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Ella

@chronically_eggy

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Jesus, ramen & capybaras

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This will be one of the most vulnerable posts I will ever share.
I have a disorder that causes hair thinning and bald patches. Pictured is me about a week ago, with a large amount of hair missing from my head.
I have struggled in shame and in silence for a long while. I have tried to hide the fact that I am embarrassed and that I don’t love the way that I look. It has been hard, and devastating. I have cried alone many times. I have felt alone and isolated too.

I made the decision to shave my head again and cross my fingers and pray that the bald spots fill in quickly.
Sometimes I wonder why I have to go through all of this, but then I remember why not? Maybe this will make me stronger.
I am sharing this today because I feel like maybe if I saw more posts about this kind of stuff and more authentic posts on various platforms I wouldn’t have to feel like I was the only human going through this.
I also have learnt that there is SO much more to beauty than hair! What makes someone beautiful is their personality, their open mindedness, their compassion, their optimism, their honesty and their grace.
I am a strong woman and I pray that someday I will be proud of my whole story, not just the aspects that aren’t so scary.
I am so grateful to God for this journey, even amid all the complexities, heart ache, devastation and loss. In the grand scheme of things, He has blessed me immensely.
:)
“I know there’s a light that’s waiting up ahead, so I’ll stay in the fight and look to the one who says, hold on just a little bit longer, I know it’s gonna be okay, these days are gonna make you stronger, you’ll find purpose in the pain” #hairloss by @chronically_eggy

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3 years ago

This is a song I wrote for Phoebe Rose, an incredible tiny human who bravely battled childhood cancer for five years.
This November marks nine years since Phoebe’s light left here for heaven.
No one loses their battle to cancer, and while Phoebe was only here for a moment, she truly lived, thrived and loved and served as an example to anyone who was lucky enough to hear her story.
Her courage, love and strength inspire me to this day.
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I haven’t played this song very much since I played it at her funeral, but I have decided that from now on I’m going to play it whenever I can so that I can show the world that true courage is real and that love extends past death.
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This is taken from Phoebe’s obituary :
“Phoebe’s life was much too short, but in the time she had, she inspired and taught everyone who was blessed to know her. From Phoebe, we learned to love greatly, to laugh often, to be kind, to be heard, to always choose hope, and to never give up. Phoebe taught us the importance of moments and time, and with Phoebe, we seized the day. She inspired people around her to give back, to love, and to cherish each and every day”
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Childhood cancer needs more funding and research. Did you know some childhood cancers still have a 0% survival rate & that many treatments are decades old? Something has to change.
I added a link in my bio to Phoebes charity, please check it out.
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And to Phoebe’s family, and anyone navigating childhood cancer, I will use my voice to help make change, and I see you, and I’m holding you in prayer.
❤️
🎗️
(Also that is NOT my guitar and so it felt a little wonky to play, I am not a very versatile girlie haha, my pickup fell out of mine right before….forgive me) by @chronically_eggy

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2 years ago

I love to share my story because I think that it is important in helping other people who are navigating storms too.
There is no shame in suffering.
Perhaps through my vulnerability I can show people that they are not all alone in the valley.
I’ve known darkness too.
I pray that my story can serve as a testimony that hope is alive and that even in the darkness, the Lord is light, and He sustains.
God entrusted me with this life I believe because He knew I could live it and glorify His name through all I do.
I am alive today thanks to Him.
I want my life to be living proof that we serve a loving, good, all powerful & merciful God.
There have been moments in which I wasn’t sure I would pull through, or if I even wanted to, but by God’s grace, coupled with the love from my family & friends I am breathing this side of heaven, today.
“When it looked hopeless You said “I’m not done” & looking back I see what I’ve become, I am living proof there’s a God that’s real, I am living proof that Your hands still heal, my life my every breath tell of Your faithfulness, there’s nothing You can’t do, I am living proof” THAT IS A SONG BY @katynicholemusic if u don’t know her music & her story go educate urself cause it’ll be worth it!!!
:)
Please do not hesitate to reach out to me with prayers, or if you just need a shoulder. Here for u ❤️ by @chronically_eggy

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2 years ago

I love u @spicysage13 ❤️‍🩹 by @chronically_eggy

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4 days ago

Today is world mental health awareness day.
Every single day I am aware of mental health because mental illness has been a part of my story.
I used to feel shame, embarrassment and sadness for my journey.
Now I see it as an opportunity to become more empathetic, more understanding, more patient and more loving.
I still struggle with my mental health, daily, and some days seem so dark, but as it always does, every morning, the sun rises.
Life is hard, really hard sometimes, and there have been times that I wanted to die.
Now at the end of every day I thank God for the gift of time.
It won’t hurt forever, I am proof of that.

Keep fighting. Keep trying. And keep showing up for you.

You deserve to live, and laugh and feel the wind in your hair.

Suffering isn’t shameful.
It’s sometimes just part of being human. by @chronically_eggy

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8 days ago

Life is good by @chronically_eggy

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19 days ago

The first time I ever met Molly was when I was admitted to CHEO.
I was 15 years old, scared, alone, sick and tired. It was without a doubt one of the hardest times in my life.
None of the nurses or the doctors could console me.
Everything they tried to bring me back to myself had failed.
She was a last ditch effort to offer some comfort and distraction.
She walked into my room, sat on my bed and asked me if I wanted a brownie.
I said, “Sure” and she passed me a piece of brown construction paper she had cut into the shape of an “E”.
This was the first time in a long time that I laughed.
Molly knew the power of a laugh, the gift of a smile and the treasure of friendship.
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Molly came to visit me regularly during that long admission and each time she would bring me a little gift, stickers, small trinkets… cards, drawings…
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Even after my discharge Molly would reach out. Our relationship stretched across time, illness, and distance.
I would speak to her a few times a year, and she would always remind me of the power of my kindness.
She said it was my weapon that would allow me to beat what I was up against.
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Molly gave me hope when I had none and offered love when I hated myself.
Anyone who knew her will testify to what an amazing human being she was. I feel so fortunate to have loved her. I will carry her with me, and hold onto all that she gave me, laughter is medicine and Molly was healing. by @chronically_eggy

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25 days ago

This is so real by @chronically_eggy

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a month ago

Today was so beautiful celebrating the life of an amazing human.
There really are not enough words to express the magnitude of this loss, because when Bruce left here for the sky, the world changed forever & the sky got a whole lot brighter.
I am a better person because I got to witness his life.
I am so thankful to have had the privilege of knowing and loving Bruce.
Time this side of heaven is fleeting, and I learnt from Bruce to love now.
I will miss you so much Bruce, but I know that I’ll catch up with you again someday.
I feel you all around me now.
Thank you for raising the most amazing daughter and for being all that you were and are.
I have so many memories of getting to grow up together, birthday cakes, canoeing adventures, laughter… even some tears… every single memory will be written in my heart: beautiful moments I will cherish until I join you.
Whenever I see a beautiful rock, hear the call of a loon on a lonesome lake, smell a campfire, hear the viola, I will remember you with nothing but love in my soul.
On this side of heaven I will miss you, but I know you’re safe and I’ll catch up later ❤️‍🩹 by @chronically_eggy

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a month ago

@abigail_edgette !!!
Thank you so much for these sweet gifts.
My heart is so full!!
You’re so thoughtful, and it’s an honour to witness your light ❤️‍🩹 by @chronically_eggy

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a month ago

I feel so horrible. ALL BECAUSE OF A HOT DOG !!!! by @chronically_eggy

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a month ago

Don’t ask by @chronically_eggy

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a month ago