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Whit Wilfred

@iamwhitwil

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Storyteller | Therapist | Movement
🌱Wife to thee @barelyonschedule
🌱#teenboymom to Chris & Zay
Building a life I don’t need to escape from.

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56

7

3 months ago

I Tried to Make It “No Big Thing”… But God Said Otherwise

I told myself cutting my locs wasn’t deep.
Sometimes change is just… change.
Sometimes it’s nothing more than the freedom to choose.

But God showed me it was something else.

He reminded me of how impatient I can be when I don’t like how “messy” something looks. I started my journey with loc extensions that grew beautifully — longer and healthier than I’d ever imagined my hair could be.

Then boredom set in. I shaved my sides “just to see,” thinking it would quiet the urge for bigger change. But it didn’t. I colored it. Trimmed it. Combined thinner locs. My favorite loctician moved away. And by the end of 2024, I was talking to people about cutting them all off.

Most said, don’t do it.
A few close friends said, go for it.

So I waited… again.
And while I waited, I tried other things — smaller changes I could control, more predictable steps I could see clearly.

Then one day, as I was moisturizing my hair, I heard God say:

“This removal wasn’t about you.”

And in that moment, He brought me to the conversation He had with Samuel:

“How long will you mourn…? Fill your horn with oil and be on your way.” (1 Samuel 16:1)

I understood.
He was asking me the same thing.
How long will you half-step? How long will you hold on to what I already told you to release?

This wasn’t about hair. It was about obedience. It was about seeing what He created as beautiful, about patience, and about trusting Him when the process feels undone or unclear.

When you’re healing from being a high-functioning Black woman — constantly over-performing, over-carrying, and over-compensating — it’s easy to fill empty space with “the next thing.” But in this season, God has been calling me to give that space back to Him… not to rush to fill it.

So here I am.
No locs after 9 years.
Just a low cut, and a commitment to grow — slowly, patiently, and in step with what God is showing me.

I guess it is that deep.

And, @_mikewilfred_ loves it soooo we UPPPP!!!!! by @iamwhitwil

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10

a year ago

I was 9 years old, watching my grandmother host meetings in our home with seasoned Black women I affectionately called Auntie or another term of endearment reflecting respect and closeness. They would “spill all the tea,” plan events, count money, and keep things in order for Makalia Court No. 137, Adah Chapter, the Syrens—or even assist the men.

Being among them was a joy, but what resonated most was the deep sense of community and sisterhood they embodied. I watched my grandmother serve as a sounding board for her sisters and ran errands alongside them. Those moments shaped my understanding of leadership, care, and collective strength.

At 9, when my fourth-grade teacher asked what I wanted to be when I grew up, I said, “I want to talk to people on the couch.” I didn’t have the words to articulate the profession, but even then, I knew it was about more than therapy—it was about walking alongside women, my sisters, and my community through life’s peaks and valleys, creating spaces where they could be seen, heard, and supported.

Today, it’s an honor to be celebrated alongside 99 powerful, impactful, and audacious Black and Brown women. To be recognized as a business owner and therapist serving my community means everything. And to have this celebration curated by a visionary Black man, June Archer, makes it all the more meaningful.

I’m excited to be part of this beautiful moment and celebrate us!
___

Thank you to my sisters who choose to see me, hold space for me and nominated me. I appreciate and love y’all deeply.

#100WOCGala #HartfordHasIt #BlackHistory by @iamwhitwil

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80

2 years ago

The Dunk Is Nice. The Growth Is Better.

Watching my Isaiah step into his own is doing something to this mama’s heart. 🥹🏀

The growth. The confidence. The PROGRESSION. From where he started to watching him get UP there now?! Yeah… I’m proud proud. 😭🙌🏾

And as he bravely steps into his 9th grade year, I’m especially proud that he’s learning to embrace the path God has for him—even when it looks different from the path his parents or his big brother took.

There is something beautiful about watching your child discover who they are without needing to become who came before them.

Keep growing, Isaiah.
Keep jumping.
Keep becoming.
Keep trusting God with your own story.

Funny enough, while I’m supposed to be encouraging him… I find myself encouraged by my Isaiah. ❤️

#proudmama #freshmenyear by @iamwhitwil

126

25

a month ago

Late August Dump.

Fully grateful.
__

Here’s the question I’ve been bringing before the Lord, what are You inviting me to release, and what are You making room for?

#augustdump
#grateful by @iamwhitwil

46

3

a month ago

20 years of loving you.
9 years of holy matrimony.
And somehow, we’re still becoming.

Today, my husband and I celebrate 9 years of choosing, committing, and covenant with one another.

But these last 5 years? Whew. We’ve allowed ourselves to lean into new depths with each other—to be more honest, more vulnerable, more intentional. To learn each other again. To undo some things. Heal some things. Laugh through some things. Forgive some things. And keep choosing us through all of it.

Baby, I’m soooo grateful I get to do this life with you.

Cheers to 9 years of marriage and 20 years of us—courtship, baby-making 😂, raising these babies, bills on BILLS, mistakes, hard conversations, belly laughs, learning, unlearning, growing, dreaming, forgiving, becoming…and choosing the best version of us over and over again.

Not a perfect love story.
A lived-in one.
A prayed-over one.
A growing one.
A love we keep choosing.

And I’d choose you again. 🤎

Happy Anniversary, baby. I declare that we are standing in what is the GOOD part.

Thank You, God, for what You’ve built, what You’ve kept, and what You’re still becoming in us. 🙏🏾

Here’s to the next chapter. 🥂 by @iamwhitwil

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46

2 months ago

Take the picture. Take the video. Post the content. 🤎

Me and my sister made a little pact: stop waiting for everything to be perfect and capture the memory anyway.

