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KYLIE HINGSTON

@intentional_self

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And then one day… she chose to live with intention.
Musings from my inner world 🤍
Work with me → @intentional_self_co

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A little reminder for the woman who might be feeling that little pull to change something in her life.

One of the most beautiful things about getting older is realising that we don’t actually have to keep living the way we always have.

The things we no longer tolerate.
The habits we decide to give up.
The way we care for ourselves.
The people we allow into our lives.
The things we give our energy to.

And the person we choose (because we can choose) to become.

I’m not talking about having it all perfectly figured out, and I am definitely not talking about getting everything right.

I’m talking about being a little more intentional with the life we are choosing to live.

Because somewhere in our 40s.. I think a lot of us begin to realise that we don’t actually want to spend the rest of our lives doing things just because that’s how we have always done them.

We realise we want to actually feel good.
We realise we want to feel free.
We actually want to enjoy our lives.
We want to be proud of the way we are showing up for ourselves.

And perhaps we finally realise that we don’t need to wait for permission to do that.

Kylie x

#womenover40 #mumof4 #alcoholfree #findingmyself #discovery by @intentional_self

My husband and I celebrated 3 years alcohol free in August… which is something we are both so incredibly proud of.

It would be safe to say we consumed alcohol almost every single day. So to have reached this milestone… still amazes me.

If you need any suggestions on who has the best mocktails… I am your girl 🍸

Kylie x

#alcoholfree #sober #alcoholfreelife by @intentional_self

Grateful for the freedom to choose.

Grateful for my family.
Grateful for my hardworking husband.
Grateful for the little business I have built… and will continue to build… around our family.

And completely at peace with knowing I cannot do it all at once 🤍

Success looks different for everyone.

Kylie x by @intentional_self

I have always had a bit of a strange relationship with social media.

I love connecting with people. I love sharing my work.. my thoughts.. the little moments of life.

It’s almost like a mini self healing session for me when I share my thoughts out loud. Getting it out of my mind and off my chest.. onto paper (or notes app) (Is that even a thing? Well.. it is for me)

But the fear of being seen? That’s something I have struggled with for a very long time.. as long as I can remember.

Which is kind of insane, because as a kid, I wanted to be a famous singer 🤣 Imagine? That would be absolutely terrifying for me as an adult.

One-on-one or in small groups, I’m perfectly fine. Put me in front of a big group and I forget what I’m saying, I muddle my words.. I even stutter when I am really nervous.

But this.. my friends, is something I am dead set on working through ❤️‍🔥

And I think there’s something quite interesting about that, especially when so much of my work involves holding space for other women to feel safe, supported and seen.

I am still learning to offer myself that same space.

The past few years have really challenged me to look at the ways I cope with discomfort.

Because disappearing (Or alcohol) has always been an option for me.

The easiest. The fastest. Deleting a page. Walking away. Starting again. Disappearing when things get hard.

BUT.. there is another way.

I can also allow myself to move through the hard stuff without erasing myself.

To allow myself to be seen without feeling like I need to control how I am perceived.

And perhaps that’s what this little corner of the internet is becoming for me.

A space to share when I have something to say. To have a little more fun with it all. Without the pressure to constantly or consistently show up.

And without feeling like I need to disappear every time I feel uncomfortable.

And perhaps something I share might help another woman feel a little less alone.

And that.. to me.. feels ABSOLUTELY worth it 🤍

Kylie x

#fearofbeingseen #fearofrejection #socialmedia #youcandohardthings by @intentional_self

I received so many DMs about my decision to give up alcohol, so I decided to share another post about it.

This post took me AGES to put together 🤣 and halfway through… I honestly thought… why am I even doing this? It takes up so much time (canvas spell check is not that great) 🤪🙊🤦‍♀️🤣

But… I know how much reading posts like this helped me. And I really do enjoy creating these… this one just took longer than usual. (Busy mum of four / self employed things)

A little disclaimer… this is my own experience of giving up alcohol and the things I have learnt along the way.

There is absolutely no judgement here, and definitely no preaching. I am just PROUD I’ve been able to achieve this.

We all have our own relationship with alcohol, our own experiences and our own reasons for the choices we make.

I am just sharing what life has looked like for us and our family without alcohol, including some of the things I never expected when we first stopped drinking.

If any of this resonates with you, I hope it helps you feel a little less alone. And if it doesn’t, then that’s completely OK too.

Also how good does this Dragons Breath Mocktail from @kingofsnake.chch look? It is my absolute fave!!

Kylie x

#alcoholfree #sober #alcoholfreelife #soberliving #soberlife by @intentional_self

THE PERMISSION SLIP SERIES

I had soooooooo much fun making these 🤍

And then when I went searching for the audio… I came across this song from “Bachelor Girl” @bachelor.girl.official

I had this CD… or perhaps it was a cassette?? 🤣

I had completely forgotten about this band, and I have absolutely no idea where that CD has gone, but this song IMMEDIATELY took me on a trip down memory lane 🥹🤍

Which seems to be the theme of this whole weekend.

