I’m Amy. I’m 52, living in a cabin on 15 acres in a birch forest in Alaska. It sounds like a movie. It’s not always a movie. Sometimes it’s brown and muddy and the worst version of everything, I haven’t slept a week, and our dog won’t stop barking at the moose.
My husband Jake just retired after 27 years in the Air Force and is now flying for the airlines. He’s my favorite person, my ride or die, and it’s a little wild that we’re currently living in different cities. Military life prepared us for a lot of things. Apparently this is one of them.
I’m the mom of three adult sons and one daughter still at home. The transition into being a mom of adult children has been the hardest thing I’ve ever navigated. Nobody really talks about this part. That’s why so many of you showed up this week, and why your comments have meant more than you probably realize.
Perimenopause hit me like a freight train and eventually led to a full system crash after years of running in a go, crash, rest, repeat cycle. I walked away from everything, including an almost million-dollar business, packed up my daughter, and moved to Alaska to heal.
The last few years have been about putting myself back together. Slowly. On my own terms.
Somewhere in the middle of that, I started using AI differently.
Not for productivity. Not for business. For the days when my nervous system is loud and I don’t know what I’m feeling, and it’s 2am. That’s where the tracking started. And what I found changed everything.
I was skeptical too. But it gave me something I didn’t have before, a way to see my patterns, sort through what’s actually going on, and stay with my life instead of spiraling out of it.
I’m on day 33 of a 40-day challenge to show up every day and documenting what it actually looks like to use the map AI gave me.
The real version. Not the highlight reel.
It’s messy. I’m emotional. I’m not the version of me that built big things before.
I’m building differently this time.
And I’m really glad you pulled up a chair.
If you just found me, what brought you here? If you’ve been here for a while, will you share why you stay?
8 days agochelewbe
reading all these comments is just getting me ladies! i so relate and understand 💖💖💖
8 days agochelewbe
i literally happened upon you by complete happenstance today. the 3 sons and how our system has to learn where our place is after they marry. that got me. you put it all so perfectly. i relate. i just saw your post about your body shutting down in 2020. i am 64, married to my love for 45 yrs now, im in healthcare- and not yet ready or able to retire. i need sm'thing to give myself a new post retirement purpose. i am close to all my kiddos & hubby & have great friends but i need a post retirement gig. my mind is searching. i cannot stay home everyday after retirement yet i will not have $$$ to go go go. i do not really understand how AI helped you but i want to understand and find out if it can help me too. i know i am a creative mind and not created to fade into the woodwork in a few years.
9 days agoemma_vs10
Mom of 8, ages 25-11 , im in 2 worlds. But i hear and feel everything you write and its so relieving to realize im not crazy or alone in this emotional mess. Nber realized this is part kf a shifting nervous system. Gald to be here and learn more .
25 days agopatricialabbadia
And yes, it is a difficult time. My father passed 7 years ago. Moved my mother up with us. She is now almost 89 years old and needs me for everything. My husband and I have been married for 33 1/2 years. We married just one month after I found out I was pregnant and only 3 months after we met. Our oldest son was also in the Air Force. He was a captain and a missileer, stationed at FE Warren AFB, in Wyoming for several years before retiring to pursue his Masters degree. Life at this stage is not anything you can prepare for. Hoping that being connected this way will make things a little less challenging.
25 days agopatricialabbadia
I found you because my algorithm seems to know what I’ve been feeling. I am 59 years old. We have 5 kids. Our 5th one, my baby boy, came almost 9 years after our 4th. I was a month shy of 41 when I had him. Along with our other children, he was my gift from God. More so because he came at a time with my older kids were hitting their teen and pre-teen years. Our oldest, at the time was a freshman in high school. He helped me through all of those stressful years. He has been such an incredible young man. He is sweet and loving. I think knowing and living through what my older kids put me through when they were in high school, nothing horrible, just the typical, teenage, sassy, push the limits, fall into peer pressure kind of things, made him turn out to be the complete opposite. He’s very social but also very smart. Did not fall for the peer pressure. Has never talked back. He did well in high school. Three season varsity athlete. School record breaker… Now it’s been almost a month since we dropped him off at college and I am feeling the weight of it all come crashing down on my heart. I cry every day. Since our oldest is 14 years older than him, I did the calculation and realized that I had been, THAT mom, the one that had someone under my roof everyday, needing to be woken up in the morning. Needing breakfast, lunch packed, a home cooked meal to come home to after practices. The mom who would bring things to school, that they rushed out of the house without. The mom that picked up after practice or took to a late one. The one cheering in the stands. The one who would occasionally help with homework or remind of certain assignments.., I was THAT mom for almost 33 years. That was my world. It has not been easy trying to transition out of that. I know I will never be the same person and that knowledge, has shattered my entire existence. I know I will always be mama, but because I’ve had adult kids for a while, I also know what that means. I love reading your posts though. It does help a little. ❤️
a month agolaurah6381
I have just found you and everything you talk about it seems I am going through and to find you and this community and see that maybe I’m not alone is a beautiful thing! I miss my adult kids so much, every single day!! There’s is so much going on in my body, in my mind, that I don’t know what to do with or how to even really talk about it. Maybe that’s why it seems like nobody talks about this part of parenting. Because we just don’t know how. But thank you for talking about it and thank you for giving us a place to be and not feel so alone! ❤️
2 months agogracenotes70
Hi, just randomly found your page. We have many similarities and some differences but at the end of the day it is interesting to me how we as woman can do so much with our bodies and lives in the same way that brings us back to the same place =SURVIVAL!!!🕊️💫❤️🩹 so I’m pulling up a 🪑 for the new season of learning!🦋👍🏽🤩
2 months agodelz_nubian_8
😮im here because what i read and hear is mostly true. 3 adult girls and a 15yr old boy... im still learning too... And yes how to navigate through AdultHood too through them for them... you see its not easy to let go and still let them be free 😮😮😮😍😂
2 months agobridgitbroom
You came up on my page. Your time in life hit home with me. I'll be staying here for awhile, if you dont mind.
2 months agojennilynking
I started a family a little later in life. Had my kids at 35 and 41. So here I am, just turned 55, and still have a 13 yr old at home. The mid-life crash is happening but I’m still in the thick of parenting teens. My oldest (19) started college last year so I was adjusting to that. Everyone asked what I was doing with my extra time with only one kid at home. My answer was “recovering”. Parenting even the most delightful human is so much work. I will be 60 when my 13 year old graduates HS. He is going through puberty as I start menopause. That’s pretty funny. Oh the hormones in this house. 😂 This journey is wild for sure.
4 months agolourdesisalguemakeup
I found you today! I’m so glad I did ❤️ I’m in a season of change after 31 years of nonstop working in a corporate environment and being highly productive to my makeup company, and having weekdays without a plan, something scheduled to do. That change has impacted our finances at the time, since we need to adjust and we have a 22 year old son, who still lives at home and it’s working and in law school and a 13 year old daughter. They still need me, but at the same time, they don’t. I feel my body changing, the anxiety of knowing the clock is ticking and maybe at times, time is not on my side anymore. Thank you for voicing things and feelings, I didn’t had to words to describe, but I sure was feeling. I live in Guatemala City, of Cuban parents, and that’s an another layer to my story. Sending hugs your way ❤️
4 months agoreneenea10
I’m enjoying reading all of the heart felt comments. They and your post resonate deeply. I’m not sure how or when I came across your account but I’m glad I did. I’m here to learn, heal, be gently reminded that I am not alone and stretch in ways I never imagined. 👏🏼🙌🏻🫶🏼
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