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For the past year and a half, I’ve been on an inner journey rooted in curiosity, grace, and the unraveling of deep-rooted shame. I’ve laughed. I’ve cried. I’ve connected. I’ve felt rejected, and I’ve truly been rejected by many.

And yet, as I sit here today, I don’t think I’ve ever felt more loved because, for one of the first times, I can genuinely say that I am living my life.

It’s strange and beautiful to look in the mirror and feel proud of the person looking back at me, no longer the boy who grew up hating his appearance, his desires, or so much of his own experience.

I’ve been learning to befriend my inner world and to understand the difference between being nice to myself and actually being kind.

Kindness desires every part of me to experience the love, connection, and belonging I was made for, that God made all of us for.

I’ve made decisions this past year that parts of me might look back on and call mistakes. But even those experiences have been stewarded into something meaningful. They have shaped me into the more deeply mature, emotionally aware man I hope to keep becoming.

I’ve had situationships and relationships. Kisses with men I’ve regretted and connections parts of me still miss. I’ve learned that growth is rarely clean and nuance can be messy. Being a gay Christian in Lynchburg carries so much complexity. 

Continued in the comments ↓
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another clip from our @npr tiny desk submission. band was ABSOLUTELY RUTHLESS on this verse. throw a "👏🏼" in the comments for the absolute squad.

drums: @itisjust_g 
perc: @therealo.p.3 @peterson_iii 
bass: @santijimenez2106 
eg: @ryguybreadguy 
bgvs: @john.e.thomas @jalincjames @kenziemakingnoise 

full vid on youtube. link in my bio 🤍
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got the crew together a few weeks ago, and we tracked a live version of "salutations" for @npr's tiny desk contest. we had a TIME, and had to share it with you!

full video on my youtube channel. hope you enjoy 🤍

🎥: @katemitchell22 / @katemitchell.creative
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living in the goodness of God
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“at the crux of celebration and uncertainty, lies immense gratitude” 

recently, i sat with a friend to share how i had been so frustrated with myself -

 “i see Jesus doing such beautiful works in my life and bringing so many wonderful new changes - i just don’t feel i am celebrating well enough. deeply enough. loudly enough.”

gently and with a looooot of grace, she offered that maybe i was experiencing the grief of the transitions more than i realized. she was surely correct because the thought hadn’t even crossed my mind - not one bit.

it felt unlike myself to not celebrate deeply. it also felt undeserved to grieve the changes that i had prayed for. my counselor would use the word “disorienting” here. 

however, i find the most steadying place is when i grasp gratitude’s hand and follow her lead. she is a friend in every season and weathers both joy and grief with me. her pace is even - no rush, no running, no chasing one feeling over the other. she simply delights in lifting my gaze to the One who gazes back at me.
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MARCH + APRIL
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the name’s inboden. brianna inboden🤍
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back to up