I am off the save this album on Spotify ❤️‍🔥❤️‍🔥❤️‍🔥❤️‍🔥

Which one is your fave??

Kylie x

#thepermissionslip #beyourself #nostalgia #life
#permission by @intentional_self

18 months of growing out my greys
🩶🩶🩶🩶🩶🩶🩶🩶🩶🩶🩶🩶🩶🩶🩶🩶🩶🩶

When I began this journey, I don’t think I fully appreciated just how much of an adjustment it would be for me.

Then there is also the actual hair itself 🙊🤣

The regrowth, the new texture to get used to, the in between awkward stage and then throw in learning how to work with a completely different colour palette. (Nothing felt familiar anymore)

But there is also the mental side of it. (Quite possibly the most difficult aspect for me)

Getting used to seeing yourself differently… wondering whether it suits you??? Having days when you absolutely love it and then other days when you wonder why the hell you are even doing this?????

And then… on the flip side… there is the freedom that comes with no longer feeling like you need to cover up something that is naturally happening… and will continue to happen.

I have definitely had moments when I have wanted to give it all up, but I am SOO GLAD I have kept on going.

If you are thinking about growing out your greys, I hope this gives you a little insight into what you might expect along the way 🩶

Have you ever considered it? And if you have already grown yours out, what have YOU learnt along the way?

And it helps that I spent the majority of my working life as a hairdresser, so I have picked up a few things along the way.

If you are growing out your greys too and would like to know what I use on my hair, my favourite bronzing mist, or my shampoo, conditioner and heat protectant recommendations, just comment GREY and I will happily share them all with you.

Kylie x

#greyhair #greyhairgrowout #grey by @intentional_self

(This could even relate to motherhood, or relationships… but for me, it’s the work that I do/ADORE)

When we love what we do,

When we have poured our heart and soul into it,

When it has given us so much purpose,

It makes sense that eventually it becomes part of our identity.

Sometimes we can cling so tightly to that identity without even realising we are doing it… it can be very subtle.

And lately I have been thinking about how much of ourselves and what makes us unique… can sit outside of what we do for work.

For me personally… Sometimes I actually forget that in my everyday life… I can wear perfume 😂

That I can wear nail polish.

Have my hair blow waved nicely.

Wear whatever I feel like wearing.

I miss that side of myself sometimes.

But the truth is… there are things I consciously choose not to do in my work as a holistic energy and bodyworker.

I like to keep myself neutral. I want my clients to have space to be themselves, without my personal expression influencing their experience.

And I love that I choose to do that at work.

But sometimes I forget that I can be both… I can express myself outside of my work… (I just forget)

I can be the woman who holds that neutral space for others… and the woman who loves perfume, pretty nails, beautiful hair… and getting dressed up.

She’s still there.

And perhaps that’s what I have been remembering lately.

SHE IS STILL THERE ❤️‍🔥❤️‍🔥❤️‍🔥

There are parts of ourselves that don’t have anything to do with our job/occupation… there is a woman underneath the “role”

The are parts of us that existed before the title or the business/career.

Then there are the interests we haven’t even explored yet… what a beautiful thought that is 🤍

There are also the little pieces of ourselves we pushed to the side while we were busy becoming who we thought we needed to be… just waiting to be rediscovered.

So here is my take from it all…

Wear the perfume.
Paint the nails.
Get the hair done.
Put on the outfit just because we love it.
Do what makes you happy.
Be a living paradox.

And remember that you are allowed to be many things.

We don’t have to choose one version of ourselves... or fit nearly in a box.

Kylie x by @intentional_self

I feel like I’m on the edge of a whole new identity.

How many times is too many times to reinvent yourself? (asking for a friend) 🙊😂

Peri? Midlife crisis? Identity rebrand? Boredom?

Who knows??? (remember I am asking for a friend)

Anyway…

Three weeks of being unwell has given me A LOT of time to think.

When you take away all the things you normally do… work, clients, exercise, rushing around, mum duties… you are left with a whole lot of time to just…

BE…

And it’s got me thinking about how much of my identity has been wrapped up in what I do.

Mum.
Wife.
Business owner.
Organiser.
Body worker.
Energy worker.

Basically the CEO of everyone else’s lives. 😂

I’ve had four kids.
Been with my husband for 23 years.
Been a hairdresser.
Been a stay at home mum
Had cancer.
Quit drinking.
Built intentional self.

I’ve lived a lot of life.

And somewhere along the way, I think I forgot to check in with the woman underneath all those roles.

Like…

Who even are we these days? 😂

Because I’m definitely not the same woman I was at 25.

Or 30.

Or even 35.

And honestly?

Thank god for that. 😂

But I’m also realising I don’t completely know this version of me yet.

What she likes.
What she wants.
What she’s into.

And weirdly…

I’m excited about it.

Maybe I don’t need to “find myself”.

Maybe I just need to become curious.

