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i didn’t think i’d ever be able to watch these videos again. i thought i’d bury them deep and never let myself revisit those moments.

but i can’t. because our last moments with Milo replay in my head 24/7, but especially…

when we watch a beautiful sunset
when we’re having a good day
when we get good news
when we celebrate a milestone
when life finally starts falling into place

the grief hits even harder because you should still be here for all of it.

instead, these videos are my last memories of you. proof that you were here and that you were loved. proof of the worst goodbye we’ve ever had to say.

i still wish we could change everything. i still wish we could go back. i still wish it had been me instead.

but i’m okay with letting myself feel the hurt and the pain. because after everything you endured, carrying some of this grief with me feels like the very least i can do for you.

i’m so sorry, Milo. you deserved so much better 🤍

#petloss #souldog #rainbowbridge #pug #grief

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the very next day, i would lose him in the most tragic and brutal way imaginable. 💔

#pug #petloss #grief #souldog #rainbowbridge

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it’s been 4 months and the pain is less now. but somehow, a different kind of pain and guilt has found its way in.

i find myself constantly reminding myself that you were real. that you were here. that you were a part of my life for 11 years. that you loved me and i loved you. that you were taken from me so tragically and brutally.

sometimes i have to let myself go back to those painful memories just to feel close to you again. because as the days pass, you somehow feel more distant. and that scares me.

i don’t want the memories to fade. i don’t want you to feel like a lifetime ago. i don’t want my brain to get so used to you not being here that it starts to feel like you were never here at all.

so i look for signs. i look for little pieces of you everywhere. and when something reminds me of you, i let myself feel it, even when it hurts.

because the pain is proof that you were real.
that you were here.
that you were mine.
and that i was lucky enough to love you.
🤍

#pug #petloss #grief #souldog #rainbowbridge

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🤍🕊️🐾

#pug #petloss #grief #souldog #rainbowbridge

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forever together, just looks different now 🤍

#petloss #grief #souldog #rainbowbridge #pug

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the hardest part of grief isn’t always missing the milestones. it’s missing the version of life that once felt so ordinary.
the little routines.
the quiet companionship.
the moments you never thought to memorize because you believed there would always be another tomorrow.
i’d give anything for just one more ordinary day with you.

#griefjourney #petloss #griefsupport #puglove #forevermissed

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Heute vor einem Monat musste ich meinen geliebten Merlin gehen lassen.🐾🪽

16 Jahre lang war er an meiner Seite – mein treuer Begleiter, mein Seelenhund, mein bester Freund und ein Teil meines Herzens. Es gibt keinen Tag, an dem ich ihn nicht vermisse. Sein Blick, seine Nähe und die vielen kleinen Momente, die unser gemeinsames Leben so besonders gemacht haben, fehlen mir jeden Tag.

Der Schmerz ist noch immer da, aber genauso auch die Dankbarkeit. Dankbar für 16 wundervolle Jahre voller Liebe, Vertrauen und unvergesslicher Erinnerungen.

Merlin war ein Kämpfer. Er hat mir immer wieder gezeigt, was Stärke, Mut und Lebenswille bedeuten. Bis zum Schluss hat er nie aufgegeben und jeden einzelnen Tag mit so viel Liebe gelebt.

Genau das möchte ich jetzt auch tun. Für dich, mein Merlin, werde ich weiterkämpfen – auch an den Tagen, an denen es besonders schwer ist. Du hast mir so viel gegeben und so viel beigebracht. Deine Stärke wird mich für immer begleiten.

Merlin, du wirst für immer einen festen Platz in meinem Herzen haben. Ich liebe dich unendlich und werde dich niemals vergessen. Du fehlst jeden einzelnen Tag.

Bis wir uns eines Tages wiedersehen. 🌈🐾❤️

#petloss #petlosshurts #seelenhund #dogloss
#dufehlst

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how can a love this big become something so small?

we brought you home 3 months ago and it still hurts just as deeply

if you don’t understand why i’m still grieving my soul dog, i hope you never have to

🤍🐾 #petloss #rainbowbridge🌈 #griefdiaries #pug #souldog

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i didn’t realize how much life you filled in our home until i started noticing all the places you’re no longer in 💔

#grief #souldog #petloss #rainbowbridge #pug

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i didn’t know the last clip would be the last funny video i have of you 😔 it was the last time i got to see you like this 💔 silly, happy, you 🐾 i’ll keep this version of you with me forever 🤍

#grief #souldog #petloss #rainbowbridge #pug

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and i’ll keep sharing you with the world forever

#grief #souldog #petloss #rainbowbridge #pug

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