Instagram story viewer> @nalu.co> Posts

Nalu, Pe'ahi, Leilani, & Honu

@nalu.co

36K

followers

557

following

CA~OR~AK Just a pup (Cattle Dog) living the dream in Juneau, AK with my uncle Pe'ahi, sisters Leilani and Honu, and mom @altaaurora. Get outside!

POSTS STORIES REELS TAGGED

Is it just me, or is there something about boy doggos that love their mamas extra hard?

I know that I will never feel the instant bond or unconditional connection like I did with Nalu, and I know there are so many ways in which I still haven’t fully processed his loss, but it’s nice to have a little clinger again.

I see so much of Pe’ahi as a pup in Opihi physically, and so many of Nalu’s behaviors in the ways he interacts with me. I’d say we’ve developed a very strong like with each other, and love feels on the tip of the tongue.

#cattledogsofinstagram #australiancattledog #dingosinthewild #hikingwithdogs by @nalu.co

297

7

3 days ago

Already learning to become quite the little model.

#cattledogsofinstagram #australiancattledog #dingosinthewild #hikingwithdogs #fall by @nalu.co

466

23

4 days ago

It’s been one week since I first met this little baby man.

Here are some things we’ve learned about Opihi in our first week together:
1. He’s quite a confident little guy and has approached each new walk and trail with curiosity and wonder.
2. He likes watching leaves fall from trees and hearing new bird noises.
3. He already walks really well on leash and is quickly mastering “right side.”
4. He also enjoys being a prince boy and lets me know when he needs a break in his stroller.
5. He is not destructive but does love to take every toy out of the toy box and test each one.
5. He is curious about, but very respectful of the kitties.
6. He has a big voice and he certainly knows how to use it.
7. He might be part fox and loves to pounce on his toys when we play fetch.
8. He really, REALLY likes food and treats but is learning how to slow down and be patient with his snuffle mat.
9. He might be a little obsessed with him mom and does not love when I leave the house for my runs (see last slide).
10. He is a tiny velociraptor when he is not knocked out and sleeping.

We look forward to learning all of the sides of his little personality and can’t wait to watch him grow.

#cattledogsofinstagram #australiancattledog #dingosinthewild #hikingwithdogs by @nalu.co

462

19

6 days ago

Yesterday we learned about waterfalls and ears that go bing bong and the pet store and naps with sister after big walks.

#cattledogsofinstagram #australiancattledog #dingosinthewild #hikingwithdogs by @nalu.co

396

19

7 days ago

Winning hearts left and right over here.

Honu is still a tiny bit unsure of his endless energy, but they walk really well together and she’s starting to accept him in her personal space. by @nalu.co

405

26

9 days ago

Welp, I guess the cat is out of the bag.

Everyone, meet Opihi! Formerly Oberon, I saw this little dude on @buckeyeacdrescue facebook page a few weeks ago and sent them an email. On September 26th I spoke with their group, and this past Sunday I flew to Cleveland to pick him up.

Opihi means limpet in Hawaiian and is used as a term of endearment for clingy behavior. It also represents resilience as they have to cling to the rocks against crashing waves.

This guy was an absolute ROCKSTAR on our very long day of travel home. I’ve never flown with a dog and was pretty nervous, but he took it like a champ. We left Ohio at 5am (got to the airport just after 3am) and had three flights home. He only whined a little during our first flight. He walked confidently through major airport traffic, settled in his carrier well, and charmed everyone he met.

I’ll share more about the decision and all the feels in another post, but for now we’re enjoying getting to know each other. Swipe to the end to see his special ❤️. And extra big thanks to @patreats and Karen for the warm welcome in Cleveland and for helping me pick him up. And to @knockitoffjulie for fostering such an amazing little man. by @nalu.co

1k

110

11 days ago

Honu is working on practicing her patience 🤣 And proving that despite being the baby sister, she can also rock big sister vibes and teach the new kids a thing or two.
@spenserak is dog sitting Arlo and we’ve enjoyed a few walks together this week. by @nalu.co

435

13

16 days ago

Fall has arrived with a vengeance and it’s been raining pretty steadily for almost 72 hours (with more in the forecast). It’s hard to believe hiking season is basically over and I barely drug myself up one “mountain.”

I’ve never really minded hiking alone, as long as I had my pack, but this summer was obviously very different and I just could not find the strength to get motivated. I’m sad I “wasted” an entire season, I’m sad I let Honu down, but I’m hopeful that with time I’ll find my footing again. by @nalu.co

452

17

18 days ago

One week ago, @chipmarr texted me and confirmed that they had safely arrived at @preciouscreature, and for the first time since the day we knew we had to say goodbye, I felt all of the air suck out of my lungs and the weight of a thousand bricks settle in my chest. It finally hit that you would never be with me in this body again. I will never get to hold you. I will never get to settle on the couch after a long hike and feel your weight pressed into my lap as we rest and recover. I will never get to be woken up by your morning songs. I will never get to have the crook of my elbow kissed until my skin almost comes off. I will never get to see your little face resting on the center console as I drive. I will never get to cuddle by a campfire with you. I will never get to see you do your excited mealtime spinning dance. I will never get to see your eyes follow my every move or look at me like you know exactly what I needed. And I don’t know how to accept that. I don’t know where to find the joy or purpose without you.

