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Destiny Ràel ✨| Trauma Informed Grief and Life Coach

@destinyrael

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Life has seasons. So do we!
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Remember when we were little and we counted our half birthdays🤣? I’m 8 and a half…

Well… I’m bringing that back.

Today I’m 50 and a half 🤣 Take two 🎬

If you’ve been following along, you know my 50th birthday wasn’t what I imagined. I had to let go of my sweet dog Mila the day before. I was grieving the sudden tragic loss of my dear friend Malcolm, which I still am. Missing my brother Joseph as always.

There were other shifts, changes and losses that happened too. It has been a tender season for sure. Not the milestone moment I had pictured.

And yet… here we are.

Halfway through this 50th year…. definitely was the snake era of shedding. 🐍 Now the Chinese New Year of the Horse 🐎which feels like movement, strength, momentum ans my half birthday… I am hoping and feeling a sense that something is turning…. towards the brighter side!

And in the middle of grief and transition, there has also been new life. New energy. New love. This little one, Josie, has come into my world and into my arms. Proof that we can still open. Still receive. Still let something beautiful in, even while our hearts are hurting and healing.

So today I’m celebrating the half.
The in-between.
The still grieving and still growing.

Here’s to the next season being expansive and aligned… and maybe even a little wild in the best way!! 🙏🏼🦋🤍🎂🥳☀️🌅🌄

50 and a half! Happy Half Bday to me 🤣🤣🤣✨

#halfbirthday🎂 #griefandgrowth #yearofthehorse #newbeginning #lifeandgrief by @destinyrael

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8 months ago

Last night, I got to see Billie Eilish perform and it was absolutely incredible!!! But when her brother, Finneas, came out to join her at the end… I lost it. Their bond, their magic…it hit something so deep in me.

The last conversation I ever had with my brother Joseph was on January 7, 2011,the day before he passed. We talked about starting a band together called “MATRANGA”-our family name. Just four days earlier, on January 3, the last time I saw him in person, we were working on a song together called “Eyes Eyes, Toast Toast.”

I still haven’t been able to listen to that song.💔

Someone in the music industry had told me we should consider pursuing music together as a duo, saying there hadn’t been a true brother-sister duo since The Carpenters. We were excited…dreaming, planning, imagining what could be. The last text I ever sent Joseph on January 8 was: “When are we finishing the song?”

Seeing Billie and Finneas perform brought all of that rushing back,the dreams, the music, the bond. Their connection on stage is electric, soulful, and rare. Watching them felt like witnessing something sacred…something Joseph and I had, too. Still have...

I wish we could have finished our song. 💔

Maybe we still will.

When I got home last night, Joseph’s ukulele was laying on my floor, perfectly placed. (You’ll see it at the end of the video.) At first, I thought there might’ve been a little earthquake in LA that caused it to fall-but nothing else was moved or out of place. I know it was a sign from him!

Some bonds are eternal, woven into the fabric of our souls. Joseph, you’re always with me. My forever bandmate. My soulmate.🕊️🕊️

“Birds of a feather… we are that.” 🕊️🕊️✨🎶🪽🪽

#brothersisterbond #musicheals #billieandfinneas #jobo #joseph #birdswithbrokenwings #griefandmusic #foreverbandmates #matrangamusic #whatcouldhavebeen #musicalconnection #alwayswithme @billieeilish @finneas #eyeseyestoasttoast #highfivejobo 🖐️ by @destinyrael

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2 years ago

Happy Birthday Jobo…. Staring at this pic trying to find words and there are never any other than I miss you more than words could express. Today you would be 47 and STILL hard to believe you are not here (on earth). You are NEVER forgotten. We are celebrating you today and always. My heart hurts you are not here with us… but you are forever in my heart. 1/6/1977 - 1/8/2011

My brother, My best friend, My Angel. I love you Joseph…Jobo…

#highfivejobo✋🏼 #brothersisterlove #birthday #missyou #angelinheaven #wishyouwerehere #joseph #jobo #january by @destinyrael

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3 years ago

It’s my Birthday! 51 years around the sun! ☀️What a year. What a journey.

