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“I never found the companion that was so companionable as solitude.” - hdt 

Yesterday I set out to go ski a big line overnight. I’ve been trying to learn how to be alone more. Something I’ve never been any good at but was seemingly better at during the age of 18-19. I spent 19-24 in a relationship and feel that I turned being alone into one of my greatest fears. 

What I’m learning now is that it’s not so much having to do everything alone, or forcing it upon myself when it doesn’t make sense. But knowing when it’s appropriate and when it’s not. 

I ended up turning around today because I had this sense of impending doom, like I wasn’t supposed to be skiing this line alone, and in reality I wanted to be out there with someone else, but couldn’t find a partner and wanted to give it a shot anyway. I’m glad I turned around because another thing I’ve learned this season is that I’ve had this feeling come up before, and usually when it does, I’m not skiing for the right reasons. 

Last week I got to ski Shasta with my friends @yennakane and @gcunning_gram 
I had insisted on going alone because I felt like I was going to be too slow and for some journey of self discovery blah blah blah. They insisted I go with them, and I’m glad I listened. I think I got a journey of self discovery more so the day I spent skiing with them than I did today. 

I think I’ll be putting my skis away for now.
10
Can’t let go and you can’t hold on. Can’t go back and you can stand still.
@yennakane
14
It’s been a wild ride with a ton of uncertainty at every turn, never knowing if the next thing would work.

Each experience built upon the last and opened doors I never imagined. 

Especially guiding, which gave me so many chances to film in hard to reach places in crap weather 🌧️❄️
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