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Serena Johnson

@serenaj_1

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Life | Faith | Love |
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Hope
Certified Grief Counselor
{♥️}

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Grief & Your Relationships

I tried to hide my grief from my husband for a while after my mom died. Secretly crying in the bathroom, or in a car ride alone where he couldn’t see me so broken.

I faked being “OK” for longer than I needed to.
Faked like I wasn’t being crush by my aching heart.
Faked like I didn’t need support.
Faked like I didn’t stay up for hours at night sleepless for weeks.

I know it’s hard. I took the hard road for the first several months after my mom died because I didn’t let anyone know how much I was actually struggling. I lied about being “ok” because I wanted to appear like I had a handle on my grief- or because I didn’t think people really could handle hearing about the weight of my pain… But it was a lie. The longer I lived on the island of grief & pain- the further I found myself from comfort, support and love that I so desperately needed.

I pray that if this is you, you find the courage to let someone see you in your pain. In a safe space where you can be real with your pain and find hope, encouragement & support. It’s possible .
Big hugs to you 🫂.

#grief #griefcounselor #robinscove #griefsupport #processinggrief

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There’s a BEFORE loss Me
There’s an AFTER loss Me

I actually like who I’ve become.

Life after loss has found me more intentional with my time. With how I spend it and with whom I spend it with. Its invaluable
I am more compassionate because I have a heart that was broken that found comfort in God and now able to give that same comfort & compassion to others.
I’m less concerned about people pleasing. I’ve lost too many wonderful people to be concerned about trivial things with other people.
I’m braver & bolder than ever

Grief changes you and it’s up to you if you’ll choose life, hope, joy and love again. I’m grateful that I did 🤍✨

#grief #griefcounselor #robinscove #griefsupport #griefandloss

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How to support someone who is grieving 🫶🏽

You may mean it as a compliment when you tell someone who is grieving, “You’re so strong.” But those words may land differently than you intended.

They may hear, “I need to keep it together around you.” They may feel pressure to hide just how fragile they are because you now see them as the strong one.

What looks like strength from the outside may be someone doing their best to survive the day. They may be getting up, showing up, and taking care of what needs to be done while carrying the heaviest weight they’ve ever known.

So instead of telling them how strong they are, maybe try giving them room to be honest:

“I know you’re carrying a lot. You don’t have to hold it all together with me.”

“I’m here for you, even on the days you’re struggling.”

Sometimes the most loving thing we can do is let a grieving person know they can be seen in their pain, too. 🥹
I know you’re trying your best to support someone who is grieving and there’s so many do’s and don’ts so I have to say THANK YOU for even trying and for caring to try !!

#grief #griefcounselor #robinscove #griefsupport #griefandloss

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I want to validate the real impact of loss that is so common after the death of a loved one. I wish someone told me so that I didn’t feel so alone in the beginning days after losing my mom. So here I am sharing my story :
No one told me

That after being in the hospital room with my mom when she died that for a long time I wouldn’t :

Be able to watch shows or movies with hospital scenes
Be able to read books where a character dies
Be able to visit a hospital to see anyone who was admitted
Be able to hear the beeping of a machine without thinking about that day
Be able to …
(You fill in the blank…)

I’m sooo thankful for the grief support that I allowed myself to receive after my mom died. I didn’t realize how much I needed it. I’m glad that I was with my mom when she died but living with the sight, feelings and sounds of her last moments were quite traumatic for me for a while. I wished that there was more conversation around surviving your loved one’s death because I certainly could have used it then!

If you’ve experienced something similar, I hope you know you’re not alone. You can be grateful you were there and still need support for what you witnessed. Both can be true. 🫶🏽

Receiving support gave me space to talk about the moments I didn’t know how to carry. That’s why I’m sharing this—so someone else feels seen, knows it’s okay to ask for help, and remembers they deserve care, too.

#grief #griefcounselor #robinscove #processinggrief
#griefandloss

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If you are supporting someone who is grieving, I know it’s not always easy! So thank you for trying to be intentional and present

They need all of the love, presence, compassion, and grace that you’re able to extend- even when you feel like you don’t get it right. The world wouldn’t be the same without people like you who care. ✨🫂✨

#grief #griefcounselor #robinscove #griefsupport #griefandloss

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I want to validate the real impact of loss that is so common after the death of a loved one. I wish someone told me so that I didn’t feel so alone in the beginning days after losing my mom. So here I am sharing my story :

4 things I wish I knew would happen after my brother died suddenly

1. That I didn’t have to feel the pressure to explain his death to everyone

2. That grieving his death would be different than when I grieved my mom’s

3. That his death would make more aware of my sons’ well-beings

4. That losing a little brother would feel unfair because he wasn’t supposed to die so young

I’ve learned so much after the deaths of my mom and brother. Some hard lessons that trigger pain and some that have made me more aware, more grounded, more present and more compassionate. I’m not the same person that I was before their deaths and never will be . Yet I love who I have become … but loathe the reasons by which I had to arrive at my “new self”.

Grateful for Gods redemption for broken hearts. 😮‍💨🫶🏽

Big hugs to you all who are grieving a loss. You don’t have to do this alone. We can do this together

#grief #griefcounselor #robinscove #griefsupport #processinggrief

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My mom died suddenly seven years ago.

I want to validate the real impact of loss that is so common after the death of a loved one. I wish someone told me so that I didn’t feel so alone in the beginning days after losing my mom. So here I am sharing my story :

I also wonder if I knew she would die suddenly if I would have spent her last few hours differently.

Do you ever think about your last moments with your loved one?🕊️

Would I have let her go peacefully by holding her hand singing to her and giving her my final farewells?
Would I have told her everything I wanted her to hear and told her it was OK for her to go?
Would those moments have been spent maybe with more peace in my heart versus wrestling for her to stay?
Would I have instead of chose to sing her favorite song read her favorite Bible verses and have my sons come into the room to say bye to her as well?