I had this whole philosophical post planned about everything I’ve learned in these 51 years, and honestly, it all boils down to this:

I’m done trying to force myself to like sweet potatoes when what I really want is a good old-fashioned potato. 🤣🤣

And well, yes, I literally mean potatoes. I had this realization while trying to cook sweet potatoes because they’re supposedly the healthier choice, and I thought, you know what…I’m done. I don’t want to. 😂

But seriously, to me it symbolizes so much more!

All the ways we try to convince ourselves to like or want something, do things we don’t want to do, or be someone we’re not because the world tells us it’s better, healthier, wiser or what we’re supposed to choose.

Of course, there is wisdom in others and always more to learn. But there is also so much wisdom within us!🙏🏼

Our senses, our bodies, our hearts and our souls speak to us.

So what I’m taking forward into this new chapter is a deeper commitment to listening to myself and trusting that inner wisdom.

I want to want what I want.
Like what I like.
Do what feels right for me.
Be who I am.
And let that be okay!!

Now, pass me the potatoes. 🥔🤣

🎂🙏🏼🤍🐾☀️

#birthday #lifelessons #leo #august

My Birthday cake🤣🤣🎂🎂

Not a day goes by that I don’t think of my brother! My birthday is and every day is really bittersweet and never the same. I miss and love him more than words could ever express. This was my birthday in my early 30s and what I would give to go back and have him next to me like every year we celebrate celebrated! I love and miss you, Jobo! 🙏🏼😥💔 by @destinyrael

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101

2 months ago

Happy birthday to my mom, my first best friend. 🤍

I love you more than I could ever put into words. You have been there for me in every possible way, especially throughout this past year. If I so much as say “boo,” there’s an Amazon package waiting on my doorstep. 😂 You are the most generous and selfless person I know. You have taught me so much and have made such a difference and not only my life but so many others the ultimate caretaker ….soultaker! I am forever grateful for you!

I wish I could be there celebrating with you today. The older I get, the more I want to spend more time with you... still a work in progress!

My heart also hurts for you because I know these days will always be bittersweet. I say it every year because it is true, no birthday will ever feel quite the same without Joseph here.💔

What I know for sure is that we BOTH got the very best mom.
Happy birthday, Mom. I love you so much. 🤍

#leomom #birthdaymom #daughterbestfriend #happybirthdaymom @kvukela by @destinyrael

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2 months ago

New beginnings! 🤍🌴🎨

This week I had the privilege of bringing Color Your Soul to the incredible team at Coral Casino. @coralcasinobeachclub

Watching people pause to reconnect with themselves, express what words sometimes can’t and create something uniquely their own is such a gift to witness!

I’m beyond excited that this is just the beginning of our partnership, and I can’t wait to share more in the months ahead!

Color Your Soul is stepping into a beautiful new season, it is growing and I couldn’t be more excited to bring this experience into more spaces... and hopefully, to you. More to come! ✨🎨

#coloryoursoul #coralcasino #artandsoul #transformationalcoach #lifeandgriefcoach taken in Coral Casino Santa Barabara by @destinyrael

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3 months ago

Word for word…. Yet like she says, I too would need a dictionary and I don’t even know that that would even be enough to describe the feelings and emotions of the pain of such a significant loss. Because in a way, they’re really are no words…. Heartbreak of my life…

I agree with her… It’s not fair and it doesn’t make sense.💔🙏🏼🦋

#siblingloss #grief #brothersister #jayshetty #jobo by @destinyrael

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5 months ago

My 💜… My mom! I feel so truly blessed and grateful that you are my mom and my best friend. I do not take for granted that I can call you and you’ll always pick up, multiple times a day and always there for me. That kind of love and presence is such a giftand one I treasure more deeply as I get older.

