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Cindy

@cindya1

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followers

1354

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Wellness practitioner - silence breaker - adventurer - fierce mama & proud ally 🏳️‍🌈
✨Co-founder @cindrewsanctuary

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I have shared my survivor story - on more than one occasion. But the events of the past few weeks, have me triggered, again...

My abuse occurred at the hands of a family member. Someone who was supposed to protect me, who loved me and was just trying to "teach me" a lesson about boys.

Boys, who "only want one thing". As I was a teenager, that was a fairly accurate statement but NONE of my guy friends had ever sexually assaulted me. Thankfully!

My step-father did.

My abuse was over 45 years ago and I've learned how to spot a predator a mile away.

They're the IVY league student and/or spoiled little rich dude who was never given consequences. They're the ones who treat girls/women more like conquests, possessions - not equals.

Predators have a way of drawing people in - they may be well known in their community, they can be the school athlete, a politician or your supervisor. They use their charm as a disguise. A weapon to stoke disbelief.

I've learned that there are people who won't believe survivors when they come forward - even when it's happening RIGHT IN FRONT OF THEM!

As survivors, we know how the truth gets twisted - used against us. We’re the ones that have to answer the questions of “what were you wearing?”, “how much did you drink”, etc.

Despite the system that works against us, we learn how to break the cycle of abuse and heal, DESPITE who believes us, or not!!

We’ve learned that boys who don't face consequences for their actions, become men who don't fear accountability. They flaunt it like it's their privilege.

The Cornell (5)7 grow up to be the same ones in powerful positions because they have the "perfect pedigree".

Some go on to make laws that further attempt to dehumanize us. Hiding in plain fucking site. Mocking us.

My abuse occurred DECADES ago and yet, these predators are still among us, protected.

There are over 60 million survivors in the US - MOST who have NEVER received justice. I am one of them. We are tired, angry and we’re NOT going back!!

It’s time to change the system that protects predators - a GREAT place to start is at the TOP!!

#sexualassaultawareness #survivors #accountability by @cindya1

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9 days ago

4 years of adventures, sloppy kisses and unconditional love...

Happy Birthday to my favorite non-human, Winston!!
🐾💜🐾

#rescued #unconditional #mysweetboy by @cindya1

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a month ago

While in Cali to meet our granddaughter for the first time, I had the good fortune of participating in a FEM photo shoot. Because our flight was delayed, I was not able to take part in the group session. This was disappointing, as I was going to be doing this shoot with my bonus daughter, who had just given birth 5 weeks prior. However, Steph from @shinesphotography carved out some time to shoot me solo a week later.

And what an experience it was!!

While I was initially nervous, I was also SUPER excited because I know Steph, her work and knew that I would come away with some fun photos!

Before our shoot, I had to fill out a questionnaire and I found myself surprised that I still held onto the same body image issues (at 61!!) that I had as a teenager.

Like WTF?!?

I shared that I was feeling slightly insecure about some recent weight gain, body shifts and the BOLD decision to stop color treating my hair!

As we began the shoot, we started to share some personal experiences and I started to relax and have fun with it! In no time, I was no longer thinking about my insecurities, but about all the women I know who are critical of themselves for one reason or another.

Too much, not enough - too this, or that…

However, when women ask me what a FEM photo shoot is, I can tell you in one word - EMPOWERING!!

A FEM photo shoot allows our insecurities to melt away and our deepest selves to SHINE through. It’s a reminder that we are SO.MUCH.MORE than those few extra pounds, the greyish hair, the postpartum body, the crooked nose, etc.

As women, we are a culmination of ALL the women who came before us. All the battles they fought and all the roles we currently juggle. Seemingly effortlessly.

I was reminded of ALL the things I am despite my “imperfections”. Of all the mountains I’ve climbed. Literally and figuratively!

Of how much JOY there is, beneath the heaviness of it all.

For me, this shoot was a reminder that we, as women, are WAY more powerful than we give ourselves credit for.

Especially the collective.

So don’t let fear, insecurity or negative body image stop you from booking your own session now - you won’t regret it!! 💜 by @cindya1

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2 months ago

In our grandparent era 💖

#poppadrew #gcc #nextlevel #bestillmyheart #blessedbeyondmeasure by @cindya1

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2 months ago

I met this beautiful, wonderful woman on top of a mountain after photographing her bonus daughters proposal ✨

I’ve been connected to her and this family since meeting her other bonus daughter Kyra years ago. (Kyra has also done multiple FEMPOWER sessions!!😍)

Last fall I photographed one of their weddings!! Earlier this year another’s maternity session…. It will never get old being a part of these incredible moments and being intertwined with incredible humans like this whole crew.

When Cindy said she was interested in her own FEMPOWER session I am quite certain I squealed!!!! The whole session was incredible. The photos are fun of course but these fempower sessions always bring more than the photos - the connections, the conversations, the healing….. it’s straight up MAGIC ✨

Alsooooo - friendly reminder that the announcement is coming SOON for the:

@constellationcreek x @fempowerbyshines

COLLAB WEEKEND!!!!!!

