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I started the last decade of my life standing at San Diego Comic-Con during the height of the Avengers era, standing behind some of the most recognizable names in pop culture. By every measure, I was somewhere people spend their entire careers trying to reach. But yet, I didn’t feel I had found what I was looking for. My time in the MCU was brilliant and painful. It robbed parts of myself and showed me who I was at my core when faced with insurmountable challenges. 

The decade that followed didn’t unfold neatly.

I became Head of Talent for Top Chef for a brief stint; spent part of the pandemic driving a Google Street View car; worked as an Assistant Production Supervisor on a major feature film coming off the biggest career goal of my life that left me feeling hollow and confused. Talent liaison in Nashville. I joined WeebCon and became the director of the green room. I found an incredible home with Artist Transport across festivals peppering between tours that both reassured me and made me question my abilities or place in this relentless pursuit for my dream.

I lived in three (almost four) cities, moved seven times, and added thirty-nine more countries to my passport. I learned reaching a life goal won’t feel the way you imagined it would.

I said goodbye to my two cats, who had been constants through so many chapters of my life. A month later, I lost my grandma. I dug through the ruins of my childhood home after 9 bitter months of forcing out a squatting family member; I naively believed the house would remain as I left it in the middle of the night 13 years prior at gunpoint from a family member. I wasn’t looking for my things, I was looking for proof that the person I used to be still existed. I fell in love deeply enough to start reshaping a future I’d always believed in and found it was never real

This decade gave me more than I ever expected and took more from me than I was ready to lose. I guess you reach the summit only to realize the real journey is figuring out who you are once you’ve arrived. I ended the decade on top of a hill at sunset (my favorite) looking down at a sold out venue on a wonderful tour I’m a part of. 

Onward to the next decade
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