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Bailey

@baileyblvck

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Long and super vulnerable post ahead!⬇️
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September is Suicide Prevention Month, and I believe in not only raising awareness about it, but also in the conversation about what suicide prevention actually looks like.
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It’s been almost 4 years since losing my dad to it. My journey with this kind of grief, coupled with the trauma around other life events, health issues and neurodivergence diagnoses… has made for a very difficult last few years. It’s something that I don’t talk a lot about, but my reality has been that I have spent a lot of the last 4 years just trying to make it one day at a time. That’s a long time to exist in survival mode, and the effect it has had on my mind and body is something I can’t “power through” anymore.
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This is what suicide prevention looks like. It looks like setting aside pride, being vulnerable, and asking for help. And this is me asking for that help. I’m grateful for the tools I’ve accumulated to this point, but certain supports can only help so much for certain people.
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This is a support that I believe will be life changing for me. However! Unfortunately for me, training a service dog is incredibly intensive and expensive. There’s more details in the GoFundMe link in my bio and I’m so incredibly grateful for all of the different supports I have and will experience through my community ♥️
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Thanks for being here ♥️♥️♥️ taken in Springfield, Missouri by @baileyblvck

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a month ago

On Sunday night we lost my sweet Satine. In true mule form, there was not much she would listen to if it wasn’t her own idea, fences included.
With no idea that she had escaped, she made her way to the highway where she was struck by a car and killed.
The 3 and a half years I had with her were so special. Satine was my first experience with a foal. I remember being at work when I got the call that her mom was pregnant, and running to tell my coworkers. I doted on her and her mom every day of the nearly year-long pregnancy. I helped her into the world, dried her off, and watched her take her first steps. I got to watch her grow up with my boys, who she adored. She was the spiciest, sassiest, and sweetest little mule. She was more canine than equine. I often brought a lawn chair and let her keep me company while I journaled, where she insisted that she crawl into my lap. Literally. She would start climbing into the chair with me. She was insistent on getting butt scratches, to the point that she would shove you with her head towards her butt until you started scratching. Scratching her giant, floppy mule ears was second-best. She knew no personal space and was so affectionate, clingy, and nosy.
I am grief and guilt-stricken. I cannot escape the image of seeing how my sweet Satine died. Losing a mule/horse is a grief I can’t even describe. It’s a connection that cannot be compared to anything else. I’m so incredibly grateful for the presence her soul had in my life- she brought me a joy that I will carry with me forever. by @baileyblvck

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3 days ago

Mold in my brain! Love in my heart! by @baileyblvck

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6 days ago

Just an absolutely impossible amount of events have happened in my life over the past 5 months. I started playing music again, bought a home that houses a family I love dearly, played soccer, and tons of other stuff I can’t think of right now.

Tons of good, tons of bad. Over all I’m doing well and life is good. The world’s pretty fucked up right now, but my little one is pretty damn good. by @baileyblvck

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a month ago

You’ve never seen two people more in love, btw by @baileyblvck

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2 months ago

First day of school was a success 🥺 I cannot believe I have a 2nd grader AND my littlest baby is now a kindergartener 🥺 These two are the best little boys I could ever hope for as a mom and I am so proud of them ♥️♥️ I definitely did come home and cry tho by @baileyblvck

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2 months ago

Just really locked in on housewife mode rn (I don’t leave my house and I only hang out with my kids and my pets) by @baileyblvck

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2 months ago

Dog-mommed so hard they won’t potty without my presence taken in Springfield, Missouri by @baileyblvck

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3 months ago

To know pookie is to love pookie. But I love him the most. Happy birthday to the loml!!!!! by @baileyblvck

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3 months ago

June was so good. A house was bought, bdays were had, a dog was gained, teeth were lost. I love my life ♥️ by @baileyblvck

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3 months ago

2 whole years together and they have been the best. I can’t believe the privilege to share a home and a life with you is mine ♥️♥️ by @baileyblvck

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4 months ago

The best weekend with the babies. Last time I was in Gulf Shores, Meech was in my tummy 🥹 The boys’ first airplane/beach experience was so special and we had so much fun 🤍🌊☀️ by @baileyblvck

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5 months ago