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🩷 Shayna 🩷

@xoshayna_

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✨ Autism Mom
🩷 Foster Mom
💉 Nursing Student
✂️ Cosmetologist
✝️ JESUS IS KING

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This week has been one of the hardest weeks I've had since starting nursing school. 💔

I tested positive for the flu, felt absolutely miserable, and somehow still had to push through four tests this week. There were moments when I wanted nothing more than to crawl into bed, shut my laptop, and forget about everything for a little while.

Being a mom of seven while chasing my dream of becoming a nurse is not for the weak. Some days I feel like I'm barely holding it all together. And I'd be lying if I said quitting hasn't crossed my mind a time or two.

But then there are moments like this. ❤️

It's late, the house is finally quiet, and I'm sitting in the dark typing away on my laptop while my youngest, just 2 years old, falls asleep on my chest.

And I'm reminded of exactly why I'm doing this.

My children are my biggest motivation, and my faith is what keeps me going when I feel like I have nothing left to give.

I truly believe God didn't place this dream on my heart and open doors for me just to leave me halfway through. He made a way when I couldn't see one, and I have to trust that He will continue to carry me through the hard days.

One day, these late nights, the tears, the exhaustion, and the sacrifices will all be worth it. One day, my children will see that their mama didn't give up, even when giving up would've been the easier choice.

I'm not just working toward a nursing license. I'm showing my children what faith, perseverance, and determination look like.

And if all I can do today is hold my baby with one arm and type with the other, then that's exactly how we're going to get through nursing school. 🥹❤️

God didn't bring me this far to only bring me this far. 🙏🏼🩺

#NursingSchoolJourney #MomOf7 #NursingStudent #FaithOverFear #FutureNurse taken in Fresno, California by @xoshayna_

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2 days ago

The hardest part about nursing school is realizing that life doesn't stop when you're sick. 😷🤒 No sick days, no falling behind, and no time to recover. Just pushing through because you've worked too hard to give up now. 🩺📚💗

#NursingSchool #LVNStudent #NursingStudentLife #FutureNurse #NursingSchoolStruggles taken in Gurnick Academy by @xoshayna_

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4 days ago

Nursing school has a dress code for EVERYTHING… scrubs, shoes, hair, nails… EVERYTHING. 🙄😂

But SOCKS?! Oh, baby, that's where my personality comes out! 💅🏼🤣

Today I pulled up with Scooby-Doo and Shaggy socks that literally HOLD HANDS. 😭💀😂

Because if I'm gonna have a mental breakdown over nursing school, at least my socks can provide emotional support. 🤝🏼🤣

Ruh-roh… another exam?! 🐾🩺💀

#NursingSchool #LVNStudent #FutureNurse #NursingStudentLife #NursingSchoolHumor StudentNurse NurseInTheMaking ScrubLife ScoobyDoo FunnySocks NursingSchoolStruggles GurnickAcademy taken in Gurnick Academy by @xoshayna_

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11 days ago

Fresno, thank you. ❤️

The amount of love, compassion, prayers, and kind words you all left on my video about searching for my mom truly meant more to me than I can explain.

One question I get often is, “Why don’t you just bring your mom home?” And I wish it were that simple. I love my mom deeply. I would never choose this life for her. But she is an adult, and I cannot force her to come home, get help, or live the life I wish she would choose for herself.

All I can do is continue to love her, look for her, help her when she allows me to, and remind her that she is loved. ❤️

And if there is one thing I hope people take from these videos, it’s this: help people when you can. You don’t have to know their story. You don’t have to understand how they got there. A bottle of water, a meal, clean clothes, a blanket, or simply treating someone like a human being can mean more than you realize.

There are so many people in our community who need compassion, not judgment.

Thank you, Fresno, for reminding me that there are still so many good people in this world. 🥹❤️

#Fresno #FresnoCA #FresnoCommunity #CentralValley #559 HomelessnessAwareness HelpOthers ChooseKindness Compassion KindnessMatters BeTheGood LoveWithoutJudgment CommunitySupport MentalHealthAwareness by @xoshayna_

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12 days ago

I didn’t find my mom. 💔

The day before I found her sleeping on the freeway, covered in dirt, and I haven’t been able to get the image out of my head since. No matter how old I get, she’s still my mom. And seeing her living like this hurts in a way I don’t really know how to put into words.

So on a Friday night, while most people were home with their families, I drove back to one of the roughest parts of Fresno looking for mine.

I brought baby wipes so she could clean herself up, more water, popcorn, and a few little things that I hoped might make tonight just a tiny bit easier for her.

But I couldn’t find her.

