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Jami Cakes

@msjamicakes

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Just here for the dogs. Chef, farmer and vegetable nerd. 🏳️‍🌈1/2 of @marimachapdx. All of @llenapdx.

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The thing is, that I have too many words to say about this trip. About these photos. About the constant slide show that plays over and over in my mind of the three weeks spent with the person who is without a doubt, my soul sister. As I stare back at the images captured through the lens of someone else’s eye, I see a girl whose smile can’t be contained. I don’t see the things about myself that I hate and pick apart every hour of every day, because all I can see, is pure and utter happiness. I know I’m not alone in this, as someone who’s had disordered eating since I was 8, and body dysmorphia for as long as I can remember, the strongest hatred for who and how I look, to stare at these images and not be repulsed by them, is miraculous. To be so focused in on the girl in these photos exuding so much joy, that it feels like a different version of myself, inspires me to want to make that version a reality. I’m my truest self, at the ocean, surrounded by silliness, and picnics, and salty skin, and ocean hair that i don’t wash because soon enough it’ll be back in that water, again, and again, and again. And my skin will be bronzed, and I’ll let peach juice drip down my arm in the heat of the day while my skin tans, and wash the stickiness off in the waves. I promise myself, that soon enough, that life will be mine, and I’ll smile like the girl in these photos all the time, because it won’t be a trip, it’ll be my everyday. So thank you, sun. Thank you moon. Thank you Maggie. Thank you mama Teresa. Thank you both for the chaos and giggles, and endless entertainment. And for continuing to find bits of sand weeks later back here in Oregon. I hated how much sand you dragged in, but now it feels like sea glitter showing up when I least expect it, and sparking an immediate grin. Thank you ocean. Thank you tiny narrow roads that should not have been 2 ways. Thank you 3€ wine. And the wood that made our grill fires. And the cheese we ate. And the eclipse that brought us all together. I’m endlessly at nature’s beck and call, for she tells all if we listen, and I finally am. Thank you Spain. Thank you Portugal. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. by @msjamicakes

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a month ago

Danced our way into the hearts of Portugal (and a little of Spain). No one I’d rather do it with than my soulmate and sister @mstaas93.
We missed you Mama Teresa and your fantastic tits @wildfeather3 taken in Portugal by @msjamicakes

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2 months ago

He would have loved you. He would have run to you with his hands out limp and squealed “hi puppy” like he did to every dog, even though you’re 6 years old. He would have loved this bouquet. A man after all of the flowers he could ever have, bouquets lining the empty spaces in the home. He would have been eating fried chicken, or the lobster pasta he always wanted on his birthday that my mom and I would take hours, days, fortifying a rich sauce for, that he had no idea how much it cost to make, and therefore was fine, because that man hated spending money.He would have fed me a bite. He would have sat in bed and wagged his feet to the rhythm of the music on what ever show he was watching on that overly large tv screen. He would have held my hand in his, and used the other hand to tap mine to the same rhythm, perfect rhythm, perfect pitch, now slightly off from the tremors pulsating through his body. I would have felt his watch snag my wrist with a sharp edge, perpetually damp from washing his hands. His gold chain laying around his chest, entangling with hair, laid upon his body like a sheet. He would have smiled, his tongue pressed to the thin gap space between his front top teeth, and you would have felt the joy.He would have sung, and danced, and gone to bed early. And to have watched him in action, would be to watch myself, because only as I write these words do I notice more and more similarities that intertwine with exactly who I am and have become and continue to be. He was goofy. Giggly. Silly. The silliest. The most intelligent man I’ve ever known. An encyclopedia for historical facts. A crossword puzzle finished in the blink of an eye while I stared blankly at the page, trying to find a single clue that I could solve. I can smell his aftershave. I can feel his grip. I can hear his voice singing notes off the sheet music in front of me, before effortlessly gliding his bow across the viola and shrugging it off like it was nothing. I could say I think about him rarely, because I genuinely thought that might be true, a sense of guilt and shame that I maybe subconsciously carry.But I guess I think about him every day in some form, because I am him by @msjamicakes

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3 months ago

You’ve held me in a way that no one else can, while being practically the worse empathy dog that could possibly exist. The site of tears sends you exiting a room faster than the sound of a treat bag shaking, entices you into one. And while you’re a horrible listener when I ask you to do something, making the most dramatic and elongated side glare directed at me as if to say, “I hear you, but no thanks!” You also have never once left eye contact with me as I tell you about my day, or why I’m sad, or scream at the top of my lungs in joy at the site of you. You don’t love it, but you also don’t budge when I hold you tight, and try to absorb every ounce of good that you are. You’ve tethered me to this earth, when I don’t want to continue being in it. And you’ve loved me, exactly as I am, in the hardest years of my life, when the people who were supposed to, never did. (OBVIOUSLY NOT @rojasdz !) I keep hearing that my dog is my mirror and while I couldn’t see it for a bit, I feel so lucky to be any reflection of him. I love you, forever and always, my big salty boy. Happy 5th Adoptiversary. Adopt a dog, change a life, it might just save yours. by @msjamicakes

