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Rachel Rayner

@therachelrayner

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followers

197

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Your most glamourous neighbor
Burnout and creative coach @rachelraynercoaching
Facilitator of practical idealists @_salt_salon_
Social Artist

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Introducing my new coaching program, Burnout Academy!

It's a novel 6-week coaching program based on clinical psychology, my work with children, and my own journey with burnout. This program puts you in small group coaching cohorts, because healing requires connection and support.

Do you want to know what I am most proud of? I have created a tiered pricing scale so that no matter your financial situation, you can join in. I even have one full scholarship position per cohort. It's rough out there. I get it. You literally can't afford NOT to join!

Interested? DM me, click on the link in bio, or go to raynercreativecoaching.com to claim your spot. I'm so excited to work with you!

Photos by @frannyeerroo

#burnoutrecovery #burnoutcoach #exhaustion #burnedout #burnedout taken in Salt Lake City, Utah by @therachelrayner

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4

a year ago

Dream a Little Dream of Me at @churchandstateevents with @swingcollectiveslc . This was such a safe, chill, and unique place. I definitely recommend it. Come catch some jazz from 12-2 every Saturday. Musicians are welcome to sit in with the house band, @state_street_stompers , which is what I did. Very kind musicians.

Also, I'm very proud of how my singing is starting to sound, and I have @singingwithchelseastudio to thank for that. I don't take lessons often, but she always gives me so much information that I can refer back to while I am playing around and exploring my voice. She's an incredible teacher.

#slcmusician #slcmusicscene #slcsinger #slcjazz #femalejazzmusician #femalejazzsinger #hothousewest #dreamalittledreamofme taken in Church & State by @therachelrayner

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10

2 years ago

Week 5 and I'm finally having fun! I decided to get really playful with music and my cello this week. I made weird noises, tried to create nature sounds, and generally goofed around. In the process, song ideas started coming out without even trying.

I definitely think there is a place for this as well as more structured and dedicated songwriting sessions in which I try to figure things I'm stuck with. I'm definitely still figuring out my process, but I'm also learning how to access different parts of my songwriting abilities so that I can direct my work.

Even if the EP doesn't happen. I'm starting to feel like this project is already a success.

#perfectionismrecovery #songwriters #restandrecovery #playfulness #musicjourney taken in Salt Lake City, Utah by @therachelrayner

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7 days ago

One of the most useful questions to break limerant and codependent patterns is, "What qualities does this person have that I want for myself?" I have found that often I'm not drawn to the person themselves so much as the person I would become if I had those traits.

Take a look at the people you tend to be drawn to. What traits do they have in common? They say you become who you hang out with. Are you subconsciously trying to become more like them constant contact. Like you can osmosis their traits for yourself or learn how they cultivated it in themselves?

For me, I have done that with people I consider competent at an interest or endeavor we both share. Guess what? Hanging around them didn't make me more competent. It generally made me harder on myself and more neurotic. I became more judgemental toward myself and others.

I realize now that I didn't want to be with them so much as become them in certain aspects. Reframing your attraction in that way can make it far less consuming, allowing you to keep your head on straight, your boundaries firm, and your judgement of character online.

What traits are you attracted to that are actually parts of you begging to be seen and cultivated?

#selfdevelopmenttools #codependency #traumainformedcoach #traumarecovery #attraction by @therachelrayner

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13 days ago

This week I learned a technique for getting myself to practice and do things I was avoiding. The key is to add small amounts, time box it, quit when the timer goes off, and then prioritize recovering.

Recovery is everything when you are challenging yourself and coming up against your limits. More and more professional athletes talk about how fiercely they protect and plan their recovery time while training. The same goes when you are trying to build your distress tole by @therachelrayner

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17 days ago

I realized this week that in many areas of my life, I believe that if I make a mistake, I will never be rid of the consequences of it.

That belief didn't come out of nowhere. I learned it through violence when I was a four years old. Then music school solidified it in my psyche through bullying and other forms of social abuse.