I love you more than words could express! I know this day is bittersweet without Joseph here.. 💔 I’ve said it so many times, but I know that we both chose you as our mom in this lifetime and would every single time! We love you always and forever!
🤍🦋🙏🏼🐾🙏🏼💐

#mothersday #motherdaughter #angelinheaven #bestmomever #threepeasinapod by @destinyrael

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5 months ago

LIVE. LOVE. LAUGH…
My soul filled life this week in Santa Barbara reminded of what truly matters in my heart. Had the best time with my bestie,soul sister @colettecarlsson and my heart Josie 🐾🤍

This is my north star….✨

#offline #santabarbara #soullife #northstar #livelivelaugh taken in Santa Barbara, California by @destinyrael

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5 months ago

Major life changes carry inherent grief. Whether we initiate change by choice, or we experience an unexpected loss/change, the shift implies an ending and a beginning. A release, and in many cases, the decision to let go.

In this week’s episode of Grief and Light, we welcome trauma-informed life and grief coach, group facilitator, and sibling loss survivor, Destiny Rael (@destinyrael).

We explore living with grief and joy, and the shifts in identity, faith, and how purpose can emerge in the aftermath of devastation.

🎧 Tune into this episode on the GRIEF AND LIGHT™️ podcast available wherever you watch or listen:

🔍 Life After Sibling Loss: Identity, Faith & Following Your Destiny

We’re in this together.

💜
Nina Rodriguez @itsnrodriguez
Founder x Host @griefandlight

ℹ️ Comment PODCAST and I’ll send you the direct link to this episode. by @destinyrael

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5 months ago

“Grief and joy, the sense of purpose, meaning, and hope coexist. I’m living proof of it.”

The days that follow a major loss leaves us wondering if we’ll ever feel joy again.

The short answer is yes.

The longer answer is that it will be on your own timing, and it may look different than you expect.

Life after loss is a process of learning to live with joy and grief, side by side.

In this week’s episode of Grief and Light, we welcome trauma-informed life and grief coach, group facilitator, and sibling loss survivor, Destiny Ràel (@destinyrael).

We explore the duality of grief and joy, the evolution of identity after loss, faith, and how purpose can emerge in the aftermath of devastation.

🎧 Tune into this episode on the GRIEF AND LIGHT™️ podcast available wherever you watch or listen:

🔍 Life After Sibling Loss: Identity, Faith & Following Your Destiny

We’re in this together.

💜
Nina Rodriguez @itsnrodriguez
Founder x Host @griefandlight

ℹ️ Comment PODCAST and I’ll send you the direct link to this episode. by @destinyrael

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6 months ago

“It feels like half of me just got cut off.”

Losing a sibling is often described as feeling like an “amputation.”

However, a surprising yet relatable description that I often hear is that sibling loss can also feel like losing a “soulmate.” A reference that our culture typically reserves for romantic partners.

What I’ve found is that those who have lost their “born best friends” often describe sibling loss this way, which makes sense when we think about it.

Siblings lose our life’s witness. A part of our past, present, and future. Our best friends and the person we expected to be our life partner.

In this context, both “amputation” and losing a “soulmate” make perfect sense.

In this week’s episode of the GRIEF AND LIGHT™️ podcast, we welcome Destiny Ràel (@destinyrael), a trauma-informed life and grief coach, group facilitator, and sibling loss survivor, for a deeply personal and expansive conversation about what it means to live with grief and still create a meaningful life.

Destiny lost her brother Joseph who she describes as her best friend, creative partner, soulmate, and fellow musician, two days after his 34th birthday in January 2011. She has spent the years since learning how to carry that loss forward without leaving him behind.

We explore the duality of grief and joy, the evolution of identity after loss, faith, and how purpose can emerge in the aftermath of devastation.

🎧 Tune into this episode on the GRIEF AND LIGHT™️ podcast available wherever you watch or listen:

🔍 Life After Sibling Loss: Identity, Faith & Following Your Destiny

We’re in this together.

💜
Nina Rodriguez @itsnrodriguez
Founder x Host @griefandlight

ℹ️ Comment PODCAST and I’ll send you the direct link to this episode. by @destinyrael

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6 months ago