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Tori Serrano

@openbooktori

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šŸ¤Ÿ Accessible information
šŸ’— Personal Account @bictoriaa
šŸŽ™ļø 1/2 Podcast Host @deafinitelynottheone
šŸ¤ Breaking taboos together
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Unpopular opinion: the Deaf community is still healing from Alexander Graham Bell. šŸ‘‡ Let me explain: And this is just where my thoughts are right now as I continue studying and learning more. And the more I study Human Sexuality, stigma, and Deaf historyā€¦ the more I wonder how much shame was shaped by systems that taught Deaf people to be ā€œacceptable,ā€ ā€œproper,ā€ and easy for hearing society to control. Not just in language. But in relationships. In marriage. In sexuality. In how Deaf people were perceived. In how we learn to navigate the world and understand our bodies in a language that is accessible for us. Deaf people donā€™t stop being humanā€¦ We need the space to feel safe enough to speak up with our doctors We need in person/live interpreting especially for ANY appointment about our bodies. Again, Iā€™m still learning, researching, and growing in my understanding of this. But itā€™s something I think about a lot. Especially as someone studying Human Sexuality and hoping to become a sex therapist one day. What are your thoughts? šŸ‘€ #deafcommunity #alexandergrahambell #deafhistory #healthequity #whyisign by @openbooktori
16
5 months ago
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Letā€™s talk about the boundary nobody warns you about. šŸ‘‡ I remember the exact moment I decided I was done. It was hot, it was heavy all the good, breathy pauses that come with a chemistry thatā€™s off the charts. I told him I didnā€™t want to go further. I said it once. I said it twice. But eventually? I just... gave in. And we need to talk about that ā€œgiving inā€ space. Because ā€œgiving inā€ is not the same as saying ā€œYes.ā€ For a long time, I didnā€™t know how to navigate these incidents Did I just fail my own moral compass? Was this my fault? Sh*t A lot of thoughts come up. When youā€™re navigating the ā€œbits and partsā€ of yourself that feel fractured after a moment like that, itā€™s easy to feel lost. Especially when society (and history) has spent so much time teaching us to be ā€œcompliantā€ and ā€œagreeableā€ rather than empowered and loud. situation feels ā€œgray.ā€ Iā€™m still learning. Iā€™m still unlearning. Iā€™m still figuring out how to navigate my own body in a world that doesnā€™t always make it easy. But Iā€™m curiousā€”have you ever been in that ā€œhot and heavyā€ moment and felt your voice get small? Have you felt that confusion afterward? Iā€™m holding space for you in the comments.šŸ’šŸ©· #healingera #findingmyway by @openbooktori
46
4 months ago
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Real talk šŸ‘‡ Have you ever left a doctorā€™s appointment feeling confusedā€¦ frustratedā€¦ like your questions didnā€™t really get answered? Like you deserved more, but didnā€™t get access to it? I know that feeling. And if youā€™re Deaf, you might know it even deeper when communication isnā€™t clear, when information isnā€™t accessible, when youā€™re expected to just ā€œfigure it outā€ on your own. Thatā€™s exactly why Iā€™m studying to become a sex therapist and diving deep into human sexuality. Because you deserve real answers. You deserve access. You deserve to understand your body, your health, and your pleasureā€¦fully! Iā€™m doing this for us. šŸ¤ #deafcommunity #sexualhealthmatters #accessibilitymatters #healthequity #sexeducation breakingbarriers by @openbooktori
88
5 months ago
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Cold side of the bed, racing thoughts, and a whole lot of unscripted grief. Some nights it just hurts, and it makes you wonder: am I holding on too tight, or just missing who I used to be? Is holding onto celibacy protecting my peace, or just keeping me stuck in the past? This stage is messy, human, and wildly confusing. Swipe to read the full breakdown, and letā€™s talk in the comments: Are you on a celibacy journey right now, or just thinking about it? Letā€™s talk below. šŸ‘‡ #datingconfessions #singlelifeproblems #unpopularopinions #datingdiaries #single by @openbooktori
13
22 days ago
