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The Death Deck

@thedeathdeck

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The Death Deck LLC creates lively games to make death conversations easier. Account run by Hospice Social Worker CEO/Owner, Lisa Pahl

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The Dementia Deck is our newest tool to facilitate conversations on end-of-life planning.

The Dementia Deck opens up dialogue about the kind of care you want - and what matters most — if you are living with dementia.

Available now for Pre-Order! by @thedeathdeck

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13

a year ago

Today’s question comes from The Death Deck. Your spouse or significant other dies. Do you read their journals and emails? How about social media messages and texts?

Have you ever talked about this with your significant other? Do both of you feel the same? How do you feel about privacy in general after death? by @thedeathdeck

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2 years ago

Today’s question is from The E•O•L (End-of-Life) Deck.

What are your thoughts on stopping eating and drinking as a way to hasten your death? Is this something that you would consider?

If medical aid in dying was (or is) legal in your state, would you still choose VSED?
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#thedeathdeck #theeoldeck #vsed #endoflifeoptions #endoflifeplanning #deathdoula #palliativecare #hospice by @thedeathdeck

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a year ago

A card game…about DEATH?! 😳

Yep. And I actually think it’s pretty brilliant.

The Death Deck, The End of Life Deck and The Dementia Deck were created to help us start conversations most of us would rather avoid…until suddenly we HAVE to have them.

Things like what we want at the end of life, what matters to us, and what we hope our families know BEFORE they have to make difficult decisions for us.

I talked with Lisa Pahl, LCSW, hospice social worker and co-creator of @thedeathdeck about how a game can make some pretty uncomfortable conversations a whole lot easier. 🩷

🎧 Listen to Episode 156 of Desperately Seeking Senior Living: Hospice Conversations and Games to Spark Discussion.

Because talking about death doesn’t have to be depressing. Sometimes it can actually make the hard stuff a little more doable.

Would YOU play a game about death? 👇

#caregiver #caregivers #familycaregiver #endoflife #endoflifecare by @thedeathdeck

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8 hours ago

Individuals living with dementia certainly experience losses, as do the family members who care for them.

These losses are often significant and progressive.
It is so hard to watch a person you care for lose capabilities.

AND

When we shift from treating a disease to understanding a person,

Personhood remains.

Humanity remains.

Relationships remain.

Opportunities for connection remain.

Communication (though changing) remains.

We can also maintain humanity and promote empowerment for ourselves and our family members, who may be living with dementia in the future, by having conversations now about future care preferences.

What are your thoughts? How does this resonate with your experience caring for someone living with dementia? by @thedeathdeck

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5

a day ago

Death is an achievement.

This phrase has popped up in my head so many times since the spouse of a hospice patient declared this years ago.

She and her husband were in their mid 80's and felt that they had lived full lives.

Sometimes, I find myself nodding along to this sentiment- other times I'm vehemently opposing this concept (often related to the timeliness or circumstances of the death).

The meaning of death, and life, is truly unique to each person.

How would you answer The Death Deck question, "Death is_____"? by @thedeathdeck

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3 days ago

Hospice and palliative care programs focus on treating the whole person. Through symptom management, education, and support, a person’s physical, emotional, mental, and spiritual needs are the priority.

In practicality, however, the symptoms that get the most attention are physical. This makes intuitive sense as when someone is having severe pain or nausea, we aren’t really able to address any of the other needs until this is addressed.

Maslow’s Hierarchy of Needs and all that.

And, some people experience symptoms when living with serious illness that aren’t quite as “easy” to address through a pill or treatment.

This recent article by Roman and Bardic examines existential suffering and what specifically happens (or does not happen) to support hospice and palliative care patients in long-term care facilities.

Within long-term care settings, the focus is often organized around safety, monitoring, symptoms control, medication, hygiene and nutrition.

However, when we don’t address the existential suffering that many people experience with serious illness, patients report feeling unseen, powerless and alone.

