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Ash BG | You Wanted This

@youwanted.this

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✍️ Writer @youwanted.this
📱 Founder of @tether.mentalload
Writing about the systems failing women: at home, at work, and everywhere in between.

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Men needed no help with this. by @youwanted.this

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14 hours ago

Do you think pepper spray should be legal? Why should it be on women to find a solution to gendered violence?

When we talk about domestic violence, we call it a women’s issue. When we talk about the mental load, we call it a women’s issue. When we talk about the gender pay gap, sexual assault on campuses, coercive control, the motherhood penalty… Women’s issues. Women’s issues. Women’s issues.

But look at who is committing the violence? Look at who is refusing to carry the mental load. Look at who is running the institutions that underpay women, who is sending messages in group chats, who is strangling their partners, who is calling women whores on live television, who is promising they are “one of the good ones” while their behaviour shows anything but.

These are not women’s issues. They are men’s behaviour. That’s why they cannot be fixed by just women alone. It’s time for men to step up. Women shouldn’t need pepper spray. We shouldn’t even be having this discussion. by @youwanted.this

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3 days ago

Why would you choose the bear? by @youwanted.this

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4 days ago

TRIGGER WARNING: This post contains detailed descriptions of domestic violence, sexual assault, murder and animal cruelty.

Molly Ticehurst did everything we tell women to do. And she died anyway. Now her killer thinks he deserves a more lenient sentence. His original sentence was 35 years but he was given a 20% discount for a guilty plea. Why should a man who murdered a woman in an act of premeditated revenge be entitled to any discount at all? And why does he believe he is entitled to further leniency?

At this rate, Billings could walk free in 2044, at 49 years old. He should not be eligible for any parole at all. by @youwanted.this

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5 days ago

There have been so many articles and essays written since the Cornell case has been re-opened by the DA. But what I can’t stop thinking about is how did we create a culture where men see an unconscious woman as an opportunity? And how did none of the other men step in and do something about it?

This is an excerpt from my latest Substack essay. Click the link in bio to read the full post. by @youwanted.this

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5 days ago

When I first watched this clip, my jaw hit the floor. The audacity of a man to stand up on stage and call women whores on live television. He did it because he knew he could. That is the worst part. by @youwanted.this

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6 days ago

Why don’t women report? This week Cornell’s Jane Doe spent the day taping paper over the windows of her parents’ home. The night before, armed police had surrounded the house after someone called 911 and reported that people were being slaughtered inside. Her boyfriend, her brother and her father had guns pointed at them. She is the woman who came forward. This is what that cost her. by @youwanted.this

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7 days ago

This is an excerpt from my latest Substack essay. Comment ESSAY and I’ll send you the full post. by @youwanted.this

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9 days ago

To all the men in my comments claiming I’m starting a gender war. I’m not. I just want women to feel safe. That is all. by @youwanted.this

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9 days ago

The ABC confirmed today that Snezana’s daughter Eve made the Triple Zero call to police to report the incident. No woman, or daughter should have to go through this. My heart is with Snezana and her family. She built a life and a public identity around this relationship. She is navigating something unimaginably hard in public with cameras outside the courthouse. She does not need our speculation. She does not need our pity. She does not need us deciding what she should do next. She needs space to make her own decisions with whatever support she has around her. And she needs a justice system that takes what happened to her seriously. by @youwanted.this

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9 days ago

Not just raising my son to not be one of the Cornell 7, but to not be one of the 57 who stood by and did nothing. by @youwanted.this

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17 days ago

Here’s what I can’t get my head around with the Cornell atrocities. Why do we live in a world where the idea of having sex with a woman who is incapacitated, in front of your friends, even appeals to you?How have we, as a society, created a world where men get pleasure out of women in pain? Yes, as everybody has rightly said, all of those men should be punished for their involvement in this atrocity, even the ones who stood by and did nothing. But we need to do more. We need to stop the culture that even positioned this situation as remotely appealing. by @youwanted.this

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19 days ago