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Just A Dog Handler

@thislifewiththem

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Petting, cuddling, & working my dogs soothes my🧠 &❤️
(#presa) 4/20/22
(#frenchie) 9/8/22
(#corso) 11/18/22
(#presa) 4/16/23 - 8/20/26 🪽🌈

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My dogs are not just dogs to me. The things I had to push and pull myself through to become what Patriot K9 and JonJon told me I needed to be or had to be to be the handler mastiffs needed was triggering and traumatizing. I HAD TO LET STRANGERS TOUCH ME! I cried on the days I couldn’t talk and crawled on the days I couldn’t walk to hold myself to the same standards I was asking my dogs to hold themselves to. And just when I had decompressed a little bit, I was thrown right back into the ring. Some of you all may believe you know what it’s like to have to fight your whole life and then there are those of us who know that you only think you know what it’s like to have to fight your whole life.
I have been stuck in the anger stage of grief since August 25, 2022 9PM (30 mins after the call) and I had been working real hard to not let that anger consume me. The flames were contained until Patriot K9 started fanning them in August of 2025 and on August 20, 2026 7AM JonJon spilled gasoline all over it. I am burning with rage. They will attempt to go through life and pretend they aren’t, don’t let them fool you it’s eating them alive. They may even try to write my name down in their stories as “the hurt person hurting people”, I truly don’t care. I wish them well on this drag I’m overly prepared to take them through hell. I want them to suffer. I want them to feel this agony in their soul. I don’t want them to ever rest easy again. I know that they will continue to train I can only hope this makes them less careless as they do. I want them to see Lyrics’ face in every dog they come in contact with in the future. I want them to be haunted by my pain and fear its wrath every time they take on a new client. My kindness has run out and my grace has been exhausted. I miss my dog, I am hurt like a mf’er, and I’m coming for their atonement one way or another. For as long as it takes because I came out the womb fighting people bigger than me and cliques much bigger than theirs.

Handlers everywhere should appreciate that about me. I don’t want this betrayal and heartbreak for any of them. by @thislifewiththem

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3 days ago

I know you all are seeing all this chaos unfolding on my page and as person whose dog came home reactive from one board and train then, came home in an urn from another board and train let me just say, I don’t feel like there is a such thing as an overreaction in this situation.
However, I do want to apologize to Lyric if it feels like the point that two separate training companies with more than enough experience were paid to do a job but, failed her miserably and didn’t do the right things after doing so. No decisions I make when it comes to my dogs are ever taken lightly. Like not one! Patriot K9 mostly amanda_patriot_k9 would love to have you believe that I didn’t know a mf’ing thing when I showed up to them. Ask all of Patriot K9 did Raven have any behavior problems, ask them if Lyric had any. I showed up with only one dog who had one specific problem and I knew exactly why he had it. I didn’t show up to patriotk9dog_club or, jonjon_thadogtrainer not knowing what a dog who was clear on what he or she has been taught or not taught looks like. amanda_patriot_k9 will have you believe that I refused to let them help me once Lyric came home. I didn’t, but if I had, I didn’t owe it to Patriot K9 to let them have a do-over after failing already. Lyric, was one of two dogs that I sent to their facility who came home worse off than when they arrived. amanda_patriot_k9 talks all this “the go-home session and transition process is very important in any training program”. Well, ask her if it was so important why didn’t she say anything about it at the start of the working relationship. In fact, not one trainer at patriotk9dog_club mentioned anything about how important it was until I started preparing to take legal action against them. There was a point I felt blessed to have met both Patriot K9 and JonJon. I still believe that Patriot K9 has something beautiful with that farm and JonJon did great work with Treie but, they owed Lyric and I so much better than they gave us. That fact can’t be denied or refuted and that fact is the whole point of all this. And there will be no peace until consequences for what Lyric, endured and suffered are delivered. by @thislifewiththem

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9 days ago

Most survivors would probably tell you that being happy you made it does not erase the pain you feel from what you lost and that having to be strong is not all it’s hyped up to be. In my opinion, it is downright overrated. I look at this picture happy to have survived what I was going through at the time it was taken while, simultaneously remembering the losses I was enduring in this moment and grieving the loss I have experienced since the moment it was taken.

But, hey I am still standing (barely most days).

Yes, I had really dyed Lyric pink . 💕

#breastcancerawarenessmonth🎀 #domesticviolenceawarenessmonth #pregnancyandinfantlossawarenessmonth #healthliteracymonth #globaldiversityawarenessmonth by @thislifewiththem

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15 days ago

Our trial field debut.