While spiritual care providers and social workers help with addressing existential suffering within the hospice and palliative care programs, what happens during the many hours in between these visits?

Patients often report feeling lonely, afraid, forgotten, ashamed and a feeling of not knowing themselves anymore.

The article suggests that long-term facilities need to improve their “existential literacy.” There should be more attention given to a person’s dignity, values and relationships as well as the ability to identify, discuss, document and respond to signs of existential suffering.

Hospice and palliative care providers, what types of experiences with long- term care do your patients experience?

Do you work in long-term care? Do these suggestions seem realistic? by @thedeathdeck

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4 days ago

We are grieving here at The Death Deck.

Our sweet Peanut was euthanized yesterday.

We were in no way prepared to lose our five-year old kitty.

Pet loss just rips out your heart.

Share with me in the comments:

What has helped you and your furry family members cope with pet loss grief? by @thedeathdeck

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6 days ago

Your Sunday Reflection:

“By becoming deeply aware of our mortality, we intensify our experience of every aspect of life.”

-John Greene by @thedeathdeck

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7 days ago

The conversation started with a car sale on Facebook Marketplace.

Within a few minutes, we were talking about death.

I was sitting at an airport bar during a layover for a girls’ trip when the man next to me-who looked to be in his mid-60s-started chatting about which credit card he might use to pay his tab.

Then he told me about the man who bought his car.

“I just sold a car on Facebook Marketplace. The guy who bought it was widowed two months ago. He told me all about how his wife, who had cancer, spent the last few months of her life getting things in order.”

The man at the bar continued, “He said she thought of everything. He even started crying while we were talking and saying how grateful he was that she had taken care of him like that.”

I turned my chair toward this man, who had just spontaneously shared this story with me, and said,
“Wow. You must have been a bit surprised that selling your car turned into that moving of a moment.”

We introduced ourselves (his name is Dan) and kept talking.

Dan shared that he was deeply moved by the moment and ended up giving the car buyer a hug by the end of their conversation.

He then said something that caught my attention: he had never really considered what would happen if his own wife died.

“Honestly, she just can’t die before me-I need her too much.”

After acknowledging how much he loves his wife, I asked, “In what specific ways do you need her?”

He immediately went to practical things.
She pays all the bills.
She keeps track of their retirement investments.
She knows how to operate the TV.
She remembers everyone’s birthdays.
She keeps track of his health appointments.
She does all the cooking, and he can barely make hot dogs.
Let me pause here to acknowledge the load that this wife -and many women-are carrying for their spouses.
I then asked him gently, “You brought up the widower who bought the car to a stranger. I wonder why?”

He laughed awkwardly and joked that he had no plans for any wrongdoing toward his wife-but he was terrified about what would happen if she died. He doesn’t know how to navigate all of these accounts, relationships, and, in general, life.

(Continues in Substack- in comments) by @thedeathdeck

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8 days ago

Looking for a way to start some interesting conversations around death and dying? 💀

This year, we launched a new merch series called “Let’s Talk About It”. Designed by @ahhsweetdeath, this series invites conversation and is a great way to spread death awareness!

A few things to note:

💀 Most clothing is all genders so size accordingly
💀 All sizes are the same price
💀 Multiple colors for most items
💀 Items are print to order -usually arrive within 10-14
days.

Want something in a size or color not offered? Let us know at hi@thedeathdeck and we will see if we can make it happen! by @thedeathdeck

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9 days ago

"Don't wait till you're dead to have these conversations."

That's the message from one of the Death Deck cards — and I haven't stopped thinking about it.

The conversations that matter most to the people we love are often the ones we keep meaning to have. This game makes them a little easier to start.

Full review on the blog. Link in bio.

https://treulogy.com/blogs/stories-guidance/the-death-deck-review

#deathdeck #deathpositive #grief #griefsupport #deathdoula #endoflifecare #TreulogyAI taken in USA by @thedeathdeck

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10 days ago