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wivesofthearmedforces

@wivesofthearmedforces

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Milso community • deployment advice • PCS tips
Connecting milsos IRL & online 🇺🇸
Founded by @jenandkirst_ 🫶🏻

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Words like these are why our ovens stay preheated...

Thank you for trusting us to send a little love to your deployed soldier. Our Crumbs are honored to do it!

Have a deployed loved one? Let us send them a box, free.

Request a box at the link in our bio 🍪

#TreatTheTroops #Crumbs

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#USAAPARTNER | Turns out you can feel nostalgic for a place you’ve never been!!🥹🏈⚡️

My first Navy vs. Air Force game and I finally got to see what my husband has been telling me about USAFA Game Days for the last 13 years.

Thank you @USAA for bringing us back together for this one💙

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#USAAPartner
PART 1: Thirteen years in the making 🥹

The Air Force Academy has been part of our family’s story since my husband and I were dating, so getting to finally be back with all four of our kids in tow at the place they’ve heard SO much about felt a little bit like bringing the stories to life.

And let me tell you, it lived up to the hype!!!

Thank you @USAA for bringing our family together for a weekend that felt incredibly full circle 🤍

Part 2, Navy vs Air Force Game Day, is next 👀🏈⚡️

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If you're adding a reminder to shower to your to-do list and it's only Tuesday, might as well do future you a favor and plan on takeout for dinner on Friday😘

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Save this or send it to a friend who is experiencing a deployment right now 🫶🏻🇺🇸

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After my oldest turned 2, I said I would never leave our home station during a deployment. I wanted to keep to our regular routine. I thought that would be best for her to stay in her space when one half of her world was gone.

And while that still may be true during the school year, with this summer deployment, I’m looking at it through a whole new lens.

Being at my parents for the last month with my 4 kids was unexpected with the prolonged activation of the reserves. But instead of just “it’s nice to have help with the kids”, I’m leaning into the slower pace of life + the privilege of not having the entire weight of the world on my shoulders and using this deployment season to heal from years of burying my head in the sand to simply get through it.

The kids may be out of their normal space but they have a more whole + healthy mom because of it and I’d choose that every time.

I know it’s not for everyone though, it’s taken a good amount of hard conversations to make this work. What do you think? Would you ever choose to stay with family long term during a deployment?

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Resentment can be one of the hardest feelings to talk about in a military marriage… but it’s also one of the most common.

Comment “grow” and we’ll send you a resource right to your DMs to help you navigate resentment in your military relationship🫶🏼

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Being strong and independent is often seen as a badge of honor as a milso, but you don’t have to suffer in silence. Asking for help, while solo parenting or not, can sometimes be easier said than done, but in the end it makes a huge impact.

Comment “listen” to hear us share how our own hyper-independence can sometimes leave us feeling lonely and isolated. And how we shut down the guilt of feeling like a burden when it comes to asking for help.

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You are allowed to protect sensitive information and ask for support. You’re allowed to redirect conversations. You’re allowed to say less. You’re allowed to need more.

If you want more practical OPSEC tips + ready-to-use scripts for real-life scenarios, comment “support” below and we’ll send you the full blog post 🫶🏼

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The general vibe we are overwhelmingly getting from our community is…well…feeling overwhelmed. And boy, do we get that too.

If you are anything like us, hearing how other people have worked through the reality that you are facing today is so helpful to get us out of our anxiety spirals and into a constructive brainstorm!

If you have been in this season or are in it currently, what have you done to help you feel like you can breathe a little easier despite all the unknowns and complications of military life?

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You didn't want a new friend, but God knew you needed one🥹

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The military runs on an unwritten pact: you can complain about the machine, but you cannot admit the machine is crushing you.

So we complain about the safe friction.

We joke about TRICARE, the endless moves, the administrative backlogs, the gear failures, the flight schedules, and deployment dates written in pencil.

We talk about the logistics because it’s safe. Safe complaints keep the room comfortable.

What nobody says out loud—whether standing at the flight line, sitting at a kitchen table, or trying to adapt to a civilian cubicle after hanging up the uniform—is that we are drowning.

We don’t admit the quiet terror of watching an identity get completely hollowed out.

We don’t talk about the strain of running an entire life on a severed nervous system.

We don’t talk about the creeping distance between the people who live this life and the civilians who look on from the outside.

In this culture, admitting you are breaking is treated like an institutional liability or a failure of character.

So the system slaps a gold star on our grit, calls it “resilience,” and expects everyone to keep marching.

It’s time to stop treating honesty like a threat to morale.

My new essay, “The Things We Don’t Say at Coffee,” is live with Wives of the Armed Forces.

Full piece is linked in my bio.

What’s the quiet truth you usually swallow when someone asks how you're really doing?

#MilitaryCulture #CivilMilitaryDivide #Veterans #ActiveDuty #MilitarySpouse

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