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Rosie Moss is Widowed AF

@widowed_af

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Widowed AF with Rosie Moss
Award-winning Grief Podcast 🎙️
Writer | Speaker | Widowed mum of 3 ♥️
Stories of love, loss & what comes after.

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I recently asked you to tell me the most outrageous or audacious thing someone has said to you in widowhood.

Here are just a few examples of the hurtful and unkind comments levelled at members of our community when they were at their absolute lowest.

We know it can be difficult to find the right words, especially if you have been fortunate enough not to experience traumatic loss in your own life.

But words matter.

They can hurt, and they can heal.

If you don’t know what to say, you don’t need to search for a silver lining, offer advice or try to make it better.

If you’re stuck for words, these are enough…..

“I’m so sorry for your loss.”
“I’m here.”
“I won’t forget them.”

Peace out ✌️

#Widowhood #GriefSupport #WidowedCommunity #WordsMatter #LifeAfterLoss by @widowed_af

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3 months ago

Today is International Widows Day.

Eight years ago, I became a widow at 37 when my husband Ben disappeared in a scuba diving accident. His body was never found. Overnight, I found myself raising three young children while trying to navigate a life I never wanted and certainly wasn’t prepared for.

I lost my person, my future, my confidence, my sense of safety and, for a long time, a sense of who I was.

What shocked me most was how alone widowhood could feel. The support in those early days was incredible, but as the world moved on, grief remained. The practical challenges remained. The loneliness remained.

Widowed AF was born from that experience.

What started as one widow trying to feel less alone became a podcast, a book, and most importantly, a community. A community of people who understand that grief isn’t something you “get over”, and that connection can be life-changing.

Today I’m thinking of widows and widowers everywhere. The newly bereaved. The long-term survivors. The ones holding it together. The ones barely making it through the day.

I see you, you matter, and you are not forgotten. ♥️

#InternationalWidowsDay #WidowedAndForgotten #WidowedAF #Widowhood by @widowed_af

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4 months ago

People talk a lot about grieving a partner. But not enough about grieving the version of yourself that disappeared too.

The parent you might have been if life hadn’t forced you into survival mode overnight.

The one with backup.With someone to share the mental load.
Someone else awake in the night worrying about school shoes, money, grief, behaviour, birthdays, forms, dinner, homework and whether the kids are really okay.

Widowed parenting is carrying love, loss and responsibility all at the same time.
And some days that is really tough. ♥️

#WidowedAF
#WidowedParent
#GriefSupport
#SoloParenting
#LifeAfterLoss by @widowed_af

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5 months ago

If you wanna be my lover, you gotta be okay with me still loving my dead husband. ❤️

Last night, 58 widows and widowers came together for our weekly Widow Wednesday Zoom to talk about one iof the big widowhood taboos.
Sex. Desire. Dating. And the rather strange phenomenon known as widow’s fire.

Because nobody really warns you that you can be drowning in grief, desperately missing the person you love, and still find yourself craving sex and physical intimacy.
And that can feel REALLY confusing.

There’s shame attached to it. Guilt. The uncomfortable feeling that somehow wanting to be touched, desired or loved again is a betrayal of the person you’ve lost.

We also talked about the complicated business of finding love again when you’re still very much in love with someone who died.
Because dating a widow isn’t necessarily about replacing someone. It’s about making room for someone else. And that new person needs to understand that you might still cry for your late partner, talk about them, miss them terribly and wish they were still here.
None of which means you can’t love someone new.

What struck me last night was the relief in being able to talk openly about these things without judgement. To realise that the feelings you’ve been quietly ashamed of are shared by so many others.

Wanting intimacy doesn’t mean you’ve stopped grieving. Wanting love doesn’t mean you’ve stopped loving.And loving someone new doesn’t mean loving your late partner any less.

There is room for both. ❤️##

I’d love to hear your experiences. Did widow’s fire catch you off guard? Have you navigated dating or relationships since your person died? Or does the whole idea still feel impossible? by @widowed_af

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2 days ago

World Mental Health Day.

When Ben died, my mental health went into free fall.

I was having the darkest of thoughts, losing myself in a bottle and desperately trying to convince the world I was coping.

I was terrified of the stigma, the judgement and the shame.

I wanted people to think I was brave. That I was strong. That I was managing.

So that’s what I showed them.

But underneath I was lost, desperately unhappy and so very, very afraid.