Treie navigated through the airport, maneuvered the planes, and did his job honorably. This boy showed courage, confidence, patience, professionalism, and passion. He was graceful and majestic. He represented his breed in a way his breed has rarely been represented before. He earned the admiration and respect of all the judges watching him. 🫡
To say I am proud of him would be an understatement. 🥹😍

Me and my boy took our first flight together all the way to California. I still can’t believe we did it but, we did that shit! 🤯

Thank you to the trainers who prepared him and the people who encouraged me through this moment. 🫶🏾🤛🏾

We are just getting started however, the goal is simple. We want to be better as a team, every time we step out there. by @thislifewiththem

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17 days ago

The amount of dedication required to achieve this is insurmountable.

There is no official public database or exact statistic tracking the total number of Presa Canario working as service animals but, I am willing to bet that they are exceptionally rare in the role.

I am ushering this boy towards greatness and I appreciate everyone who is helping me get him there.

Shout out to Treie a real dog doing real shit! by @thislifewiththem

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21 days ago

Excuses deflect attention and blame external factors, while reasons take responsibility and acknowledge situations beyond our control. Excuses focus on problems without leading to change, whereas reasons prioritize solutions and future improvement. Excuses are self-serving, while reasons are selfless. So, I suppose I’ve always known that things being easy was never in the cards for my life. Because in a world filled with excuses, the Universe keeps getting personal and throwing reasons in my damn face. The most recent reason it gave me was You.

P. S. I was trying to play fair but, I see y’all like playing dirty. Bet! Game on then mf’ers. 😤 by @thislifewiththem

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a month ago

You had so many more dives to take, runs to make, and tugs to shake. I can’t accept this. You are owed big time baby girl and I swear on your spirit, I’m headed to collect it all. I will not be denied and there will be no bargaining. Everything I am about to do will solely be because you didn’t get the chances you deserved. I miss you so much Lyric and I am so angry that I have to miss you for the rest of my life now. by @thislifewiththem

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a month ago

Treie, on this day 4 years ago, a version of you was taken from me. No one knows I died that night because I woke up the next morning, took a shower, got dressed, and went on with life, with the new version of you that arrived within the same hour.
Did you know? Considering the way things went down that day, you had to see the effect it would have on my rationale towards the phrase “it’s just a dog.” Did you fully understand how personal this would make my relationship with these sentient beings forever? You had to see that there was no way a dog would EVER be just a dog to me again. Right? Did you know I was going to go insane? Their wants and needs would embed into my life. Did you think through this transformation? Did you think about me? My heart? How fragile it already was? Did you grasp how much I would love them?
You knew right? Tell me you knew nothing would ever be the same. 😭😭😭😭😭😭
Well, her leash is in your hands now. Halo Lyric, was her name and like with you, there were no warning signs that time was about to run out for us, she was just gone. She was a once-in-a-lifetime Presa. Naturally gifted from the start. I set goals and made plans for a future with her. She was about to do some great things. A whole life I had mapped out for 8 years minimum, 13 years maximum, and then boom! Now suddenly, I have to do a life without her. There is pain being felt in a place deep inside of me. A place I didn’t know I had feelings existing to be hurt. I needed more time to make things up to her. I owed this amazing girl so much. She deserved way better than she got. I never imagined our goodbye, see ya later, coming this soon. So, I wasn’t prepared for this part yet. However, knowing her as it was with you was a privilege, an experience that brought out a version of myself I didn’t know I had in me. You’re going to love everything about her. You two take care of each other. And yo, would you please ask whoever or whatever is in charge of the end to stop creeping up on me? Like, the shit is so unnecessary! by @thislifewiththem

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2 months ago

Shiloh B&T - here for sports on and bite work hopefully girl will hit the field by end of year !!! by @thislifewiththem

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2 months ago

All this boy ever needed was trainers as dedicated to their jobs as I am dedicated to him!

Because, I am a less overwhelmed handler when I am standing next to my dog knowing he has been taught to have restraint. I am a less anxious handler when I am standing next to my dog knowing he already knows what to do.
I am a much more confident handler when I stand next to my dog knowing all I have to do is maintain the structure and remain consistent.

So, when a dog trainer does their job, they build a safer and happier bond between this handler and every dog in her pack. by @thislifewiththem

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2 months ago

I remember being scared I was going to have to put her down due to how reactive she was when she came back from her board and train with Patriot K9.

@k9cowboy_ you definitely did your big one filling in the holes with this girl and getting her ready for this next chapter. 👏🏾🙌🏾🫶🏾 by @thislifewiththem

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3 months ago

I always hear people say or read comments people wrote talking about how they didn’t know they could love someone so much.
Well, I’ve ALWAYS known I could love someone this much because I am a sister, a friend, a mom, an aunt, a cousin, and a partner.
What I didn’t know until the moment it happened is that Treie would be a someone I loved so much.

This summer has been an amazing summer. A summer that feels like the summer we had in 2022.
A summer that feels like an answered call out to the Universe for another summer with him granted through you.

📸 @c4petc4petphotos by @thislifewiththem

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3 months ago