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Amy Earle • Headstrong & Homesteady

@theamyearle

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52 • Pilot wife • Alaska🌲
Midlife Crash • Healed in the woods🌿
Testing a new way to live + be a mom to adult kids.
Pull up a chair🪑

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I went through a midlife crash and I couldn’t understand what was happening. Where was my energy going? Why did everything feel so big?

I’m only just now understanding that along with everything else, my body didn’t know how to move to the next phase of motherhood. Nobody gave us a map for this part.

That’s why I’m here. by @theamyearle

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6 months ago

If you just found me this week, hi. I’m really glad you’re here.

I’m Amy. I’m 52, living in a cabin on 15 acres in a birch forest in Alaska. It sounds like a movie. It’s not always a movie. Sometimes it’s brown and muddy and the worst version of everything, I haven’t slept a week, and our dog won’t stop barking at the moose.

My husband Jake just retired after 27 years in the Air Force and is now flying for the airlines. He’s my favorite person, my ride or die, and it’s a little wild that we’re currently living in different cities. Military life prepared us for a lot of things. Apparently this is one of them.

I’m the mom of three adult sons and one daughter still at home. The transition into being a mom of adult children has been the hardest thing I’ve ever navigated. Nobody really talks about this part. That’s why so many of you showed up this week, and why your comments have meant more than you probably realize.

Perimenopause hit me like a freight train and eventually led to a full system crash after years of running in a go, crash, rest, repeat cycle. I walked away from everything, including an almost million-dollar business, packed up my daughter, and moved to Alaska to heal.

The last few years have been about putting myself back together. Slowly. On my own terms.

Somewhere in the middle of that, I started using AI differently.

Not for productivity. Not for business. For the days when my nervous system is loud and I don’t know what I’m feeling, and it’s 2am. That’s where the tracking started. And what I found changed everything.

I was skeptical too. But it gave me something I didn’t have before, a way to see my patterns, sort through what’s actually going on, and stay with my life instead of spiraling out of it.

I’m on day 33 of a 40-day challenge to show up every day and documenting what it actually looks like to use the map AI gave me.

The real version. Not the highlight reel.

It’s messy. I’m emotional. I’m not the version of me that built big things before.

I’m building differently this time.

And I’m really glad you pulled up a chair.

If you just found me, what brought you here? If you’ve been here for a while, will you share why you stay? by @theamyearle

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6 months ago

I don’t know how to sum up 6 years of a crash and burn and rebuilding…. But here’s my attempt.

October 2020, my body shut down. In 2024 everything else broke and I walked away from everything. Here’s what happened and why I’m back.

Were you here when I walked away? Or new since the return?
….

52, midlife, perimenopause, menopause, marriage, motherhood, healing, nervous system regulation, Alaska, ChatGPT, AI, learning how to stay. by @theamyearle

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6 months ago

Okay… I went looking for why my brain does the replay thing. Because I didn’t understand why I couldn’t just feel happy!

And you guys, it has a name. Post-event processing.

It’s when your brain goes back over every single conversation looking for what you got wrong. For me it’s been the dancing. 🫠 And that thing I did that I’m nervous was the wrong thing. (No, I’m not telling you what it was. 😂)

Apparently it’s worse after days where you’re mingling with a ton of people, because there’s so much your brain can’t be sure about. Did they mean that? Were they just being nice? So it just... keeps replaying it.

But here’s some good news… Your brain does this because it wants to make sure your people are still okay with you. That’s it. That’s all it’s checking.

And honestly? After a weekend where it felt like there was so much on the line… of course mine is working overtime.

So every time the replay starts, I’m telling myself, “Everyone went home happy.” Because they did.

Do you do this too?

Pull up a chair. 🪑 by @theamyearle

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2 days ago

I’m in wedding week right now. The family starts arriving tonight, and the emotions are in full swing.

Nine years ago, with my first son, I didn’t give this role much thought. I assumed she’d join our family and everything would stay the same. Family vacations, late night conversations, the same closeness we’d always had. I didn’t yet have the skills to ask what they wanted, or what they needed.