The angle might be off. The lighting might be doing its own ministry. 😂 The video might have a hiccup or two.

But the moment? The moment was worth keeping.

So here’s your reminder—and mine: it doesn’t have to be amazing to be worth sharing. Create it. Capture it. Post it. Live it. ✨

#fyp #creativecommunity #postitfeelit by @iamwhitwil

79

8

2 months ago

No highlights. No filter. Just a grateful heart. Jesus in July ✨✨

#grateful by @iamwhitwil

19

2

3 months ago

Bibles & Bonnets: Winery Day, Year 3. 🍇

Three years ago, I couldn’t have imagined what God would build through a group of women simply saying “yes” to gathering. No pressure to perform. No pretending to have it all together. Just showing up—with our Bibles, our stories, our questions, our victories, our grief, and our laughter.

This year we gathered at Gouveia Vineyard, and somewhere between the music, the games, and the conversations that made the whole table pause, I looked around and thought, Lord, thank You.

I’m privileged to do life with these women.

To learn from them.
To be challenged by them.
To pray with them.
To laugh with them.
To witness the ways God is writing redemption into each of our stories.

They remind me that sisterhood isn’t about everyone being the same. It’s about making room for every woman’s story while keeping Christ at the center.

There have been moments when I wondered if Bibles & Bonnets had reached the end of its chapter.

This weekend reminded me it hasn’t.

Maybe it doesn’t need to end.
Maybe it just needs to be recentered.

Because what we have isn’t perfect—but it’s real.

And in a world full of curated friendships and highlight reels, real is a gift.

Here’s to Year 3.
To women who keep showing up.
To grace that keeps meeting us.
To a God who continues to write beautiful stories around ordinary tables.

To the sisters who couldn’t make it this year—you were missed, thought of often, and are still very much part of this community. One gathering doesn’t define our sisterhood.

Thank you, Lord, for reminding me that some things aren’t meant to be closed—they’re meant to be cultivated.

🤍

#biblesandbonnets #sisterhoodinchrist #womenwhogather #lifetogether by @iamwhitwil

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6

3 months ago

I thought I was going to the laundromat alone this morning.

Our washer is waiting on a repair, but a family of four still needs clean clothes.

Without me asking, my husband came anyway.

Marriage isn’t built on vacations, anniversaries, or grand gestures alone. It’s built in the everyday moments—broken appliances, early mornings, shared responsibilities, and choosing each other when no one is watching.

This morning reminded me that some of life’s sweetest memories are made in the most ordinary places.

Sometimes love sounds like the hum of washing machines and looks like someone simply saying, “You don’t have to do this alone.” 🤍

What’s one ordinary moment that made you feel deeply loved?

#marriage #forthelovers #fyp by @iamwhitwil

32

6

3 months ago

There are a lot of things I’m grateful for from this birthday weekend, but this… this deserves its own post.

My forever favorites.

My men. 🤎

Watching my husband and my boys love on me, celebrate me, laugh with me, and simply be with me reminded me that there is no greater investment than the one you make within your own family.

This weekend, my boys reached into their own paychecks to celebrate their mama. That wasn’t about the gift—it was about the heart behind it.

And my husband… he has always been my greatest encourager. He believes in me, supports my dreams, celebrates my wins, and quietly loves me in ways that have shaped the woman I’m becoming.

As I step into 40, I’m reminded that the life we cultivate within the walls of our home is one of our greatest legacies. Love isn’t built in grand gestures alone. It’s built in the ordinary moments, the sacrifices no one sees, the consistency, the prayers, the choosing of one another over and over again.

These three men are some of God’s greatest gifts to me.

If I accomplish nothing else, I pray they always know they were deeply loved, wholeheartedly chosen, and joyfully celebrated.

My forever favorites.

My greatest “yes.”

My heart walking around outside of me.

🤎

#FamilyFirst #MarriageMatters #BoyMom by @iamwhitwil

33

0

3 months ago

My birthday weekend is coming to a close, and before anything else… thank you.

Thank you for every prayer, every text, every phone call, every post, every gift, every hug, every laugh, every meal shared, and every intentional way you chose to celebrate me. I don’t take any of it lightly. I truly feel seen, loved, and cared for, and I’m incredibly grateful.

One of the greatest gifts God has given me has always been people. Looking around this weekend, I was reminded that the relationships He’s entrusted to me are among the clearest evidence of His love and faithfulness.

My friends asked me what I hope 40 looks like.

I smiled because the only way I could describe it was this…

I don’t look back on my 20s and 30s and see empty years. I see a life that has been wonderfully full.

God has allowed me to build a marriage, raise two incredible sons, pursue higher education, lead in ministry, build a business, and cultivate friendships that have become family. I’ve laughed deeply, grieved deeply, served faithfully, and watched His hand sustain me through every season.

That isn’t an empty life.

It’s a full one.

What feels different about 40 isn’t fullness.

It’s freedom.

For so long, I mistook fear for wisdom. I called it consideration. But many times, it was fear keeping me from saying the thing, trying the thing, or trusting what God had already placed within me.

Scripture often marks forty as a threshold—a season of preparation before what comes next. Looking back, I don’t see years that were wasted. I see years where God was forming me.

So I don’t step into this decade believing I’ve arrived.

I step into it believing He has been preparing me.

Here’s to #LivingOutLoud—not for attention, not for applause, but for His glory.

To choosing authenticity over approval.

To walking in integrity.

To stewarding every gift He’s entrusted to me.

More Christ.
More color.
More courage to obey.

“Commit your way to the Lord; trust in Him, and He will act.” — Psalm 37:5 🤎 taken in Boston, Massachusetts by @iamwhitwil

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26

3 months ago