We tell people to ask for help, but it’s not always that simple.

When I eventually did, I was met with hostility at my local A&E. Threatened with social services, then the police when I tried to leave.

I’m still haunted by that day. It made me more frightened of seeking help than ever.

My struggles were also used against me by someone I trusted, leaving me terrified of being honest with anyone again.

I’m in a good place now, although I still have days when I feel overwhelmed and convinced everyone else is managing better than me.

I got sober. I was diagnosed with AuDHD, which explained so much. I have therapy and I’ve learnt that struggling doesn’t make me weak.

But being widowed is lonely. Relentless. Really fucking hard. And grief doesn’t magically get better with time.

Finding my friends within the widowed community has been the single most healing thing I’ve done. People who understand without explanation, who don’t expect me to have moved on or found the silver lining.

It’s why I’ll keep creating spaces for us to come together. Because when the world feels against you, your widowed community will hold you tight.

Be kind. Be open. We are not robots, and the more afraid we are of judgement, the harder it becomes to share how we’re really feeling.

Sometimes the person who looks like they’re coping is barely holding on.

I know, because I was her.

And I wish someone had told me I didn’t have to pretend.

#WorldMentalHealthDay #WidowedAF #MentalHealthAwareness #Grief #Widowed by @widowed_af

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6 days ago

“I thought he’d forgotten his key.”

Louise had put the boys to bed and gone to sleep. When she woke to flashing lights and knocking at the door, she stumbled downstairs, sleepy and confused, expecting to find her husband John.

Instead, there were two police officers standing outside.

John had been hit by a bus while cycling home from football.

And in the middle of the shock, the first thing Louise could think was:
“But I can’t. I’ve got kids upstairs.”

That moment. When your normal, ordinary life is still happening around you, but everything has just changed.
Louise’s story is incredibly powerful. We talk about John, their boys, the 18 days he spent in ICU, the decisions and goodbyes that followed, and the long fight for answers and accountability after his death.

🎧 Louise’s episode of Widowed AF is out now.

Comment LOUISE and I’ll send you the link, or listen via the link in my bio.

#WidowedAF #Widowhood #Grief #Bereavement #SuddenLoss by @widowed_af

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10 days ago

I’m a finalist for The Brave AF Award at the inaugural Weird AF Awards.

Widows get called brave a lot.

“You’re so brave.” “I don’t know how you do it.” “You’re so strong.”

When actually, most of the time, we’re not being brave at all. We’re surviving something we weren’t given a choice about. Getting out of bed when your person has died isn’t necessarily bravery. Sometimes it’s just what you have to do because there are children to feed, bills to pay and life has rather rudely carried on without them.

But this award defines bravery slightly differently.

It’s about stepping up. Doing things you didn’t think you could do. Feeling the fear and doing them anyway.

And that I can get on board with.
Because almost everything that has happened since I switched on a microphone and started Widowed AF has scared me at some point.

Talking publicly about the worst thing that ever happened to me. Interviewing strangers. Writing a book. Going on live radio and television. Standing on stages. Starting Widows Wednesday. Putting myself out there again and again while the little voice in my head tells me I have absolutely no business doing any of it.

I used to think bravery meant not being scared.
I’ve learned that, for me at least, it’s being scared and doing the thing anyway.

The Weird AF Awards celebrate people who do things differently, who don’t necessarily fit the traditional mould and who have turned some of the things that made them feel like outsiders into their strengths.

As a widowed, late-diagnosed neurodivergent woman who has spent a significant portion of her life feeling like she was getting it slightly wrong, this feels like rather a lovely place to find myself.

So, Holy Zebra. I’m a Weird AF Award finalist. by @widowed_af

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12 days ago

This is my dead husband.

His name was Ben.

He was 29 when we met and 42 when he died. He gave me the best 13 years of my life.

He was a good man who loved his family above all else. He was passionate, intelligent and funny. He was also very easy on the eye.

We miss him terribly, and we always will.

Now tell me about your person.

Tell me their name and something about them in the comments. Something you loved about them, something that made them them, or simply something you want the world to know.

And if you’re on Facebook, or Instagram gives you the option, share a photo of them too.

I want to see their faces and know their names.

Let’s fill the comments with them. ❤️
#WidowedAF #Widowhood #Grief #LoveAfterLoss #SayTheirName by @widowed_af

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12 days ago

Congratulations to Rosie, winner of this year’s Helen Bailey Award 💙

The Helen Bailey Award celebrates the powerful ways young widowed people share their stories and help others feel less alone.

