Instagram story viewer> @imakeitrayner> Posts

Andrew Rayner

@imakeitrayner

4.8K

followers

4996

following

Susie Carmichael energy, always • Building bridges & creating inclusive spaces • Chicago born, SF resident • @baeblackboy • @lyricsf

POSTS STORIES REELS TAGGED

Romanticize your life. Do it now. It may just be the very thing you need.

I had the privilege of studying abroad in Lyon, France for 3 months in 2008. As I was leaving, I promised myself that I would live in France again someday. Fast forward almost two decades, I quit my job in August 2025 without a next step after realizing how deep in the mire my work was making me feel. My malaise had bled over into the rest of my life. Now was the time to make my promise a reality. I planned for April, because I’ve always loved the song “April in Paris.” The trip was to be my first time solo traveling. I hadn’t practiced French since Lyon. Last month, I took a deep breath and got on the plane.

The first few days were tough. My French was rusty and doing things alone was more challenging than I thought it would be. I kept wanting to turn and speak to someone. But by the end of my three weeks, I was transformed. I fell in love with doing the things I loved with myself. The only person I needed to turn to was me.

I ended up speaking French 70% of the time. In English, I find words to be a personal strength. But despite my language being limited, people in Paris were still able to see me. After one short conversation, a handsome man told me I had a “beautiful soul.” This trip reminded me of my superpowers; that as one friend said, I am a “walking community center.” I feel like I am out of the mire I’ve been in the last two years.

In the same way I feel free with my gay identity in San Francisco, I felt a freedom around being Black in Paris. I am still processing why that is and trying to learn from Baldwin and the writing of others. But I have some understanding now of why so many Black Americans have run away to France. Ella and Louis were right, “April in Paris, this is the feeling no one can ever reprise.”

Like Baldwin, I found a new home away from home. I plan to return to Paris annually if I can (for one, I need to retake my Baldwin picture at the correct bridge). But now that I am back in the States, I hope to bring the energy and lessons from Paris into my day-to-day. I want to carry Paris energy with me wherever I go.

[Continued in comments] taken in Paris, France by @imakeitrayner

228

15

5 months ago

Eat your heart out, Obama! 🤎
.
.
.
#melaninmagic #qpoc #gayblackmen #suitsupply #summer2024 #blackboyjoy #letthesunshinein #sunshine taken in Donner Lake, Tahoe National Forest by @imakeitrayner

418

25

2 years ago

A little magic to start the new year! ✨
.
.
.
#2025 #newyear #kente #breakfastofchampions #flyladytee #sanfrancisco #melaninmagic by @imakeitrayner

212

7

2 years ago

More practice! #procreate #c2c #animation #sketching #sanfransisco by @imakeitrayner

30

5

a month ago

I loved making this look for @imakeitrayner still and had yet to post styling! What was your favorite costume in the 5th element

Latex from Nordic and bunker!

#cosplay #latexfashion #5thelement #gaultier #costumedesign by @imakeitrayner

144

4

a month ago

My heart is still full of joy and compersion from celebrating @corky_corn and @urbanarch’s bachelor party last weekend. I can’t wait to celebrate your wedding as your officiant next month in Lisbon. I have learned so much about love from both of you and it will be one of the honors of my life to have the opportunity to play it back to you during your ceremony. See you soon!
.
.
.
#bachelorparty #chicago #loveislove #instagay taken in Chicago, Illinois by @imakeitrayner

129

10

a month ago

This summer marked the end of my time as a board member of the Lavender Youth Recreation and Information Center, Inc. During my four year tenure, I served as Board Secretary, Co-Chair, and sole Chair.

While we accomplished much more than I can list here, the experience came at a time that has felt particularly tumultuous for LGBTQ+ non-profits. I watched funds be readily given and taken away. I learned how organizations on the margins respond to bomb threats and other violence. I mingled in rooms of leaders trying to solve problems that shouldn’t have been theirs to endure in the first place. But there was also so much joy and laughter. There was an ever-present feeling that we could always improve. There was intense passion for the mission. For the first time in my life, I worked in community with people of all identities and walks of life, trying to make things better specifically for LGBTQ+ youth. It is said that you should be who you needed when you were younger. Over the last four years, we’ve endeavored to do just that, together. My inner child and outer adult are eternally grateful.

