weather Sunday. Conflict often abounds during divorce, so I’m curious to see what takeaways I can glean from her work to augment my divorce coaching.

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This week on Clear+Vivid, Alan Alda speaks with Julia Minson (@juliaminson).

Wondering why she and her husband got into frequent spats while practicing competitive ballroom dancing led her to a career in social psychology with a focus on disagreements; not just on why and how we have them, but on how to turn them from toxic to constructive.
👉 LINK IN BIO

After production costs, all proceeds of Clear+Vivid go to The Alan Alda Center for Communicating Science. Thank you for your support. 🗣️💙

#AlanAlda #Podcast #BehavorialScience #Psychology #DecisionMaking

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