I found her boyfriend instead. He told me she had gotten so dirty from digging around in a burned tree. I left the supplies with him and just prayed they would make their way to her.

This is the part of homelessness, addiction, and mental illness people don’t always see—the families who still love them. The children who grow up but never stop worrying about their mom or dad. The driving around looking. The wondering if they’re hungry, cold, hot, safe, or even alive. The guilt when you go home to a warm bed knowing they’re sleeping somewhere outside.

I know I can’t fix everything for my mom. I know I can’t force her into a different life.

But I can still love her.

And sometimes loving her looks like driving around Fresno on a Friday night with baby wipes, water, and snacks in my car, just hoping I get to see her face. 💔

Tonight, I didn’t.

Please keep my mom in your prayers. 🙏🏼

#HomelessnessAwareness #MentalHealthAwareness #AddictionAwareness #LovingSomeoneWithAddiction #Fresno taken in Fresno, California by @xoshayna_

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15 days ago

My sister came home from Texas this week, and I’ve been so happy just getting to see her, hug her, and spend some time together. ❤️ Today, I took her to see our mom, who she hasn’t seen in almost two years.

I don’t really know how to put into words what that felt like.

We found our mom sleeping in the dirt on the side of the freeway, drinking a beer, dirty and living in a reality that is so far from ours. We brought her clothes and shoes, sat with her, talked to her, took pictures, and just tried to love her exactly where she was.

But the hardest part is knowing that mentally, our mom just isn’t really there anymore. 💔 You can look into the eyes of the woman who raised you and still feel like you’re grieving someone who is standing right in front of you.

I’m grateful my sister got to see her. I’m grateful we got that time together. But my heart hurts knowing that this is how she had to see our mom after almost two years.

And tonight I’m feeling it all a little extra because my sister will be heading back to Texas, and I know it may be quite some time before I get to see her again. I’m so thankful for the time we had this week, but saying goodbye never gets easier.

Please keep my mom in your prayers. Pray that God protects her even in the places we cannot reach her. And please pray for my sister as she travels back home, and for both of our hearts as we process what we saw today.

Sometimes loving someone means accepting that you cannot save them, but you can still show up, sit beside them, and remind them that they are loved. ❤️

“The Lord is close to the brokenhearted and saves those who are crushed in spirit.” Psalm 34:18 🙏🏼 taken in Fresno, California by @xoshayna_

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17 days ago

A whole year apart and these ID badges really said, “Girl… the evidence is undeniable.” 😂😭
Same school. Same girl. Same dream. NEW JAWLINE. 🤣💅🏼
I knew I had lost weight, but seeing these badges side by side?! Okayyyy… NOW I see it. 👀😂 Apparently my face was holding onto a few extra credits last semester. 💀
From 09/2025 ➡️ 09/2026… nursing school comeback AND a glow-up. 🩺✨
At this rate, Gurnick isn’t just tracking my education… they’re documenting my transformation too. 😂📸
#NursingSchool #NursingStudent #LVNStudent #WeightLossJourney #GlowUp #OneYearDifference #NursingSchoolComeback #NewJawlineWhoDis #FaceGains #SameGirlNewBadge #GurnickAcademy taken in Gurnick Academy by @xoshayna_

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18 days ago

✨ BADGE GIRLIES, THIS ONE’S FOR YOU! 👓🪪💕

If you wear a badge every day, you NEED this magnetic glasses holder! The magnet is seriously SO strong. 💪🏼 I can pull on my badge and this baby is NOT coming off. 😂👏🏼

Perfect for nurses, nursing students, CNAs, healthcare workers, teachers, office girlies—or anyone who wears a badge and is constantly wondering where to put their glasses. 🙋🏻‍♀️👓

🛍️ WANT ONE?
Click the **Linktree in my bio** to shop it through my **Amazon Storefront or TikTok Shop!** 🩷

#AmazonFinds #AmazonStorefront #TikTokShop #TikTokShopFinds #NurseFinds #NurseEssentials #NursingStudent #NursingSchool #NurseTok #HealthcareWorkers #HealthcareFinds #CNALife #BadgeReel #WorkEssentials #MustHaveFinds taken in Gurnick Academy by @xoshayna_

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19 days ago

Y’all… nursing school Day 1 and my teacher already chose VIOLENCE. 😭🤣

I walked through the door and this man goes, “HEY! Aren’t you that girl who used to be WAY bigger?!”

EXCUSE ME SIR?! 😭💀😂

Then later, IN FRONT OF THE WHOLE CLASS, he asks me if I’m taking a GLP-1.