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Do you know what your love languages are and are you able to communicate them? šŸ’¬ā¬‡ļø Communication doesnā€™t magically stop just because youā€™re settled down. The truth is, you shouldnā€™t stop doing the things that got you your partner in the first place. Keeping that connection alive is all about the little moments constantly flirting, dropping a random text like, ā€œHey, you look incredible tonight,ā€ or sending a quick selfie just because they crossed your mind. ā˜ŗļø Five love languages Words of Affirmation Acts of Service Receiving Gifts Quality Time Physical Touch Letā€™s chat about words of affirmation. Those tiny, intentional sparks of communication throughout the day keep things feeling easy, warm, and intentional. #RelationshipAdvice #lovelanguages ā€Ø#LoveLanguages #RelationshipGoals #communicationiskey by @openbooktori
12
2 months ago
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Letā€™s let throw out the idea of what good sex should look like šŸ‘‡ Weā€™ve all been there: trapped in our own heads, sweating the pressure of a first time, and secretly terrified someone wonā€™t ā€œget it right.ā€ But hereā€™s the truth we donā€™t talk about enough sex isnā€™t a performance review. True chemistry isnā€™t about perfection; itā€™s about communication, a lot of laughter, and finding pure joy in the little moments. Even the awkward, messy, hilarious slip-ups? Thatā€™s where the real connection happens. Take a deep breath, drop the expectations, and remember: if the chemistry is there, the rest is just practice. When you are ready can practice again ;) #DatingTips #Communication #relationships #advice by @openbooktori
0
2 months ago
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Storytime. šŸ‘‡šŸ‘€ A few years back and no, not my situationship guy, if youā€™ve been following me for a while there was someone else I thought I really, really liked at the time. Because I didnā€™t speak up early enough back then, I tolerated a lack of respect I shouldnā€™t have. We ended things, and that was that. But fast forward years later: he tries to ā€œspin the blockā€ and pick up where we left off. My response? No thank you. I told him straight up: ā€œYou didnā€™t respect me then. Iā€™m fine being friendly, but I will never be intimate with someone who couldnā€™t just simply be nice, respectful, and kind to me.ā€ I told him the treatment was cruel and itā€™s not what I want in this lifetime. I told him I could elaborate more, but ultimately, youā€™re just not for me. Having that conversation took real skill, because at the end of the day, we just werenā€™t aligned. And you simply cannot mold someone into being something theyā€™re not. I mean, kindness is a basic trait, right? BUT Hereā€™s the truth: communication is a sexual skill. If you canā€™t voice your desires, set your boundaries, or speak up about whatā€™s not working in the bedroom, your intimacy hits a ceiling. Communication is the master key to everything. Feeling disrespected? Out of sync? Like the spark is fading? Thatā€™s your cue to talk. The best breakthroughs live on the other side of uncomfortable conversations #wellnessfromwithin #hardconversations #datingtips #deafcreator by @openbooktori
11
2 months ago
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When did saying ā€œI like youā€ become so scary?šŸ‘‡šŸ«£ Does anyone actually tell people when they like them anymore?! Likeā€¦ ā€œHey, I think youā€™re cute. Iā€™ve been having fun with you. Iā€™m feeling you.ā€ Or did we justā€¦ stop doing thatā€¦? Because why has dating become SO socially awkward? Nobody wants to be the first person to admit theyā€™re interested. Weā€™re all trying to play it cool, act unbothered, protect our feelings, and pretend we donā€™t careā€¦ But isnā€™t the whole point of dating to actually LIKE someone? Maybe post-COVID turned us all into independent baddies who forgot how to flirt and communicate our feelings. So Iā€™m crowd sourcing: Do you still shoot your shot and tell someone when youā€™re feeling them? Or are we all just waiting for someone else to make the first move? šŸ‘€ #ModernDating #DatingInYour30s #DatingAdvice #SingleLife #ShootYourShot by @openbooktori
28
2 months ago