I don’t regret how I spent my last moments with her because I didn’t want her to die, and I was shocked about the heart attack as it wasn’t expected so I contended for her to stay in every single way in that hospital room! 💔🙏🏽 I fought for her with all my heart.
No regrets. That was my love on display for her.
Just thoughts about what I would have done differently if I knew. I know I can’t go back to change those moments so instead, I choose to let my heart remain in a place of peace and gratitude that I still was there alongside of her.
Big hugs to anyone who has watched your loved one die or had to say goodbye to them before hand. We love and don’t want to let go, so it’s not easy to. Lots of love and prayers for you today ✨

#grief #griefcounselor #robinscove #griefsupport #griefandloss

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4 things I wish I knew I would HAVE to do right after my mom died 🥹🤍

I would have to help plan a funeral ( I mean we were all still just in shock that she died). This part felt BRUTALLY unfair

I would have to meet and greet with family members sharing the same story 10 different ways. And then take pictures & have small talk like everything was normal. BRUTALLY draining

I would have to come home to her room and still see her perfume, hair brush, comb & Bobby pins on her dresser just like she left them. BRUTUALLY unreal

I would have to figure out if I now say “My mom IS or My mom WAS?!” BRUTALLY sucks

This is why I say “BE KIND🫶🏽” to someone who is grieving. You have no idea what their grieving minds are enduring or having to sort through with so many new realities they are grappling with. I share my story because I know it’s easy to look at someone who is grieving and think they’re isolating because they’re being difficult - or Distant and quiet because they simply don’t want to face reality. Well Guess what ?!- their reality is HARSH!
Let them take their time to catch their breath and gauge their world. But please don’t let them do it alone. Send your love and your presence along with your condolences. They really need to know they’re not alone in a world that feels upside down and void. ✨

Big hugs to those of you navigating loss of a loved one. Hugs 🫂 you don’t have to do it alone. We can do it together.

#grief #griefcounselor #robinscove #griefsupport #processinggrief

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🤍✨
I wore my mom’s earrings today & it made me smile. I love wearing her jewelry. I found them in her jewelry box as my sister and I looked through her things the week after she died. I initially cried looking at all of the items I knew she would never get to wear again.

But I’m grateful I have some of her items like pajamas, her wedding ring, some jewelry , her hair scarf, her old hair rollers (😆yes my mom was old school and rolled her hair up nightly !)
~ Just because wearing her things makes me think of her in beautiful ways.
She was quite a gem… 💎

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A hand written note of my grief I wrote 7 years ago📝

I found a note I wrote the week after my mom died. Just a few raw random thoughts I needed somewhere to put. No perfect words. No deep revelation. Just grief, heartache, and me trying to make sense of a life that suddenly felt different. I didn’t know how to explain what I was feeling to anyone so I kept it to myself. Just me, my thoughts and these slits of paper I would write on. I tucked them away years ago in a box and didn’t expect to come across them again, but I’m glad I did.

I know many people find journaling very exhausting because of the amount of effort it can take to write while also thinking, processing, and grieving. And I get that.

I have tons of sticky notes and random pieces of paper just like this one where I simply jotted down whatever was on my mind just to get it off my chest—and I found it very therapeutic.

Journaling doesn’t have to be pages and pages. Sometimes it’s a sentence. A question. A feeling. A few words scribbled on a sticky note.

There’s no right way to get what’s in your heart out. Sometimes you just need somewhere safe to put it. 🤍

Big hugs to you who are grieving. You don’t have to do this alone. We can do it together. 🫂

#grief #griefcounselor #robinscove #griefsupport #griefandloss

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4 things I WISH I KNEW after my mom died!

• Seeing other moms & daughters may trigger sadness but it’s totally normally

• You’ll question if you’ll mother your children well without your mom but with grace & compassion you’ll do just fine

• Mother’s Day may carry a new meaning from here on out

• People will have unrealistic timelines of your grief but you don’t have to make that your problem

And maybe the biggest thing I wish I knew is that missing your mom doesn’t mean you aren’t healing. You’re learning how to live a life that still holds her love, even when it can no longer hold her physical presence. 🤍

Give yourself permission to grieve in your own way, at your own pace, for as long as you need to.

There is no expiration date on missing your loved one.
Big hugs to you!

#grief #griefcounselor #robinscove #griefsupport #griefandloss

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Grief doesn’t always “look” like sadness.

You see smiles, laughter, “normalcy,” outings being had, schedules being kept and life being lived, but what you don’t see is how someone who is grieving still yet grieves the moments they wish their person were in.

The random moments you would have called your person to tell them about your long day. The birthday party you’re planning that you wish they could attend. The laughter from inside jokes that only the two of you knew.

You can be genuinely laughing, dancing, enjoying life and making new memories—and somewhere in the middle of all that joy, still wish you could call your person. Still wish you could tell them what’s happening in your life. Still imagine what they would say, how they would respond, or how much you wish they could be there to experience it with you.

And those moments don’t cancel each other out.

You can laugh and still miss them.
You can dance and still grieve them.
You can be grateful for the life you’re living while wishing they were here to live parts of it with you.

Maybe that’s one of the things grief teaches you: moving forward doesn’t mean leaving them behind. Sometimes it simply means learning how to carry their absence into a life that is still worth living, laughing, dancing, celebrating and loving.

So when you find yourself smiling again, laughing again, dancing again or simply enjoying life again, don’t feel guilty for it—and don’t mistake those moments of joy for the absence of grief.

You’re allowed to experience both.

Because sometimes joy and grief are dancing in the very same room. 🤍

#grief #griefcounselor #robinscove #griefsupport #griefandloss

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