Jolynda Collins

LONG POST: My dad was just released from the hospital in October of 2020. Due to his diagnosis of stage IV prostate cancer, the thoughts in my mind became overwhelming. I reflected on the journey of mom's cancer battle and became sadden. I thought, not again, Lord...not again! Are You about to take dad too? My mind and body was not able to handle the increasing anxiety over the next coming weeks. Unbeknownst to me, the prior years of worrying would manifest an attack so debilitating, I did not know if I would survive.⁠
⁠ It was around midnight, my sister was following me and my heart started to beat extremely fast. I called my sister to inform her I was pulling over. As we came to a halt, my heart rate easily exceeded 160 bpm. My techy sister Googled what was occurring...LOL!! Out of 10 possible causes for increased heart rate, one resonated with us - PANIC ATTACK!! The right side of my body was tingling, my head and neck was pounding and I almost lost control of my bodily functions. Every organ in my body began to sound off like a tornado siren that would not end. I probably needed medical attention, but calling 911 never came to my sister's mind. I could hardly speak and I remember my sister telling me to "Breathe...Breathe...Breathe!" At that moment, focusing on her voice and emulating the rhythm by which she said breathe was a technique I did not realize I was doing. I'll explain later!!⁠
⁠ What was interesting about this attack, I was not fearful. Somehow I knew the Lord was with me in the middle of this chaos. In fact, right in the midst, I heard these words, "I AM SHIFTING YOU." "Alright Jesus, but can you normalize my heart rate now." I say that jokingly!! My heart took it's sweet time to calm down, about 45 minutes to be exact. This ebb and flow of my heart rate, finally calmed down enough to drive home. My body felt like I had ran a marathon I was not prepared for. However, I could not get those words out of my mind. "I AM SHIFTING YOU." What did those word truly mean? What was the Lord trying to tell me? Well, not many days hence, the weight of those words was about to unfold.⁠ #mentalhealth #anxiety
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