#fempower #womenportraits #tahoephotographer #laketahoephotographer taken in Verdi, Nevada by @cindya1

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3 months ago

Happy Birthday to my forever guy - my favorite adventurer and party crasher!!

I am so very grateful for the gift of YOU @amfritzz!

Cheers to many more beautiful 🔁 around the 🌞!!

#happybirthdaytoyou by @cindya1

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3 months ago

Why is it when a man’s hair turns grey, the general consensus is that he looks more “distinguished”, but a woman who is going grey is “letting themselves go”?

In the 80’s, I had a lion’s mane of hair - thick, wavy and halfway down my back. I had BIG hair!!

My hair defined me; with never a strand out of place and certainly NEVER a grey hair exposed!

The decision to stop coloring my hair was one born mostly out of necessity. After battling severe eczema for 3 years (thank you autoimmune diseases), I finally succumbed to allergy testing to learn that the ingredients in products designed to “keep us young”, were the culprits. Products that are applied and then directly absorbed into the skin, were causing my issues.

In the last 6 months, I have found a freedom in “letting myself go”. No longer holding onto the thought that it’s some sort of accomplishment to “defy the aging process”. I am not brave for going the natural route. Brave are the roads I had to endure just to get here. Brave isn’t 3 hours in a hairstylist chair trying to outwit the aging process. It’s denial.

I don’t think coloring my hair keeps me young. It keeps me stuck. In societal beliefs that, as an aging woman, grey hair is “letting yourself go”. Instead, I choose to view it as a form of rebellion - an unleashing. A release from the idea that I am any less vibrant because of my hair color.

So rather than trying to defy the process, I intend to wear my grey hair as PROOF OF LIFE. A perfectly imperfect life.

No longer defying or denying the aging process, but fully embracing it.

One grey hair at a time…

Full essay on my substack: https://cindya21.substack.com/p/on-going-grey

#shades #proofoflife #rebellion #unleashing #greyhairrevolution by @cindya1

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4 months ago

Maine: Life as it Should Be...

#camplife #summerfeels☀️ #getoutside #adventuringtogether #liveyourlife

some 📷 by my love @amfritzz taken in Wells, Maine by @cindya1

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4 months ago

"Love has no gender - compassion has no religion -
character has no race."

~Abhijit Naskar

Happy Pride!!
🩷❤️🧡💛💚💙💜🖤🩶🤍🤎

#loveislove #proud #ally #lovewins by @cindya1

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5 months ago

One I birthed, two are a bonus, three are their incredible partners.

As a mama, I have MANY beautiful reasons to celebrate this day!!

To ALL who are celebrating, grieving or trying to make amends with their mama, may you be surrounded by those who make you feel like a freaking ROCKSTAR!! 🌟

#mothers #blendedfamily #rockstarfamily #blessedbeyondmeasure #grateful taken in Together by @cindya1

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5 months ago

Mom came home from the hospital today.

Again.

And, like the 6 times before, it was me, her only daughter, who facilitated the transition from hospital back home.

Before departing though, we had to make sure to speak with the case manager. They provided us with a nice folder listing her new medications, any follow up appts to be made and dietary restrictions.

Ha ha.

Dietary restrictions for an 81 year old woman who is now wheelchair bound AND 100% oxygen dependent.

Do we not think she is restricted enough?!

A once active and vibrant woman who can no longer produce an accurate blood pressure reading from either arm, was told to "watch her sodium intake".

Last year mom was advised that "if there is a cardiac event, there is nothing we can do."

Can you imagine hearing that and then booking a follow up appt for 6 months later?!

With no real medical reason for why?!

Hoping she's still alive for that appointment.

This year, she started showing signs of kidney disease and became severely anemic. So she was put on a protocol of monthly injections to help produce red blood cells.

Fearing she might have the same disease (MDS) her twin sister died of, 5 years ago.

Truth be told, mom started declining ever since losing her womb mate. Understandably.

But today, there was not ONE fucking question about her living situation.

Or if she had an aide.

Nope, today I had to be sure to have her portable oxygen machine with me.

Like seriously?!

Do they NOT know that it is ME that has been bringing this woman to every doctor's appointment for the last 4 years? That we bring that portable oxygen machine everywhere - we have plugs for the car, so she NEVER runs out??

Do they not know it was me that drove her to the ER, afraid that this time, we weren't going to make it?

That I have seen her on the brink of death more times that I care to?

That this is NOT my first fucking rodeo.

And more than likely, it won't be my last...

But sure, talk to me about her fucking sodium intake!!

#seasons #mothering #caregiver #healthcare #broken by @cindya1

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6 months ago

Democracy dies when good people stay silent!

#nokings #resist #antifa #8647 #humanityfirst by @cindya1

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7 months ago