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I have a whole load of paintings on a wall at the Allen Hall Gallery in Glandford, Norfolk. They’re for sale of course - we don’t believe in the hard sell but I would like to pay the bills next month! People are always saying there’s a shit ton of rich people in North Norfolk - you used to be able to spot them because they drove Range Rovers, said ‘yah’ instead of yes and the women wore those chemo headscarves even though their health was usually exquisitely, beautifully and utterly perfect. The menfolk wore tweed in a sort of pre-post-modern ironic affectation. Uniforms change and we all look the same now, though some of us look more elegantly scruffy than others. Anyway…I’d like to seduce some of these people into cluttering their homes with my paintings. At a price of course. I’ll make an exception to the hard sell rule for them and they’ll fucking love it! And I’ll donate some of the revenue to the food bank, save them a job.
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