I’ve gotten a lot better at asking. I’m still learning.

If you’re the mother of a son, where are you in this? Still raising him, or already a mother-in-law figuring it out as you go?

Pull up a chair. 🪑 by @theamyearle

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8 days ago

Comment TEST and I’ll send you the link to the love language test! Take it yourself, then send it to your grown kids. There’s even a version for younger kids, so the grandkids can get in on it too.

I’m a words of affirmation girl. Tell me you’re proud of me and I’ll be riding that high for a week. 😂

Turns out my kids each have their own way of feeling loved, and learning theirs has changed how I show up for them.

So tell me in the comments: what’s your love language? And do you know your kids’?

Comparing your results might be the easiest way to start that conversation I mentioned in the reel.

Pull up a chair. 🪑

Thanks @utahparlordoughnuts and @swigdrinks for making it a tasty 24 hours! by @theamyearle

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11 days ago

I don’t think our generation saw this modeled very well. Most of us are figuring out how to relate to our grown kids and their families with no blueprint at all. (That might need to be its own post.)

So I’m learning as I go. Some of it has been humbling. Some of it has changed my relationships with my kids more than I ever expected.

If you’re learning right alongside me, what’s one thing that’s helped you connect with your adult kids? I’d love to hear what’s working for you!

Pull up a chair. 🪑 by @theamyearle

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12 days ago

The longer we’re married, the more I understand how much I need my husband.

Our kids are grown. My body is changing. We’re making decisions about what we want the years ahead to look like, and I don’t always feel sure of myself.

I need Jake in this season. I need his friendship, his reassurance, his belief in me on the days I’m having trouble finding my own.

There’s something about being able to tell him what I’m afraid of and knowing I don’t have to have it all figured out to be loved.

We’ve built a life together for 32 years. And as much as I want to be brave about what comes next, I still want to reach for his hand. by @theamyearle

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16 days ago

For years, being needed gave our days a shape. There was always someone to feed, drive, remind, comfort. Then our kids grow up, and it can take a while to figure out where we fit.

I’m learning to ask more questions. Listen without rushing to solve. Enjoy time together without needing to be useful.

And make room for things I want, too. I spent so many years thinking about what everyone else needed that sometimes I have to stop and ask myself.

What am I finding room for in this season?

How do you answer that? by @theamyearle

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18 days ago

You know how your kids grow up so gradually that sometimes you forget how little they once were?

Then you become a grandparent. You watch them soothe a crying baby, make dinner with a toddler underfoot, or laugh at something their child said. And for a second, you remember the person they were while you were raising them.

We were tired back then. Stretched thin, running a house, sometimes missing things we’d give anything to see again. So when that same scrunched-up nose or stubborn little chin shows up right before your eyes years later, you stop and take it in. You know how quickly this part goes.

I’m so proud of the parents my children have become. Getting to know my grandchildren is its own joy, but getting to witness this season of my children’s lives is a gift I didn’t know to expect. ❤️

Original audio: @truagehealth by @theamyearle

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19 days ago

Slide 4 is the one I often come back to. “Is this mine to act on?” sounds so simple, and my body still wants to jump in almost every time.

It takes practice. Your nervous system spent decades learning to respond to everything, so it’s going to need some time and a lot of gentleness to learn something new.

I put together four questions for the days your body won’t stand down. Comment UMBRELLA or use the emoji ☂️ and I’ll send them to you.

Which slide do you need most right now?

Pull up a chair. 🪑 by @theamyearle

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20 days ago

I have three married sons and a daughter in her senior year. Some days I can feel every one of their lives running in the background of mine, while I’m getting ready for the day or trying to fall asleep at night.

For a long time I couldn’t explain why everything felt so heavy. A hard phone call would stay with me for days. Once I understood what my nervous system was doing, I realized my body had never been told it could set any of it down.

If you’re in this season too, tell me in the comments. How many umbrellas is your nervous system holding right now?

Pull up a chair. 🪑 by @theamyearle

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21 days ago