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Annabel Shepherd

@maybehood_

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Planning a family doesn't always go to plan. Exploring emotions of donor conception. No wankifestation™️.
📚 rep @litagentlauren
🐈 @thetilderbeast

POSTS STORIES REELS TAGGED

*DONOR CONCEPTION STORIES*

At the beginning of Babyloss Awareness Week, I am hoping that this post, this project that supports and shares the kaleidoscope of emotions underpinning this unique route to parenthood, reaches YOU.

If you are:
✨️a donor conceived person over 18 years old who has chosen to meet their donor, their genetic parent*
✨️parenting your donor conceived child, or trying to have a donor conceived child with a religious and / or cultural background that has deeply and personally shaped your story
✨️a single intended parent or couple for whom donor conception did not work - and you feel able to talk about it and the life you have moved into

then please, please slide into my DMs so I can tell you more.

You will be helping so many.

Thank you,
Annabel

*language as always is sensitive and at the choice here of the donor conceived adult who may see our donor very differently to us

Donor conception | Egg donor | Sperm donor | donor embryo | modern family | ivf by @maybehood_

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12 days ago

*UPDATE IN BIO*

No you're not crying 😭🤣 I am though!

I am thrilled to say I am now represented by @litagentlauren @belllomaxmoreton ❤️

Thank you so much to everyone both on here and in real life who have supported me. In 2020, my then work coach and friend @lucyhomerjones told me to write. I set up Maybehood and wrote out my feelings from the space of never knowing if we would ever have a live child. Then came donor conception. Then, our little boy. And now, literary representation. My hair colour tells the story 🤣

To everyone who has written to me, spoken to me, read my words, and connected over infertility, miscarriage, donor conception, cat memes and tryingtohaveababy: thank you. Every one of you has contributed to this ❤️

Stay tuned for 2026 ✌🏻

#literaryagent
#iamwriting taken in London, England by @maybehood_

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a year ago

Did I mention my brat summer, happening a year late? 🤣

Still here. Still writing. Still determined to gain representation for my book about donor conception. Please like, comment and share, particularly if my writing has ever resonated with you. Donor conception is increasing and it matters.

Professional support for those choosing and using a donor can be found at @paths_to_parenthub
@parenthoodinmind @hfeaofficial @d_c_network @the_stork_and_i

I also recommend @thequeermama
@dcp_journey_2_rp @knackered_knackers @freddy.mcconnell @drshematariq @definingmum @nexysfertility @livsalone
@kreenadhiman @lgbt_mummies

#DonorConception #donoregg #donorsperm #ivfbaby #deivf #literaryagent #nonfiction #writes @londongrammar taken in London, United Kingdom by @maybehood_

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a year ago

*BREAKING MEWS*

Tilly: "Liz! Dolly! Gloria! Yayoi! It's happening!"
The Queen: "Do you need a double dubonnet Matilda? At least it's not a child of yours had up for being a - what do they call it?"
Tilly: "A nonce, Liz."
The Queen: "ah yes. One of those."
Gloria, patting Liz: "The truth will set you free but first it will piss you off."
The Queen: "It did."
Dolly: "Well ain't Paddy a sight for sore eyes! Is he up to some hillbilly hubba hubba?"
Tilly: "In my breeder's dreams. Perhaps he's been firing blanks. Must say, back in the day I would have ridden him like a pony.....ah." Her voice softens. "Dave's fucked. Annabel and Provider 3 love him."
Yayoi: "You and me, we are dots. Paddy is one big dot and polka dots can't stay alone..."
Tilly: "I know that Yayoi but Dave won't have two dots darling. Probably why Annabel's gone for a dime bar as big as two cats." *sniffles. "It was only a matter of time I know. Provider Three has found my flight to the sky particularly challenging. Talks about me every night."
Dolly: "Well, looks like this is a done deal. Love 1, Dave 0. Shall we celebrate? Liz, pass that liquor of yours!"
Tilly: "He says he's 4 out of 10 excited. Humbling when you realise your greatest work isn't finished."
Gloria: "Breaking men Tilly is never the answer..."
Tilly: "Getting another british shorthair is."

I am delighted to announce that we will be rehoming one year old ex stud Paddy very soon! Another High Brooms boy, he comes from Tilly's amazing breeder and with her blessing ❤️ Thank you to everyone who has put up with my unhinged CAT UPDATES and those who have supported JOWLS all the way. It is a strange, delicate feeling opening our hearts to another; I am equally ecstatic to have him and sad over my girl. As my friend Laura said, the only way to get over a cat is to get under another.

