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Gareth K. Thomas

@garethkthomas

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❤️‍🩹 Child Trauma Specialist
🏠 Foster Parent ➔ SGO to 3 incredible kids
👨‍💻 Founder @traumaspace Courses & Community
🎙️ Host of @rupreprepeat Podcast

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Therapy offers children with trauma so many wonderful opportunities.

But it should never be an automatic decision, imposed on children simply because the funding exists, or the forms have been completed, or the child is doing well.

How about we let kids be kids for a while.

#traumatherapy #childtrauma #traumainformed by @garethkthomas

Punishing traumatised children doesn’t work.

There are a few reasons, but one logical explanation is that taking away something (an Xbox, a lunchtime break, etc.) from a child who’s lost everything simply doesn’t register.

Why would it?

If everything you’ve ever known and loved is gone, what difference does it make to lose something insignificant?

#punishments #therapeuticparenting #traumainformed by @garethkthomas

Today’s my birthday. I’m 41. But in this photo, I’m 31, and it’s been 17 days since my three kids came to live with me.

I had never met them before. I learned of their existence (and their names, and the briefest idea of what they liked) just days before they walked through the door.

I often think about the day they arrived. Our collective fear. Our collective questions. And how their big smiles did such a brilliant job of hiding a world of pain and confusion.

A birthday is a good time for a little perspective.

I’m thinking about the work I do. The words I write. The stories I share. Here, across social media, and in the real world. This work matters to me. It’s personal.

My kids know I do this for them, and for every kid walking through that doorway today.

My boys are the first to like my Instagram reels, overriding the cringe factor of seeing my bumbling attempt at being an “influencer” (though it doesn’t always override the voice that tells them to leave wildly inappropriate comments). 🤦‍♂️

I am so grateful to everyone I learn from here. And to everyone who cheers me on, whether in the comments/likes/shares, or the many wonderful messages I get.

There’s more I want to do. There’s more our children need and deserve. by @garethkthomas

Have we forgotten what it means to be child led?

Far too many services are shaped around what they want to offer, rather than what each individual child needs.

#childtherapy #childtrauma #traumainformed by @garethkthomas

Consequences vs. Punishments.

Do you know the difference?

#therapeuticparenting #childbehaviour #traumainformed by @garethkthomas

We can’t ask for passionate foster parents, then ask them to be quiet.

#fostering #fostercare #fostercarers by @garethkthomas

The power imbalance in fostering.

#therapeuticparenting #fostering #fostercare by @garethkthomas

It’s National Adoption Week 2026. 🎉

We need this.

Today’s lead story on the website Children & Young People Now is “Adopter enquiries to voluntary agencies fall as shortage leaves priority children waiting.”

But people don’t have short memories when it comes to life-changing decisions.

Recently, a BBC investigation reported on the appalling failings and destructive lack of support experienced by adopters and, of course, adoptees.

As with fostering, the solution can’t simply be more marketing, more advertising, more regions and services “urging” people to enquire.

Families need support. Real support.

Help that actually helps.

We now know a huge amount about the impact of early-life trauma, as well as the impact of parental drug and alcohol use.

And we know what helps those children.

We know what education and support adopters need. We know what therapeutic interventions will help their children. We know how to help the schools these children will attend.

We don’t just need adopters. We need to help adopters, before they adopt, and throughout the lifetime commitment we ask them to make.

#YouCanAdopt #NationalAdoptionWeek #Adoption by @garethkthomas

About the time when I nearly got banned from school. 😬

This wasn’t my best day. But it’s so painful to watch your child repeatedly be failed and punished for something that was never their fault.

And, as a foster parent, when you advocate too strongly… there’s punishment for you, too.

#fostercare #fostering #traumainformed #traumainformedteaching #traumainformededucation by @garethkthomas

I would never ask a school to ignore a child’s behaviour.

Whether that’s big behaviour that puts them or others at risk, or far more subtle behaviours which can easily be missed.

A school should always respond.

But that response should be help, not punishment.

#traumainformededucation #behaviourinschools #schoolbehaviour #therapeuticparenting #traumainformed by @garethkthomas

Anyone else find the word RESILIENCE a trigger?

There are certain words we need to ban from the care system.

This is one of them.

#traumainformed #childtrauma #resilience by @garethkthomas

Here’s why asking children with trauma about their feelings often doesn’t work.

Good intentions. Yes.

And an important step later down the path.

But often, it’s an approach that will cause more harm than good.

#therapeuticparenting #traumainformed #childtrauma by @garethkthomas