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Practicing ongoing consent is a green flag hereā€™s whyšŸ‘‡šŸ’š Back in my single AF girlie days , I was in a really, really long situationship. But looking back, the one thing I genuinely loved about us was that we practiced ongoing consent even though I didnā€™t realize thatā€™s what it was called at the time. There are so many different ways to practice ongoing consent. You can be with someone for years, and whether youā€™re on good terms, bad terms, or lying right next to each other, consent has to continue. Their body, is not yours check ins are normal. Back then, he would check in with me in ways I didnā€™t even fully appreciate yet. But now I do and I plan to bring in the next person Iā€™m with, donā€™t worry Iā€™m not perfect still learning. For instance, he would say: ā€˜Okay, if youā€™re ever in the mood at 3:00, 4:00, 5:00, or 6:00 in the morning and weā€™re on good terms, you have my permission and consent to wake me up and get me ready to go.ā€™ But on the flip side? If we had a disagreement earlier that day or earlier that week, heā€™d be clear: ā€œYou donā€™t have my consent to wake me up tonight.ā€ Even right from the beginning, we set clear boundaries. Heā€™d say: ā€œYou have my permission for this and this, but not for that and that.ā€ Rejection can feel hard to hear, but hereā€™s the bottom line: consent is always ongoing, no matter how long youā€™ve been with someone.ā€ Is this something you already practice or wish to practice? #RelationshipBoundaries #HealthyDating #CommunicationMatters #DatingAdvice #RelationshipGoals by @openbooktori
9
2 months ago
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Keeping the spark alive means never guessing where your partnerā€™s head is at even if youā€™ve been together for years. True connection is all about keeping that consent sexy and fluid, sliding in a smooth ā€œIs this okay?ā€ right when the tension builds. Remember that intimacy isnā€™t just about the bedroom; a heated makeout session or a deep emotional check-in hits and is just as important. Unpack what society tells you romance should look like, ask them what kind of attention and love theyā€™re craving, and show them how effortless good communication can really be. Itā€™s okay to work at this every single day weā€™re always learning more about ourselves and our bodies as we get older, and it is always okay to say no whenever you want to. What worked few years ago might not work now, and thatā€™s totally okay; communication is the key. #CommunicationTips #RelationshipAdvice #HealthyBoundaries #EmotionalIntimacy #RelationshipCommunication by @openbooktori
6
2 months ago
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When your boundaries are constantly crossed, saying ā€œnoā€ feels impossible especially when youā€™ve spent years as a people-pleaser, like me. And Iā€™ve been working on myself ever since!We learn more about ourselves everyday and thatā€™s okay too Saying yes when you want to say no hurts everything. It hurts friendships: šŸ‘€ā€œDo you want to hang out?ā€ šŸ„ŗā€œNo, I need to rest and study.ā€ šŸ‘€ā€œYou must not love me if you stay in and do homework šŸ„ŗ That is not fair. Real friends let you rest without guilt. It hurts relationships: ā¤ļøā€šŸ©¹ Someone asks you to do something you feel unsafe or uncomfortable doing. ā¤ļøā€šŸ©¹ They say: ā€œIf you really loved me, you would say yes.ā€ ā¤ļøā€šŸ©¹ That is toxic. Love never forces you. You are allowed to take time to think. You never have to say yes right away. To all my freshmen, sophomores, juniors, seniors and if you are going back to graduate school: It is okay to reinvent your boundaries and strengthen them. It is never too late. Saying no to others means saying yes to yourself. šŸ¤ŸšŸ’• And remember to show yourself some grace as you navigate this new chapter in your life. #graduatestudent #CollegeFreshman #CollegeTips #DatingAdvice #CollegeLife by @openbooktori
10
2 months ago
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If ā€œTiti Toriā€ could give incoming college freshmen one piece of truth, itā€™s this: dating in college is supposed to be fun! But the second you get that dorm key and whoever has been responsible for you drives away... adulting starts, and yes, hookups do happen If I could give any advice? Some people are strictly for looking and not doing, and that is 100% okay! Honestly, if I knew what to actually ask before hooking up, I probably would have way fewer horror stories lol šŸ˜‚šŸ˜‚šŸ˜‚ A quick checklist before you make any moves: šŸ‘€ The ā€œWhat are we doing?ā€ check: Are you both on the same page about what this is? šŸ’• Protection talk: Is everyone protected, tested, and consenting? Never guessā€”always communicate šŸ›‘ Boundaries: What are your non-negotiables? Knowing what you want makes walking away so much easier. Protect your peace, have fun, and remember college is a marathon, not a sprint! šŸ #CollegeAdvice #CollegeFreshman #CollegeTips #DatingAdvice #CollegeLife by @openbooktori
16
2 months ago
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