I said, “No… a GLP-3.” 🤣🤣🤣

At this point everybody is laughing, I’m laughing, and all I can think is DAMN… was I really THAT much bigger?! 😭😂

Apparently my weight loss transformation needed to be included in today’s nursing assessment. 💀

Day 1 and I’ve already been visually assessed, questioned about my medications, and humbled in front of the entire class. 🤣🩺

Can’t wait to see what Day 2 brings. 😭😂

#NursingSchoolChronicles #NursingSchoolDayOne #GLP3 #StudentNurseProblems #NursingSchoolSurvival WasIReallyThatBig SirPleaseAssessSomeoneElse NotTheWholeClass NursingSchoolGotJokes FutureNurse SendHelpAndCoffee taken in Fresno, California by @xoshayna_

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21 days ago

Today is my first day of nursing school… for the second time. 🩺🥹🩷

Last year, when my foster babies went home, I finally decided it was time to chase a dream I had been putting on hold. I started nursing school, excited for what was ahead and ready to do something for *me*.

Then, just two months in, life changed completely.

My foster babies were removed from their home again, and this time they needed something different, they needed a permanent home.** They needed stability. They needed someone to choose them.

And I had a choice to make.

Walking away from nursing school was one of the hardest and most emotional decisions I’ve ever made. I had worked so hard to get there. But overnight, our family grew to seven children, two of them with autism, and I knew where I needed to be.

So I chose them.

And if I had to go back and make that decision 100 times over, I would choose them every single time. 🩷

But I’ve learned that sometimes putting a dream down doesn’t mean God is telling you to let it go forever. Sometimes it just means not yet.

And today… I get to pick that dream back up. 🥹🙏🏼

I know this season is not going to be easy. My life is busy, my house is full, and there will probably be days when I wonder how in the world I’m going to do all of this. 😂 But I also know God would not have continued to place this dream so heavily on my heart if there wasn’t a purpose behind it.

So today I’m walking back into nursing school with more responsibilities than I had the first time, but also with more faith, more determination, and a much bigger reason to keep going.

Please send some prayers my way as I start this journey again. 🤍

“I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me.” Philippians 4:13

Here’s to second chances, delayed dreams, trusting God’s timing, and showing my babies that sometimes you have to fight a little harder for the life God placed on your heart. 🩺🩷🙏🏼

#NursingSchool #SecondChances #GodsTiming #FaithOverFear #NursingStudent #TrustGod #MomLife #FosterCare #DreamsDontExpire by @xoshayna_

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21 days ago

Last night, dinner wasn’t around a kitchen table. It was sitting on a dusty concrete curb under flickering streetlights, sharing hot food with my mom.

While my husband and I sat beside her, constantly looking over our shoulders, anxious and on edge about the darkness around us, my mom was completely at ease. She was smiling, greeting strangers passing by, and existing in an environment that terrified me. The contrast tore my heart into pieces.

How does someone’s reality shift so far that the edge of a busy highway exit feels like home?

People drive past encampments every single day and look away. They see a statistic, an eyesore, or an issue they wish would disappear. But behind every single face out there is someone’s child, someone’s parent, someone who had an entire life before mental illness took the wheel.

The hardest, most gut-wrenching part of loving someone who battles severe mental health challenges is the feeling of absolute helplessness.

Once again, I pleaded with her to get in the car. I begged her to come home where it’s safe, where there is a warm bed, a door to lock, and people who love her beyond measure. And once again, she gently refused. You cannot force a mind that is hurting to see safety the way you do, and that kind of heartbreak leaves you feeling hollow.

Walking away and leaving your own mother to sleep on the side of the highway goes against every instinct in your body. But until she is ready, all I can do is show up, bring food, sit in the dirt beside her, and remind her that she is deeply, unconditionally loved.

Please keep my mom in your prayers. And the next time you pass someone on the street corner, don't look away with judgment. Remember that somebody out there is praying for them, loving them, and hurting for them from afar.

#homelessnessawareness #homeless #mentalhealthawareness #mentalhealthmatters #fresnocalifornia by @xoshayna_

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a month ago

Enzo is nonverbal, but somehow “GIVE ME THAT DRINK” is the most fluent language in this house. 😂

He doesn’t ask.
He doesn’t negotiate.
He doesn’t take “no” for an answer.

He just keeps coming back like a tiny, caffeinated debt collector. 😭🥤

At this point, I don’t even own food or drinks. I just temporarily possess them until Enzo decides they belong to him. 😂

And the WORST part? He knows exactly what he wants and will absolutely wear you down until you give up. 💀

#Autism #NonverbalAutism #AutismMom #AutisticKids #AutismLife by @xoshayna_

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1

a month ago