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Josef Andrew Miklavc

@josefwho

53.5K

followers

2339

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Grew up in 6 countries
Quit my job at 30
First relationship at 31
Big smiles, honest reflections
📍Euro road trip 🚙

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I’m 30 & I’m a little embarrassed to admit…

1. I’ve never been in love.

Romantic relationships are something I’ve always struggled with. It’s not something I talk about much. I’ve had my share of connections but my inner avoider seems to stop me from opening up fully, probably out of fear of getting hurt.

2. Despite what it looks like online, I don’t have it figured out.

I quit my job to chase something more but the reality is it’s not very clear and I have doubts about what I’m doing almost every day.

3. I use perfectionism as a vehicle for avoidance.

Whether it’s posting a video, launching a product or having a tough conversation. I often tell myself its not quite ready yet or its not the right time. Perfection doesn’t exist, yet it’s a trap I still fall into.

4. I get stuck in my own head. A lot.

Overanalysing. Overthinking. Trying to optimise every aspect of my life. It’s helped me succeed in some areas but held me back in many others. ChatGPT has been my unofficial therapist and a phenomenal tool for self reflection. But I sometimes worry that I get caught in my own echo-chamber.

5. I often use travel as an escape.

As a way to run away from reality or distract myself from figuring out what I’m actually going to do with my life. It’s worked for a while, but lately, I find myself craving consistency and connection more than novelty and adventure.

6. I have a complicated relationship with my mum.

It’s something I’ve struggled with for a long time. I find it difficult to speak about but it’s shaped a lot of who I am. It’s something I’m trying to work through.

7. I often feel like I need to prove my worth to be liked.

I’ve always had this underlying feeling that I need to entertain, impress, or provide value for people to want me around. I’m learning it’s okay to just exist and not perform all the time.

How about you?

#life #personalstory #journey #trendingaudio #foryou #journalling #vulnerability #selfreflection #growth #healing #travel #mentalhealth #honesty #connection by @josefwho

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a year ago

Life is all about connection.

I’ve had to rebuild my life more times than I can count.
It’s taught me a lot.

I don’t share this for sympathy, but hopefully to inspire others to go back out into the world.

The world is becoming lonelier, more disconnected than ever.

I’m fearful of its impact.
I’ve been there.

Go message a friend you haven’t spoken to in a while.
Say hello to the person sitting next to you on the bus.
Make an effort to connect with someone.

It’s what life is about.

Good luck.

#lonliness #lonely #friendship #relationships #mystory by @josefwho

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4 months ago

For the first time in my life, I have a girlfriend.

Sounds like something a teenager should be writing.
But the truth is, I’ve never asked anyone.
I’ve never been in a relationship (or “situationship”) longer than 4 months.

31 years of being the single friend.
I’ve been lucky to share some connections along the way.
But I’ve never been able to commit or fully open up.
Maybe fear of getting hurt, or not finding the right person.

6 months ago I was feeling pretty hopeless about it all.
Modern dating is hard.
My childhood affected me more than I was admitting to myself.
I put up walls and kept people out.
I got good at being by myself.
But deep down, I always knew I wanted to find someone.

So I started going to therapy.
I started thinking more deeply about what I wanted.
Continued to put myself out there.
And never gave up.

2 months later, out of seemingly nowhere, I met someone.
She was on holiday in Vietnam and lives on the other side of the world.
After spending 4 days together, something felt different.
I felt like I could be myself around her.
I knew I had to see her again.
So we did long distance for 3+ months before we saw each other again.

Last week, after travelling Albania and Montenegro together.
I asked her to be my girlfriend.
She said yes.
And I couldn’t be any happier.

Meet Amy 👫

#relationship #longdistance #LDR taken in Kotor, Montenegro by @josefwho

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2 months ago

Welcome to my page :)

“Where are you from”
Is the question I get most and the one I still can’t answer properly. It’s a bit of a long story…

I was born in Mexico.
To an Austrian father and Indonesian mother.
Grew up in six countries.
Found out I was ethnically Chinese at 30.
I’ve held three nationalities & only speak the language of one of them.

That upbringing gave me a lot. It also made me very good at being alone, at leaving, at starting again, at keeping people at arm’s length without really noticing I was doing it.