Oddly enough, spending the weekend finding the appropriate size shipping container, purchasing ice packs, lifting Nalu in and out of spaces to make sure he fit properly for travel, all of that felt fairly flat, methodical. Checking him on to the plane, explaining to the agent what was packaged felt like getting a job done. You’d think that having your best friend in a freezer would be odd or off putting, that knowing he was starting the journey to come back to me in his next form would be comforting, but it isn’t. It’s just a harsh reminder that he is gone.

I am incredibly grateful to Lauren at Precious Creature for having such a beautiful welcome prepared for him. And to Chip and Efren for being willing to take the time honor him in this way. I love you baby boy, and I miss you so fucking much. by @nalu.co

884

45

a month ago

Safe travels baby boy.

Today was a big step in my grief journey, I sent Nalu to California where he will be received at @preciouscreature to begin his memorial work. I will be getting a full head cast, a pelt preservation, and traditional private cremation.

I wasn’t fully ready for this to happen as quickly as it did, but when I remembered on Friday that @chipmarr and her partner were traveling home to LA, I wondered if the airline would let them fly with him as checked luggage (probably one of the strangest questions an agent has been asked or that I’ve ever asked a friend).

It is a massive comfort to know that he will be traveling with someone that knew and loved him, that he will be personally escorted to the memorial company, and that his delivery will be timely. It is also a huge financial saving as shipping anything frozen overnight from Alaska can cost hundreds of dollars. And Chip wouldn’t even let me pay her for her extra checked bag!! Jerk 🤣

I wasn’t fully ready to let him go and it feels weird knowing he’s no longer in Alaska, but I am incredibly grateful for friends willing to be a part of this journey and could not have asked for a better outcome. Thank you, thank you, thank you Chip and Efren ❤️ by @nalu.co

345

21

a month ago

I promise there is a dog in here, but also WHALES!

I’m curious to hear other people’s experiences with animal grief. I’ve tried to make sure the puppies have had a chance to be a part of the loss of a pack member every time, either being in the room directly when we’ve said goodbye, or with Pe’ahi, we visited him the next day as he had passed at the vet.

I also really try not to anthropomorphize the dogs, or make assumptions about their behaviors based on what I may be feeling. But it’s hard to deny that Honu has been different (unsurprisingly) since becoming an only dog. She has never been particularly food motivated and her eating habits actually started to shift a bit when Leilani was ill. But without Nalu, mealtime seems to be a downright struggle. I’ve cooked chicken, and beef, and salmon, and a variety of smelly wet foods and every time I feel like I’m trying to convince her to eat. Spenser and I both have to be in the room, we cannot show any emotion that may be perceived as stress/frustration, and we usually sing her really ridiculous songs, and I’m still lucky if I can get her to eat two full meals a day. She is still a healthy weight, but it’s difficult for me to see her so unenthusiastic about treats.

The girls have always been sensitive souls and loud noises, even if that’s just joy or excitement, can stress them out. Honu has become so much more sensitive to emotions. I’ll admit that’s been really hard for me, it’s part of the reason I don’t know that I’ve really processed Nalu’s loss, because I’m afraid my emotions will make it worse for her. Honu has also started almost refusing walks. She wants to go, is excited to go, we leave the house, and she immediately stops…

All of these things “make sense” to me, but I will admit that they can feel frustrating when I’m already struggling emotionally and doing my best to maintain normalcy for her. That feels shitty to say and I absolutely love her, but it’s been a patch for us.

I don’t know that I want dogs other than my original pack, I don’t feel fully ready to open my heart again, but I also don’t want Honu to be lonely or to struggle and I wonder if she would benefit from a companion. by @nalu.co

268

18

2 months ago

I won this painting from my dear friend, the incredibly talented Lauren of @artlabeauandthedogs, before I knew I would lose Nalu. I was so excited because it’s a dream of mine to have a portrait of all of the dogs from her and this was going to be the first step in that direction.

Lauren was one of the first people I met when I started this account, and I’ve been so very fortunate to keep in touch with her for the past 14 years. I’m also lucky enough to have some of the first paintings she ever did and to have seen how much she’s grown in her art over the years. Lauren is one of the most selfless people I know, someone who manages to turn her moments of deepest hurt into beautiful acts of kindness, a trait I am deeply admiring of. I had no doubt that her rendering of Nalu would be spectacular, but I feel like I can virtually pet his little head through this painting and that’s something I didn’t quite expect. Although the meaning behind this portrait has of course changed, I’m deeply thankful to have it through this grieving process.

It’s been one month since we said goodbye and I cannot accept that. But the veil between denial and reality is becoming thin. It is harder each day to convince myself that he is just on some amazing vacation without me, and that he’ll come home to tell me about all his adventures. This week I had two people ask “where’s the rest of your pack?” I finally forced myself to call his insurance and settle some final invoices. I dropped some of his unused meds at the vet for donation.

It’s been one month since we said goodbye and I’m ashamed to say that the main thing I felt today was anger. I’m so mad I have to do this without him. I walked a trail we used to love spending hours on and the majority of the time I couldn’t wait to be done.

I’ll let you in on a secret, some may think is pretty odd. I still have Nalu, kept safely of course, because I haven’t decided what I want to do with his remains. My heart knows that I want a cast of his head, a swatch of his pelt, and his ashes. My wallet is telling me it’s an “extravagant” expense that doesn’t make sense. But this is a decision I don’t want to regret. by @nalu.co

252

13

2 months ago