Rosie was nominated for her award-winning podcast @widowed_af, which has helped widowed listeners around the world feel seen, understood and less alone.

To read more about the award, Rosie's story and our other incredible nominees, comment 'Helen Bailey'...

📸 Keith Symons Photography by @widowed_af

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13 days ago

The British Podcast Awards 🏆

This year I only entered one category, Best Host, and whilst I was utterly honoured to be longlisted, I wasn’t actually up for an award last night.

But that wasn’t going to stop me going along to mingle with the great and good of the British podcasting world. And they did not disappoint.

It was genuinely lovely to meet so many fantastic people, and huge congratulations to all the winners, nominees and everyone who made it this far in what is an incredibly competitive, and some might say slightly oversaturated, industry.

The likes of Alan Carr, Pete Wicks and Peter Crouch were all there and recognised for their work, but I’m always particularly happy to see the independent podcasters getting their moment too.

Because I know just how much work goes into making a podcast when you don’t have a huge team behind you. The recording is just the beginning. There’s the editing, producing, booking, researching, social media, emails, admin, promotion and the small matter of actually persuading people to listen to the bloody thing.

So seeing Kate Moryoussef and the @adhd_womenswellbeing_pod take home GOLD made me smile enormously. Very, very deserved.

No trophy for Widowed AF this year, but a bloody lovely night celebrating an industry I’m very happy to be a small part of. by @widowed_af

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15 days ago

When I started Widowed AF I had absolutely no clue what I was doing.

I switched on a microphone and started broadcasting some of the most painful moments of my life to the world.

And I was met with such kindness and compassion.

Then I realised there were so many other people who wanted the opportunity to speak about their grief too. To let the world know what had happened to them, to talk about the people they had lost and the lives they had lived, without judgement or fear.

What I expected even less was how much fun we would have.

What twisted, dark-humoured sickos you’d all turn out to be, and how much joy that would bring me.

I’ve made new friends, travelled to America, won awards, written a book, had some amazing opportunities and learned so much about myself along the way.

All because I switched that microphone on.

It hasn’t always been easy. I’ve had moments where I couldn’t breathe with fear and nerves, moments of self-doubt so huge I’ve nearly quit multiple times.

But every time, I didn’t, and I am so glad.

Podcasting is expensive, it’s time consuming and it’s incredibly tough to be heard in such a competitive world.

So on International Podcast Day, to every single one of you who has listened, participated, shared my videos and stories, recommended the podcast or simply quietly pressed play, thank you.

You make what I do possible.

And thank you for being so supportive of the community of people who trust me to tell their stories.

I still don’t really know what I’m doing.

I just keep switching the microphone on.

I am tagging some other brilliant grief podcasts as it’s important that we recognise the work we are all doing. Please feel free to add any others to the comments, I have widow brain! Xx

@the_widowdiaries @karensuttonwidowcoach @thosetwowidows @thegriefgang @widowwedonow @thegriefcast @ttfapodcast by @widowed_af

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16 days ago

“How selfish of you. You’ve got two children.”

It’s a judgement Natalie has heard more than once since speaking publicly about her own suicide attempt.

And she understands it, because for years, she thought the same thing about her own mum.

Natalie was just two when her mum, Elaine, died by suicide at 26.

It wasn’t until Natalie found herself in that same terrifying darkness, as a mother herself, that she began to understand something she hadn’t been able to before.

It wasn’t that she didn’t love her children.

In that moment, she genuinely believed they would be better off without her.

This week on Widowed AF, Natalie and I talk about maternal suicide, losing a parent as a tiny child, the silence and stigma she grew up with, and what happened when motherhood brought so much of that grief back to the surface.

It’s an incredibly candid conversation about suicide and the people left behind.

🎧 Comment ‘NATALIE’ and I’ll send you a link to the full episode, or follow the link in my bio to listen now.

You can find Natalie on Instagram @natalie_rantingma and TikTok @therantingma

We’re also raising money for CALM (Campaign Against Living Miserably). If you’d like to support their suicide prevention work, the JustGiving link is in my bio.

#WidowedAF #SuicideBereavement #SuicideAwareness #Grief #ChildhoodBereavement by @widowed_af

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17 days ago