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epic februarch Ɨ seussical Ɨ not pictured merlin finale
22
Five years. I don’t really know how to begin to comprehend. Hitting five years in remission is the closest you can come to being cured when you have cancer. And that is today. Unreal. 
Cancer was not the first ā€œworld shatteringā€ for me and my family, and my own diagnosis was certainly not the last. There has been so much to survive, and the gritty reality of living in survival for nearly a decade has taken its toll. 
But as I eat dinner with my entire family around me, having flown in, skipped school, designed a weekend around celebration and pure time together, I am left speechless not with sorrow at what has been suffered, not anger at what has been so utterly unfair, but with gratitude for the battalion that has never stopped fighting on my behalf. 
I feel more like myself every day, I find joy in ever new places, I get to experience the life I was worried I would never get to see with such thirst for it. I get to laugh until my belly aches alongside people with sunshine souls and courageous hearts. I get to learn and mourn, play and cry, dream and scream, hope and hurt. And I truly do see every next day as a gift, the better face of a flipped coin, the better timeline. 
Cancer hurts me every day, and I will never be truly free from its scars. And, I am able to celebrate loudly today, without worry of jinxing or taunting the death I only just avoided. And it feels like the most refreshing kind of joy. 
Between this mercy and the one writing this right now, I finished high school, starred in a show, drum majored for an incredible band, started rock climbing, began to write, did cancer research, got into stanford, made incredible new friends, worked at organizations so near to my heart, shadowed oncologists, began to read again, went to my first concert, celebrated becoming an adult, voted for the first time, gone on endless adventures to beautiful places, learned more than i could ever hope, see my siblings turn into the coolest people i know, and love my parents as loudly as they will tolerate. and the small things, the jokes and meals, lawns laid on and songs hummed on a walk, dog cuddles and muffins baked, shone just as bright. i’m so so happy to be here.
15
wild year
33
The summer I got a bob and a double eyebrow slit šŸ«‚šŸ‘„
62
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