Instagram story viewer> @mlgmix> Tagged
997
followers
1704
following
Audio engineer - Mixer - Tour Manager. Studio/Live/Post. In music, there is no right or wrong, only phase. (he/him)
POSTS STORIES REELS TAGGED
last week we officially wrapped 6 months of the salvation tour (until we go down under at the end of this year) !!! i really couldn’t be more proud of the team that has helped this show come to life every night, we lived we laughed we loved so hard, i cannot believe this is my job. this was a summer of many pinches to remind myself any of this is real. so grateful, thank you @katyperry for having us, and thank you all for coming to see our show. i couldn’t do this without any of you, and same goes to every member of the crew who has put their blood sweat tears into these silly little dreams 💝💋👼
140
Slayyyter - “Boiler Room” is out now on YouTube // “BOILER_PLATES” some edits and remixes from the set are up on my BandCamp // huge thanks to lil sis, kenny, matt, miles, jd, juliette, and everyone at boiler room for putting these pieces together, hope u enjoy!
48
TW: vehicle crash, trauma, PTSD…

Today is my Alive Day. On Feb 29, 2020 the tour bus I was traveling in crashed while I was asleep in my bunk. The bunk above me collapsed and came down on top me, as did my friend and tour mate who had been sleeping in it. The bus came to a stop on top of roadside crash barrels and needed to be stabilized before fire and rescue could safely board to get us out. We were trapped in the wreckage for a frighteningly long time. 

In the days immediately following the crash, I experienced a disorienting mixture of a sort of state of shock crossed with an overwhelming elation to have survived a near-death experience. But that messy joy faded quickly. Symptoms of Acute Stress Disorder (ASD) started to appear. I knew I needed help and reached out for trauma counseling right away, but there was no stopping the rising tide. The terror I experienced during the crash overloaded my nervous system to the point where my mind and body were in a constant state of trauma response. After a month of things only getting worse, I was diagnosed with Post Traumatic Stress Disorder (PTSD). 

What followed were some of the darkest and most challenging years of my life. It’s more than I can catalog here, but the worst of it was that I lost my sense of self, my sense of being. I said and did things that were hurtful to people that I loved. PTSD made me a different person, someone who’s thoughts and actions I didn’t like and didn’t want to be around. But it was me, and I was stuck with myself. I couldn’t escape my self loathing or my depression. 

The loss and grief I had to face along this journey has been overwhelming. In a span of just over 3 years, I lost my job as a globe-trotting tour manager and engineer, then I lost my mind to PTSD, I lost my Dad to his decade-long struggle with Alzheimer’s, I lost the family I was building with my partner and her daughter when our relationship crumbled in the wake of my mental health crisis, and I lost my cat Emmylou Hairball to cancer. At times it felt like more than I could bear. I’ve worked like hell to reclaim my mind and rebuild my career, but these other losses will always be. 

***CONTINUED IN COMMENTS***
146
back to up