Instagram story viewer> @thomasbarish> Posts

THOMAS JOSEPH

@thomasbarish

2.3K

followers

2136

following

pgh | pharmD

POSTS STORIES REELS TAGGED

11/5/2022

to my big brother, my protector, and my biggest supporter (and sometimes my biggest opponent): rest in peace 🤍

writing this feels surreal and words cannot begin to describe the pain I feel knowing that you're gone or how much you are going to be missed by everyone. you truly were one of a kind and it was an honor to grow up with you and have you help shape me into the person i am today. no matter how much we fought, you were always there to protect me and support me. i wish i could call you one last time to say this, but i hope you knew how much I love you, even when i said i didn't.

say hi to Luke for us and keep watch over us our guardian angels ; i love you forever, Joe 🤟🏼🤍

••

please call your friends and family, tell them you love them, give them a hug, and never let go. and if you or a loved one of yours is struggling with mental illness, hold them a little tighter today and everyday. mental illness is a disease that does not discriminate against age, background, money, happiness, or how much someone is loved -- it's a battle that my family and i struggle with, and one that my brother lost. he was mentally in so much pain and the only way to make sense of this is to realize that he's in a better place and no longer fighting a battle against himself.

the text at the end of this post was sent to me on Wednesday, just 3 days before he decided to take his own life. this is a sign to check in on those who we know are struggling, no matter how big their smile might be at the moment. tell them you love them. remind them they have a support system. let them know that no matter how much pain they're in, their story doesn't have to end yet -- you don't know how much someone may need to hear it. there are so many more chapters waiting to be written for them, and it breaks my heart that joe's "the end" came early for him.

know your resources.
national suicide hotline: 1-800-273-8255
SAMHSA's national helpline: 1-800-622-4357 taken in Heaven Is for Real by @thomasbarish

998

455

4 years ago

Mocha (aka "Lil Greg") Latte, thank you for over 12 years of love and yaps and sleepovers ❤️‍🩹 you only clocked in at 3 pounds but you carried such an important weight in my life — you survived our parents' divorce, Joe's loss, my journey with coming out, and moving to pittsburgh with me and I couldn't be more thankful that you were there through it all 🥹 emotional support dog fr, say hi to Joe for us 🤍 taken in Forever Friends by @thomasbarish

345

45

12 days ago

48 hours exploring west virginny ⛰️👬❣️ taken in New River Gorge National Park by @thomasbarish

3

15

2 months ago

In gay world, pride is the one day a year where you can dress like a total fruit pop and no one can say anything about it! Me? I showed up like this: 🌈👨🏼‍❤️‍💋‍👨🏼🧚🩵🩷 by @thomasbarish

688

19

4 months ago

25 and finally able to say that i'm not only just surviving but also thriving and aliving !

I wrote this post two nights before my birthday as a completely different man than I was at 23 on the verge of 24, and boy what a year it has been. After losing my brother at the age of 21 while him 24, I always feared that I, too, would die at 24. Not necessarily because I wanted to, but it was this everlasting nightmare that I couldn't see past — just like how another individual might get anxious when nearing a random 47th or 56th birthday because that's when they lost their parent, sibling, friend, or loved one to a random heart attack.

Yet somewhere along the way last summer, I realized that life didn't end at 24, and I had to stop acting like it did. Sure, it took hitting rocking bottom (again) in order to so, but I am thankful for every step of this journey. Back in June, I decided to give up alcohol until I passed my boards as a means of "locking in," but I slowly fell in love with life again, and gave it up completely. I got back into cooking, and learned that I love @solidcore , and even picked up running — all things I said I'd never do, or couldn't do. I learned how to love myself and, more importantly, choose myself for the first time in a long time. Maybe too much to the point where I had even up and quit my job without having a backup plan secured (oops!), but I turn 25 now being able say that I love the career that I've chosen and where I practice as a licensed pharmacist (yay for passing the boards!).

