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Tether: The Mental Load App

@tether.mentalload

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The Mental Load App.
Make the invisible, visible.
Stop arguing about who does more. Find out.
Founded by Ash BG: @youwanted.this

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Scientists call it cognitive domestic labour.

It’s the planning, anticipating, monitoring, and coordinating that has to happen before any task can be executed.

And new research confirms: the division of cognitive domestic labour is even more unequal than the division of physical household tasks.

Source: Weeks, Kowalewska & Ruppanner, Socius, 2025 by @tether.mentalload

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2 months ago

I wasn’t expecting to find myself on the front page of @newscomauhq today talking about @tether.mentalload, but here we are! It was so great to chat all about the mental load and why men should stop “helping” the house in the wake of Tuesday’s Census question about unpaid labour. by @tether.mentalload

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2 months ago

Have you tried to explain the mental load but couldn’t get through to the other person? This will help. by @tether.mentalload

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2 months ago

You don’t need to communicate better. You just need both partners to see the full picture. The @tether.mentalload is now available on the App Store. Comment TETHER and I’ll send you the link to download it. by @tether.mentalload

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2 months ago

Tether 2.0 is now live and it features a solo version as well as the Unpaid Labour Invoice, created in collaboration with @the_equitable_home by @tether.mentalload

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3 months ago

🎉 EXCITING UPDATE 🎉

I’m Ash BG and I built Tether: The Mental Load App.

I’ve had the most wonderful feedback since releasing the app and I’m committed to always improving it. If I put something out into the world, I want it to genuinely change lives.

While it was originally a couples app, I started to realise how important it was that men and women would be able to use the app alone if they needed to. So we’ve just released a Solo version. Log and track everything, use it as a brain dump, delegate… whatever you need to get it out of your head so you can get a good nights sleep.

Tether, version 2.0 is available on the App Store now. by @tether.mentalload

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3 months ago

Tether for your workplace is now available.

Get in touch to be part of our pilot program. by @tether.mentalload

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3 months ago

I don’t know who needs to hear this, but he is not bad at remembering. He is good at not having to.

Because in most households the bins, the school forms, the dentist appointments, the birthday presents, and approximately four hundred other recurring tasks have quietly become her job. Not because she asked for them. But because she noticed them first and nobody else did.

And she has been reminding him ever since.

You should not have to remind him. And now you do not have to.

@tether.mentalload sends the reminders so you do not have to. Both partners log their domains, set up recurring tasks, and the app holds him accountable — not you. Week by week, with prompts that taper as the habits form, until Thursday bin night is simply something he does. Without being asked. Without a nudge. Without you managing his contribution on top of everything else you are already managing.

Not because you nagged him into it.

Because the system required it of him long enough that it became automatic.

Download now — link in bio.

The bin is not the point. The point is that you should never have had to be his reminder in the first place. by @tether.mentalload

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3 months ago

The mental load is real. And now, finally, there is a solution.

Download Tether today. Link in bio. by @tether.mentalload

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3 months ago

Making everything exactly 50/50 is not the goal. And it’s not realistic for most couples.

The goal is for nobody to be drowning while the other person watches from the shore.

The goal is for both people in a partnership to feel like they are contributing something real and irreplaceable. For neither person to be disappearing under the weight of it. For the invisible work to be seen, acknowledged, and shared. Not necessarily equally in volume, but equally in value.

50/50 is a distraction. It gives people something to argue about instead of something to fix. It turns a conversation about equity into a scorekeeping exercise. It lets men say “but I do the bins and the lawns” and call it done.

What we actually want is simpler and harder than 50/50.

We want her to go to bed without running through tomorrow in her head alone.

We want him to notice the thing that needs doing before she tells him.

We want both of them to feel like they are in it together, rather than one of them being in it and the other occasionally helping.

We want the load to be visible. To both of them. At the same time.

That is it. That is the whole thing.

Not a spreadsheet. Not a perfectly divided chore chart. Just two people who can both see what needs carrying, and who reach for it without being asked. by @tether.mentalload

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3 months ago

Does your partner help at home but you still feel like you’re drowning? This is why. by @tether.mentalload

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3 months ago

The shift came when I stopped trying to get him to do tasks better and started transferring entire domains to him completely. Not “Can you do the laundry this week” but “Laundry is yours. Forever. You notice it, you manage it, you own it. I am not involved.”

And then I stopped rescuing him when he dropped things. I let the consequences land. I stayed out of it.

It was the hardest thing I have ever done. Harder than building an app, which I also did.

Speaking of which.

Tether is the tool I wish I had when I was in the worst of it. It makes the invisible labour in your household visible to both partners, with neutral data, no arguments required. Both partners log independently for three days. After three days you get your Partnership Score. Not her word against his. Just what actually happened.

Then comes the plan. Domain ownership, recurring tasks, a weekly check-in that builds he’ll you both build new habits until they become automatic.

No more micromanaging. No more circular arguments. Just data, a plan, and two people finally looking at the same reality at the same time.

Download Tether now. Link in bio. by @tether.mentalload

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3 months ago