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6 months ago

No tengo las palabras. I came on a sola trip, and yet was never alone. Maybe for a few perfect days to read on the beach and soak in the bright light, and lie in a hammock on a covered terrace listening to the rain pour down around me, while restoring my energy. From the tightness of my own brain, the rigidity of how deep my sadness had unbeknownst to me, taken complete control over my body, you fixed me with just a whisper of yourself. Con una onda tan tranqui, que finalmente pude reflejarme un poquito. My mind is dark, and I mostly externally exude a brightness, but it’s been harder and harder in the recent days. Uruguay, your magic saved me, restored me, and brought me back to life. I’ll bathe in your salt water, and color my skin with your sun’s rays, and cover myself endlessly in your sand, and drink your mate any day. Te lo agradezco. taken in Uruguay by @msjamicakes

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7 months ago

Argentina, fue genial! @mstaas93 you made a new best friend and you’re stuck with me now. The chaos and giggles and beef snacks and helados and constant songs, forever embedded in mi corazón. Hasta pronto! taken in Argentina by @msjamicakes

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8 months ago

I can’t explain the joy that’s been felt this year as my body slipped into what felt right instead of holding onto everything that twisted my insides about for far longer than I should have allowed. The gentle caresses of the words that were spoken so sweetly from the lips of the loves in my life who care so deeply for my well being, brushing against my skin at the same moment that the wind takes all that is no longer meant for me and swiftly pushes it into a breeze, continuing on so far away from here. I can finally exhale. He’s happier now, a direct correlation between human and their beloved dog absorbing any and all of their grievances, til we both come out the other side, sprinting in circles, chaotic but non stop giggling zoomies in a house where we never thought we would be, but are so lucky to call home. I’d do it all over again, repeating the same mistakes in the same ways to get me to where I am now, because it’s brought me to you, and returned me to me, and maybe, as much as much as I fight it, I’m exactly where I’m supposed to be. by @msjamicakes

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10 months ago

One of the best parts of living in Portland is the way people come together and provide for each other. That’s the real basis for lasting safety: knowing that the community has your back.

Human Centric Media’s friend and colleague, Jessica (@jesslynnheilman) at the Center for Women’s Leadership (@centerwomensleadership) first alerted us to Soup Night, a new event series produced by the delicious union of Chef Jami Cakes (@msjamicakes), Kitchen Table Magazine (@kitchentablemag), Hungry Heart Bakery (@hungryheartpdx) and the Northeast Portland event venue Che; (@che.pdx).

Together they deployed a winning recipe: local farmers provided fresh produce, Jami made two delicious soups (minestrone and cream of cauliflower), and guests were invited to dine together, with all the proceeds and excess soup being distributed throughout the community by the nonprofit Growing Gardens (@growinggardenspdx).

La Porteña (@laportenapdx) also provided delicious chimichurri to put on top.

There may be plenty of work left to do but all year I’ve seen glimpses of what this city can be in nights like this: warm-hearted people coming together with curiosity and mutual interest, creating a support system that didn’t exist before.

We broke bread, got to know each other and talked about our shared values, namely that ICE has no place in our community and that their organized terrorism is cruel and unamerican.

This wave will pass and our city will emerge stronger because no matter how much damage they cause, they cannot take away our compassion or our values.

I’m so glad that Human Centric Media got to document these gorgeous moments, shared between colleagues and neighbors, their bellies and hearts both full and glowing.

In the Future, No One Goes Hungry 🍲 humancentricmedia.com/events

#eventphotography #portland #communitycare #fuckICE A volunteer with braided hair and a blue illustrated apron smiles while grating fresh cheese over a bowl of hearty vegetable soup in the kitchen at Che during a community fundraiser. taken in NE Portland by @msjamicakes

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10 months ago

“I think farming in general is an act of both something so natural and rooted in tradition, and yet in this day and age, also an act of defiance in a world where you’re doing things just a little differently than societal norms dictate. Is that not also what queer culture is? It’s for those that want to get back to tending to the land, building community, and awareness around what feels both as simple, and as powerful as seeds in the dirt. For me, it feels like I’m surrounded by open, like minded people who are using their hands as an act of resilience to empower one another and Mother Nature. To feed those around me with open arms. And, although, much easier said than done, to go with the flow, because most of farming is out of your control.”

Jami Epstein has spent the last eight years growing food anywhere she could—on small farms, in backyard plots, and in every bit of soil that would take a seed. After years cheffing for wealthy clientele and cooking with produce she couldn’t afford herself, @msjamicakes followed her curiosity straight to the fields. What began as volunteering on her days off became a new life rooted in soil, community, and self-nourishment. She grows starts and salad mixes, donating 100% of sales to local dog rescues. taken in Portland, Oregon by @msjamicakes

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10 months ago

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a year ago

She sprouts in spring, and thrives in summer. Her skin, absorbing every ray of light to store away for the coming winter months. Her body floats infinitely in rivers and lakes, toes dipping into streams and oceans at every given opportunity. What happens when it ends? Where will she go, and who will she become, a shell of herself, hibernating in a dark space until the next glimmer of sunshine pulls her out of it again. Summer, I love you. I always have. I always will. You are my home, alongside the people who kept me afloat in the darkest of days to make it to your light. I love you too. by @msjamicakes

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a year ago

Just a girl and her vegetables. Everyone knows I’m a cherry tomato. 🍅 by @msjamicakes

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a year ago