It took me three decades to work out that the thing I’d been chasing across all those countries wasn’t a place. It was people.

So that’s what this page is about.

Connection.

With yourself, with each other, with the world.

Told as honestly as I can, by someone still figuring it out.

It’s been a while since I properly introduced myself, so:

Hello, my name is Josef.
Nice to meet you all & thanks for being here.

What’s your story? Where are you from? :)

#introduction #intropost #whoami #story #mystory by @josefwho

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3 months ago

The embarrassing truth of an avoidant ➡️

Sometimes our brain invents stories to keep us safe.

Sharing my journey in the hopes it can help others on theirs.

#relationship #relationships #avoidantattachment #avoidant #longdistancerelationship by @josefwho

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a month ago

I’ve run out of digital ink by @josefwho

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13 days ago

POV your girlfriend surprises you with Champions League tickets 🥺

This is the first time a partner has surprised me with a gift like this.
For no particular reason, no occasion, just because she thought I would like to go and that it would be fun to go together (she was right).

When she told me, I couldn’t really believe it.
Unprompted, she decided to spend the money, make the effort and take the time. For me…

Warmed my heart 🫶
This relationship business is quite beautiful 🥲

We were both hoping for PSG to win. But with the game at the Etihad, sitting amongst Man City fans, we didn’t want to draw any attention.

So I surprised her with these finger puppet Little Moles from Prague that happened to wear the PSG colours as a beanie.

Final score 4-2 to PSG.
Great game, even better company.
Thank you @_amyvo 🙂

#championsleague #PSG #relationship #mancity #couple taken in Etihad Stadium by @josefwho

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5 days ago

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3 months ago

Bring back cringey Facebook statuses by @josefwho

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a month ago

Are we chasing an illusion?

#quitmyjob #entrepreneur #life #30 #30s by @josefwho

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5 months ago

Farewell Da Nang 🇻🇳

It’s always sad leaving a place that feels more like home every time.

This is my 4th season here since 2023.

From the sunrises on the beach to the incredible lifestyle, there’s plenty to like.

But ultimately, it’s the people I will miss the most.

Feeling bittersweet heading into my next adventure.

But I wouldn’t have it any other way.

Grateful to be bitter, as it means I experienced something worth missing.

And matched with sweetness, as I’ve got so much to look forward to.

I’ve got a stacked 3 months in Europe mapped out in my spreadsheet 🤓

Da Nang, Vietnam - you will be missed. But I’ll be back again next year.

Until then, take care (of yourselves and each other)

Europe, I’m coming for you.

First up: Lisbon, Portugal 🇵🇹

📸 @sebazpictures

My full guide on visiting and living in Da Nang linked in my bio 🔗

#danang #vietnam #digitalnomad #farewell #bittersweet taken in Da Nang, Vietnam by @josefwho

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3 months ago

Mister Universe Update 👑🇮🇩⬇️

I’m officially stepping down from my title as Mister Indonesia and will no longer be participating in the Mister Universe competition (@themisteruniverse).

This has been on my mind for a while.

When I was first offered the opportunity, I was hesitant. Pageantry wasn’t exactly on my bingo card, but I’d just quit my job and the universe literally handed me something that felt too good to be true.

But representing Indonesia felt like a stretch from the start.

It’s been part of my story all my life, but not a place I’ve ever felt connected to. I’ve never lived there, don’t speak the language, and have very little contact with my family from that side.

I thought this would be a chance to reconnect with my roots. I started learning the language, researching the history, and planning to visit Jakarta.

Then the competition got delayed... 3 times.

Communication from the organisation has been poor, and I heard whispers of some questionable practices.

A couple months ago, I found out my family on that side is ethnically Chinese and they’ve all left Indonesia. The connection I thought I had got even weaker.

Being mixed race means belonging is something I’ve always struggled with. I’ve been sitting on this decision for months, trying to rationalise my way in or out.

Part of me doesn’t want to let go. The title, the validation, representing a country on an international stage, being recognised and seen.

But it no longer feels right to be Mister Indonesia. Or not right enough.

I’m stepping down to focus on the things that align with who I actually am and what I’m building.

Thank you to everyone who supported me.

#misteruniverse #indonesia #pageant #mruniverse #indonesian by @josefwho

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5 months ago