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Who should Mark Nawaqanitawase play for at next year’s Men’s Rugby World Cup?

If avoiding a hiding is a big factor, I’ve done some research… Between 8 October 2023 (last time Mark played for the Wallabies) and 23 October 2026, their average losing margins were:

𝗔𝘂𝘀𝘁𝗿𝗮𝗹𝗶𝗮: 14.6 points (21 defeats in 38 Tests) 𝗙𝗶𝗷𝗶: 21.8 points (12 defeats in 26 Tests) 𝗜𝘁𝗮𝗹𝘆: 22.6 points (18 defeats in 30 Tests)

🎥: @goodbadrugby

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Lime has been forced to clarify that its rental bikes are “not for jousting”, after two blokes in London discovered you can bring back medieval sport without the ongoing expense of owning a horse.

Hundreds gathered in London Fields to watch armoured competitors charge at each other on the bright green bikes, in a significant breakthrough for men who’ve been told they need to do something other than go to the pub.

The company’s warning disappointed spectator Dan, 31, who felt Lime had failed to appreciate its contribution to making the sport more accessible.

“Back in the day you needed land, a horse and patents of nobility to compete,” he said.

“Now you just need the app.”

While the company maintains its bikes are intended for transport, spectators believe it has accidentally made the strongest possible case for bringing jousting back. Somewhere up in heaven, Heath Ledger is looking down, smiling.

A Knight’s Tale finally got a sequel.

And this horse has Bluetooth.

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If Matt Burke carving up the All Blacks in 1996 to a bit of Creed doesn’t get you up for the Bledisloe this arvo, nothing will.

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Wally Lewis provided a timely reminder in 2017 that elite players never lose their ability to spot a gap.

During a Footy Show segment nearly 10 years ago, Allana Ferguson’s announcement that she would deliver her next line “with no teeth” presented the Queensland legend with an opportunity he evidently felt would be disrespectful to ignore.

“It always feels better that way,” Lewis replied.

Rugby league fan Ian, watching the clip for the 400th time, said it was vintage Wally.

“That’s vision,” he explained, turning his phone towards a mate who had also seen it 400 times.

“He’s seen the opening, backed himself and gone straight through.”

Ian has since forwarded the footage to three group chats, each accompanied by the same two-word analysis.

“The King.”

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Mark Zuckerberg has discovered a significant flaw in his latest attempt to be a bloke. Sometimes you have to swallow the beer.

Appearing on a podcast with a Guinness in front of him, the Meta boss briefly looked as though he was trying to find the option to decline cookies.

Unfortunately, the pint had already been ordered and the cameras were rolling, leaving him with no socially acceptable way to ask if he could see the cocktail menu.

The resulting mouthful was held for several seconds while his face worked through the implications of having two hours of interview and almost an entire pint remaining.

In this publication’s assessment, Zuckerberg had reached the familiar stage of drinking Guinness where you announce that it’s “actually quite smooth” while quietly hoping someone knocks yours over.

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The last time the Wallabies beat the All Blacks at Eden Park was 1986.

Can we finally break the curse this weekend? 😬

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A local bloke has revised his position on helmets approximately halfway through a Lime scooter jump.

Previously considered “a bit unnecessary for a short trip”, the protective equipment became considerably more appealing once the scooter stopped coming with him.

The scooter and its rider announced separate travel plans shortly after encountering a pile of gravel, with the scooter remaining near the obstacle and the bloke continuing towards his destination horizontally.

“Yeah, probably chuck one on next time,” said the bloke in a statement issued between take-off and landing.

🎥 instagram.com/catfishvsthug

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Introducing an Englishman to the Ben Ross v Wendell Sailor arm wrestle. Australian television was a different.

Do you remember watching this live?

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Family Feud contestant asked to name body part beginning with ‘T’ confirms he’s never been an ass man.

With teeth, toes and tongue all available, Eric instead went with “titties”.

The answer was delivered with the quiet confidence of a man who had finally been asked something relevant to his area of expertise, confirming he’s a 𝘮𝘰𝘵𝘰𝘳𝘣𝘰𝘢𝘵𝘪𝘯𝘨 𝘴𝘰𝘯 𝘰𝘧 𝘢 𝘣*𝘵𝘤𝘩.

Host Steve Harvey required a moment to process the response. In hindsight, asking for a body part beginning with B probably wouldn’t have changed much.

While some viewers might question his response, at no point was Eric asked to be a gentleman. Just to name a body part.

🎥 www.instagram.com/familyfeud

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Texas footballer Colin Simmons has discovered that violently tackling a bloke is perfectly acceptable, but following it up with an imaginary piss is where civilised society draws the line.

After sacking Tennessee’s quarterback, Simmons celebrated by pretending to relieve himself on the field, prompting officials to intervene before any further fictional damage could be done to the grass.

Ground staff are expected to spend the week doing absolutely nothing about it.

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𝐓𝐡𝐞 𝐩𝐢𝐜𝐤𝐬 𝐚𝐫𝐞 𝐢𝐧 👀 who drafted the better team in the first annual Vodka Soda & Draft? Conor or Jimmy?

Let us know in the comments…

#ad #supportlocal #grabtheandcan

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𝐖𝐚𝐭𝐞𝐫𝐦𝐞𝐥𝐨𝐧 or 𝐋𝐞𝐦𝐨𝐧𝐚𝐝𝐞? Who had the better first pick? 🍉🍋

The @vodkasodaand Draft got personal pretty quickly… Conor wasn’t happy when Jimmy stole the Espresso Martini with pick #3.

Whatever you call it, grab the & can. #ad #supportlocal

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