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Local groups, weekend encounters, & online resources for widows seeking community, healing & hope through Christ 〰️
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Happy Heavenly Birthday to two of 
the most important men in my life. 

Rob, you would have been 45 today. Your first birthday in heaven. And somehow, on the very same day, I’m celebrating my brother Michael’s birthday in heaven, too.

Sometimes I sit back and think about how crazy it is that our stories were all connected long before we ever knew how they would unfold.

I remember the three of us hanging out at our hometown bars, laughing, drinking, and just living life. This was before Rob and I ever started dating. Back when I had the biggest secret crush on him, and I’m pretty sure my brother knew it the entire time.

God, what I would give to go back to one of those nights.

To sit at that bar again. To hear their voices. To watch them laugh. To be completely unaware of how much those ordinary moments would someday mean to me.

I never imagined I’d live in a world without either of them.

And now here I am, celebrating another birthday without my brother and my very first without my husband.

There’s something so heartbreaking about getting older while the people you love never get the chance to. Rob will forever be 44. Michael would of been 41 today. And I’ll spend the rest of my life wondering what all the birthdays we never got to celebrate would have looked like.

I hope in Heaven, they’re together today. I hope Michael is giving Rob a hard time, and Rob is firing right back with one of his ridiculous jokes.

I hope they’re talking about all those nights we spent together, back when life was so simple and we had absolutely no idea what was coming.

And selfishly, I hope they’re talking about me, too.

Because down here, I haven’t stopped talking about them.

I miss my brother. I miss my husband. I miss the life where I could pick up the phone and hear their voices.

I’d give anything for just one more birthday with both of them.

Happy Birthday, Michael and Rob. 🤍

How lucky was I to have been loved by both of you.

And how incredibly unfair that I have to 
spend the rest of my life missing you.

I love you both. Always.
24
Someone pinch me. I’m leaving for Madrid, Spain today.

I never imagined in a million years that picking up my phone, creating content, and sharing pieces of my life on social media would lead me here. Across the world, doing something I genuinely love, with a brand I’m so grateful to be part of.

And I wish I could explain what it feels like to be this excited about something and have your heart hurt so badly at the exact same time.

Because the one person I want to call about all of this isn’t here.

Rob was my biggest fan. He believed in me through every version of myself, even the ones where I didn’t believe in me. And I keep thinking about all the little things I’m going to miss this week. Calling him when I land. Telling him about my day. Sending him pictures. Sharing every little detail with the person who always wanted to hear them.

It’s those little things that make the big moments so damn hard.

I’m nervous. I’m excited. I’m grateful. I’m anxious about being so far from home. And somewhere in the middle of all those feelings is this overwhelming sadness that I don’t get to share any of it with my husband.

But I’m going.

Because I’ve worked hard for opportunities like this. Because I still have dreams. And because I know how much he would want me to experience every second of it.

I’m learning that being happy doesn’t mean I’m hurting any less.

I can be incredibly grateful for the life I’m still building while desperately missing the life I thought I’d have.

So here’s to Madrid. To doing things that scare me. To opportunities I never saw coming. And to figuring out how to experience some of the most beautiful moments of my life while missing someone in every single one of them.

I wish you were here to see this, Rob. 
You’d be so damn proud.💜
17
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