Thank you to @philllllipkim who nominated me for the board, to @gael_lalachavez who served as the ED during my membership, to @ryan__realized @mmilley and @theladybarahona for keeping me grounded, and to all the staff and other board members whose path I was fortunate enough to cross.

While my official time on the board is over, I am extremely excited to continue to support LYRIC from outside the Purple House. If you want to be a part of positively impacting young LGBTQ+ lives, I encourage you to follow @lyricsf and check out their website lyric.org for ways to support.
.
.
.
#sanfrancisco #lgbtqyouth #nonprofit #castro #LYRIC taken in The Pearl by @imakeitrayner

119

6

2 months ago

House Party, Vol.5: Back to School

We doubled our goal and raised $1k for my neighborhood public middle school! Thanks to all who attended and donated. And a special shout out to @morningduecafe for supporting our event with pizzas!
.
.
.
#latergram #houseparty #fundraiser #communityorganizing taken in San Francisco, California by @imakeitrayner

101

9

2 months ago

Still reeling from the love this past weekend at @taylor_haines and @noahgreen88’s wedding. It was such a delight to celebrate one of my oldest friend’s nuptials. Thank you for treating me like family. And WOW! Your community is STRONG! I’ve never seen anything like it! If the true test of who we are is who we surround ourselves with then you both have nothing to worry about, ever. Wishing you all the joys life can bring on your journey together and can’t wait to come hang in Portland soon!
.
.
.
#wedding #oregon #brotherfromanother #bestfriends #foundfamily taken in McKenzie Bridge, Oregon by @imakeitrayner

85

6

2 months ago

Dear Mikey,

I am so proud of you for moving (and back to my hometown, no less)! You are gonna set the city ablaze. I can’t wait to bear witness.

In contemplating your departure, I’ve had so many thoughts I wanted to articulate, but it is said that the most magnificent things we experience in life leave us with few words. You, my friend, have rendered me speechless. So, I will borrow language from another. I once heard a guest on Brandon Kyle Goodman’s podcast “Black Folx” describe life for marginalized people as often feeling like wandering from one oasis in the desert to another. I want to thank you, Michael, for being a refuge for me. I’ve learned so much from you. I’ve laughed and cried so many times with you. And most of all, I’ve found a home with you.

Luckily, I know this isn’t goodbye. I can’t wait for the next time that we get to giggle under the shade of each other’s branches again. Good luck! Remember: you are deeply loved, you can do anything you put your mind to, and you can always ask for help. Call me soon.

All my love,
Andrew
.
.
.
#bestfriends #movingday #instagay #sanfrancisco #chicago taken in San Francisco, California by @imakeitrayner

106

2

2 months ago

In the summer of 2020, four fellas convened in a backyard in San Francisco and decided to be a Covid pod. Six years later, this quartet has remained my core group of friends in San Francisco. Soon, the fellowship will break as one of our number is moving away.

We spent this past weekend on a boys trip to Sacramento. It was full of curly wigs, delicious food, tremendous heat, Baywatch, and a lot of laughter. As I think about our origins and this current moment of departure, I am struck by a similarity: we didn’t know what to expect from the future and we were all a little scared. What I am certain of now after all this time as a group is that the ones you care for and that care for you are how we survive and thrive. We are on the same team. We face the unexpected together.

While I am sad that our time living in the same place has come to an end, I am so excited for what is to come for all of us. I know that while we may be apart, we’ll continue to root for each other, send love, and share laughter just like we always have since the day our journey together began. I love you guys. Thanks for everything and I can’t wait for our next adventure.
.
.
.
#bestfriends #latergram #instagay #loveislove #california taken in Sacramento, California by @imakeitrayner

147

8

2 months ago

Trans and queer folks were brutalized by SFPD at two events this Pride weekend, in what many of us say is “the safest city for LGBTQ+ people in the world.” We still have work to do. We will always be here and always be proud. Keep dancing. 🏳️‍🌈🏳️‍⚧️✊🏾
.
.
.
#pridemonth2026 #instagay #sfpride #dolorespark #melaninmagic taken in San Francisco, California by @imakeitrayner

391

6

4 months ago