I'm turning 25 at just slightly over 11 months alcohol free, over 100 pounds lighter, and 1000x times happier than I was entering 24. I've built a relationship with myself and learned how to blossom the other relationships in my life. I turn 25 lucky enough to say that I am truly blessed by those who I surround myself with today, whether old or new to my life — and at some point during this 24th chapter, I even found my own real life dream-come-true whose shown me what a happy and healthy relationship should be (@mxchaelav you are one of a kind!) 🫶🏼

[continued] taken in Birthday Boy by @thomasbarish

485

74

5 months ago

Marchive 💌 by @thomasbarish

3

6

6 months ago

2025 recap with some pics from the last 6 months ❤️‍🔥

(Un)fortunately this won't be one of my annual long written end-of-the-year posts, but i do have a few life updates from the most transformative year yet!

(In no particular order):
- Turned 24
- Graduated pharmacy school
- Hit rock bottom (again!)
- Went sober (currently 6+ months alcohol free!)
- Ran a 5k
- Herniated a disc
- Passed my boards
- Lost 100 lbs
- Started choosing myself
- Reconnected with people I never thought I'd speak to again
- Found happiness

This year, particularly in June when I decided to give up alcohol, take better care of my physical and mental health, and begin truly studying for my boards, it felt like I had finally woken up from the nightmare that I have called life the past 3 years. I accomplished things that I'd never dreamt of doing, including voluntarily running unless it was for my life. I hit the highest of highs and lowest of lows and loved every second of the experience

I usually ramble on for much longer going into the nitty gritty if the year's ups and downs, but this year's is short n sweet ;)

If you feel as is you're at rock bottom, or if you know someone who is struggling, please know and use your resources! I share this in hopes that someone out there who feels as if the world is caving in right now realizes that they are not alone in their struggles and that brighter days are coming ; please stay, life is so worth living 🤍

Suicide & Crisis Lifeline: 988
National Suicide Hotline: 1-800-273-8255
SAMHSA's national helpline: 1-800-622-4357 by @thomasbarish

381

37

9 months ago

October's study break #PUMPKINNN taken in Soergels Orchard by @thomasbarish

3

12

a year ago

Removes orange stains & silly boys #pride by @thomasbarish

3

13

a year ago

Brothers yesterday, tomorrow, and everyday in between now and forever 🤟🏼 I miss and love you every minute of every day. Happy 27th JB 🤍 taken in BrotherLove by @thomasbarish

466

31

2 years ago

All I want for Christmas ❤️‍🩹 by @thomasbarish

3

12

2 years ago

two whole ass years without you ❤️‍🩹

the funny thing about death is that no one warns you about it's silly little counterpart, grief, that seems to come and never go. losing my brother was the most difficult thing that i have experienced, but grieving him has been just as mentally and physically challenging. every new experience comes with a "well what if he could be here," and every difficult day comes with a stronger yearning to hear your voice and comfort. and that's the worst part -- some days, i can't remember what you sounded like; some days, i have to look at pictures of you just to remember your face; some days, i have to remind myself you were real because my mind only focuses on you being gone. some days, i fall in love with the life that i'm living, only to feel guilty for admitting that, because how can i be loving a life that you're not in? some days, i ask myself how the hell we got here, and some days i try to believe that everything happens for a reason. and if that's true, then why aren't you still here with me?

i have so many questions that will go unanswered and so many words for you that are left unsaid now. i miss you forever and ever, and i love you even longer! 🤟🏼

i share my story today, not for the pity or the "you're so strong during this" or the infinite amount of love that has already been shown to me this past year by my family, friends, and strangers. i share my story in honor of my brother, who was too afraid to share his own while he was still with us. i share my story for other individuals who may struggle with mental illness but feel alone or that they have been invalidated. i share my story for the other members of the LGBTQIA+ community who have suffered mentally from coming out, or who are still unable to express themselves and are struggling further.

i share my story for those who can no longer share their own.

[cont.] taken in Home is Where the Heart is by @thomasbarish

403

53

2 years ago