Try things.
Change my mind.
Follow what feels good.

Create a life that actually feels like mine.

So maybe this is a midlife rebrand. 😂🤍

And honestly?

That excites me very much ❤️‍🔥

Kylie x by @intentional_self

I think we are actually living the good old days right now… it’s alway right now.

Those days we once wished away because they felt too hard??? Funny how, when we look back, we often wish we could relive those days all over again.

I may be 41 now, wishing I had this advice at 30… But I can almost guarantee you that in another 10 years, I will be wishing I had these messages again.

Because these ordinary days… the ones we are living right now, the ones that don’t feel particularly special… are actually our life.

How we spend our ordinary days is how we spend our life.

There will be seasons where some things need to take a back seat. But maybe we don’t need to wait for the next chapter… The next milestone… The next version of ourselves… Before we accept and love ourselves and our lives exactly as they are.

Maybe this is actually it… Right now.

Because it’s always now.

Maybe we are already living the days we will one day wish we could have back.

Just some food for thought.

Kylie x by @intentional_self

My love affair with camo print continues. I had a real pair of these in my late teens… I am sure they belonged to my dad… I remember LOVING them so much! So glad they are back in fashion.

A cute bralette (not that you can see it 😂)… because it’s sports bras only for this gal when she’s working in the studio. Comfort is key with the work I do.

My favourite leather jacket… leather is one of my fave fabrics, and it’s FREEZING today.

Cute wee studded ballet flats… I spend my work days barefoot, so it’s nice to dress up my feet for a change.

When it comes to my work, I don’t wear shoes or socks. I like being able to feel the ground beneath my feet. This may sound a little weird, but I feel more connected to the earth and grounded in my own body when I work barefoot.

And then there is everything else I can’t wear for work…

Jewellery: Watches, wedding rings, bracelets… I can’t wear any of those to work. It’s not exactly practical for the work I do 😂

Hair on my face: I can’t stand having my hair touch me while I’m working. It gets in the way… distracts me… and sometimes gives me a rash. Weird, I know 🙊🤣 (while I’ve been growing out my greys… it’s been a lot of slicked back do’s)

Makeup: Because I sweat it all off! Massaging in a warm room often feels like I am working in a sauna.

Perfume: When I am working, I go completely off the radar scent wise. No perfume… nothing. I am practically not even there 🤣

Jeans and all the heavier bottoms: Massage and bodywork are basically exercise, so my work clothes need to be practical. But on my days off, especially when I have something nice planned (today it’s lunch with my mum for her birthday) you will usually find me in some kind of denim.

And honestly… I love getting dressed just for the fun of it. (I have realised I either look homeless, in work clothes, or dressed in my faves…. There is no in between.

Sometimes I just want to play with clothes, jewellery and beauty because I LOVE them. No other reason needed.

So basically… on my days off, I am making up for all the things I can’t wear while I’m working 🤣

Kylie x

Camo Pants + Top @decjuba
Studded Ballet Flats @jomercershoes
Leather Jacket @thepeoplevs by @intentional_self

I’ve tried to put Intentional Self into a neat little box.

Keep it professional.
Keep it “business only.”
Keep the personal stuff over there and the work stuff over here.

I’ve tried.

But I’ve realised… I just can’t box her in.

Aka… I can’t box myself in.

I’m not boxable 😂

I love to share. Maybe too much. I’m not really sure. But I love sharing my inner thoughts… what I’m learning… what I’m moving through… what’s happening in my world.

So why do I keep trying to put myself in a box?

I like to feel organised. Prepared. In control. Very organised perhaps? 😂

But deep down, there is this huge desire to feel completely free.

Not pinned in.
Not controlled.
Not definable.

FREE.

I find myself going around and around in circles.

“Business page only.”
“You share too much.”
“Maybe just share your work.”
Then I get the ick because I don’t want to just sell to people.

In fact… to be honest… I don’t really want to sell at all.

I want to share.

And if you resonate… perfect.
And if you don’t… why? 😂

Just joking. That’s perfect too.

I’m not entirely sure what this latest revelation means, mainly because, if you have been here for a while, you will know I’ve been here before. Many times 🤪

Round and round and round we go. 😂

But recently… when I looked at this page… it just didn’t feel like me at all.

It felt like it was trying to be what she thought she should be.

And it didn’t feel like Kylie.

So I’m relaxing the grip.

I’m relaxing the need for this page to be anything other than whatever the fuck it wants to be.

And that might depend on my mood.
My hormones.
Where I’m at in my cycle.
What energy has moved through me that day.
What’s happening in my inner world.

Because my inner world inevitably dictates how this page feels to me.

And honestly?

I want this page to feel free.

Intentional Self and I can be one and the same, without needing to be neatly defined.

I have tried separating the pages.

Business.
Private.
My inner world.

And that’s just too much for me to manage.

What gets posted where? What gets posted there? Now I am confused 😂

Which version of me belongs on which page?

*continued in the comments… by @intentional_self