If you struggle with perfectionism, it might be time for you to examine if you also learned this (FALSE) lesson. How can you give yourself safe places and situations to make mistakes and fail? If you learned this lesson from other people, then you have to set up situations for you to learn what safety feels like.

Unfortunately, only you can give that to yourself. However, you can get help from other people in this journey! It might be your responsibility, but you don't have to do it alone. Keep following me, and I'll share some of the things that I am doing to overcome it. Or, you can get one-on-one coaching sessions with me to speed the process along!

Keep going, brave soul!

#perfectionismrecovery #lifelessons #traumarecovery #traumainformedcoach #traumasurvivor taken in Salt Lake City, Utah by @therachelrayner

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21 days ago

I chose to concentrate on repairing my relationship with music this week rather than forcing songwriting. It's going to take a while for me to do that, but I did have some glimmers of it paying off this week. Instead of music always being a chore, I actually found myself taking solace in it when I was having difficulty with my mental health.

I think in any sort of relationship, whether it be with people, a hobby, or a skill, if you only ever show up when you want something, it stops giving to you. You have to give something of yourself, like time or affection, for it to give anything back.

I might not have made much surface progress on the EP this week, but I laid the foundation.

#perfectionismrecovery #songwritingprocess #songwriters #celloplayer #traumarecovery by @therachelrayner

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0

24 days ago

Dip me in formaldehyde and preserve me because I never hit my stride early in life. I realized the other day that part of why I take such good care of skin is to buy me more time in reaching dreams that are so often only attained by young, beautiful women. It eased the panic that I'm not going fast enough and the grief at the delays my PTSD causes me.

For years, I couldn't do anything music-related due to the trauma and bullying at music school. Now that I am finally able to start practicing, creating, and performing, I feel despair at how far behind my peers it has put me.

I can't describe the pain and comparison I felt watching a girl a decade younger than me who started doing and becoming successful at dreams that were very similar to mine (and then dated my boyfriend) while I was stuck on the sidelines feeling like a Ferrari with the engine brake on. That'll get in your head.

All I can hope is that the life experience I bring to my art will make it so rich that it becomes the very quality that makes it successful. That all this time I was just slow, slow, slow roasting. Or maybe I'm pickled because I'm a bit sour at this point in my life.

#aging #aginggracefully #femalemusician #cptsd #middleage taken in Salt Lake City, Utah by @therachelrayner

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3

a month ago

I'm a bit worried about whether or not I created an unrealistic goal for myself when I decided to make an EP by the end of the year. I spent over a week trying to write a new song but can't seem to put a melody I like to the chord progression I created.

#singersongwriterproducer #perfectionismrecovery #songwritingprocess #songwriters #songwritingchallenge taken in Salt Lake City, Utah by @therachelrayner

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5

a month ago

The more we try to control our world, the more it rebels against us. I'm in this liminal space right now where I have ended my old way of life and many of my old maladaptive coping mechanisms, but I haven't actually started my new one. Man, that grief is HARD. Many days I ask myself what I was thinking, because the positive changes my actions are bringing my way are still on the distant horizon. I doubt many days that they will ever make it to me.

There is a voice in my head scolding me. There is a voice that echos what a bully once said of me in college: "failure at life." But life is not something you can pass or fail, not something that can be graded at all. You never know how your actions impact the world around, and more importantly, you never know WHICH of your actions will be your most powerful ones.

May you and I surrender some of our need to control our lives so that we can finally begin living it.

Also, I give life coaching sessions, so if you are interested, send me a message!

#lessonslearned #lifelessons #control #failure #lifecoach taken in Salt Lake City, Utah by @therachelrayner

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2

a month ago

I'm doing something crazy: I am going to write and record an EP in three months despite the fact that I have only ever finished 3 songs. Can I pull it off? Let's find out.

#singersongwriterproducer #songwritingchallenge #songwritingprocess #slcmusician #perfectionismrecovery taken in Salt Lake City, Utah by @therachelrayner

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4

a month ago

Don’t forget to check on your friends and dance with them 🤍

#friends #friendships #gratitude #vulnerabilityisstrength #fyp taken in Downtown Salt Lake City by @therachelrayner

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4

2 months ago