And I cannot wait to get under this 6kg still two years to grow gentle big boy 🇮🇪❤️ #Paddy #Irish #Rehome #Britishblue taken in London, United Kingdom by @maybehood_

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a month ago

Kinda chic of me to pick the WTF trend: donor conception mid 40s edition. As always, trying to share honestly and with integrity. Kinda chic of you to share, follow and comment. Who else relates?

Back to writing, surviving the summer holidays, researching cats, cursing the glitches of instagram and being a woman of mystery 🙄✌🏻

If you (and your partner) are anywhere on my WTF spectrum, please know: you REALLY are not alone ❤️

#authorcommunity #donorconception #midlifemum #summerholidays #parentingafterloss taken in London, United Kingdom by @maybehood_

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2 months ago

We women may all be at max capass with the mental load of parenting, but some thoughts on parenting my early years donor conceived child. Will someone tell my 40 year old self?

Donor conception parents what would you add? Parents to be what do you think?

Share, comment, follow ❤️

(For the record, yes I am still working on two British shorthair cats and the mental load of this alone with a dog lover who keeps looking grumpy, like Tilly, and saying NO would fell a less determined, crazy cat lady) taken in London, United Kingdom by @maybehood_

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4 months ago

Hot in here 🤌🏻

#reintroducemyself #donoregg #perimeno #unexplainedinfertility #motherswhowrite taken in London, United Kingdom by @maybehood_

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4 months ago

It was either a trip down memory lane, or forensically picking apart Reform councillors wanging on about IVF being a lifestyle choice.....

Thank you for all of your gorgeous comments, texts, and voicenotes about Tils. Today my son said, "Tilly's in the sky Mummy but she told me she wants to come home."

Darling, I wish she could.

Tell me about your pets keeping you afloat through Life's Shit?

#catsofınstagram #britishshorthair #unexplainedinfertility #thetilderbeast #ivfsupport taken in London, United Kingdom by @maybehood_

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4 months ago

Tilly: It's time
Provider One: No. We're not ready.
Tilly: Have you looked at the news? Jesus christ, I think I bloody am. *nuzzles Provider One. Provider Two, get a pen. Time to write my oBITCHuary. Less of your Dignicat jokes please Dave.
Provider Two: *blinking rapidly Too soon?
Tilly: (looks sadly at Annabel crying) Yes. Now. Help me onto my blanket.
Provider One: I don't know how we are going to be without you. I don’t understand a home without you in it. I can't.
Tilly: I know darling. But I'm tired. As Mog said, dead tired. You've got Provider Three. We did it. My boy. He doesn't like dogs, loves cats. Apart from taking down Trump, Farage, birth inequity and the patriarchy, my work here is done. *looks up lovingly at Provider Two, who is now crying quietly. Dave, don’t be an idiot when the time comes. You know you're having another british shorthair and I'll do my best to help you pick an icon just like me. A reassuringly expensive icon. Just get the pet insurance this time.
Provider One: *heaving with tears How about first sentence, "She died as she liv-id?"
Tilly: Christ. Hope this book of yours is better than that. Make sure I'm in it. Also, I know you're the only one in your NCT group not to have one, but don't go getting a shit tattoo of me ok? Think before you ink.

P1 and P2 nuzzle closer with Tilly.

Tilly: Over fourteen years together as a family. Marriage, miscarriage, divorce, pandemics, functioning bulimia, breaking Dave, political disintegration, hot vet, Royal Family beef, work, IVF, birth, not sleeping, redundancy, moving house, dodgy hearts, passive aggressive toileting, rehoming myself when he was born, my sustainability policy when it came to greeting cards....we've been through it all. Ah, those vet bills. Dave, I'm sorry I shat in your slipper but also I'd do it all again in a heartbeat. Don't turn down the Scrumbles pet food advertising campaign next time Annabel. I....I love you both.

Continued in comments..... taken in London, United Kingdom by @maybehood_

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5 months ago

Wanted to share this as a story, but after spending much of my twenties silently and less silently judging those in their forties at technology, I have BECOME that person. Please, enjoy this post where I managed to use edits and add a caption.

I spoke at the @paths_to_parenthub virtual summit a couple of weeks ago and learned that across Europe, there are startling inequalities about who can access what donor gametes and identifying information. As someone who has been incredibly fortunate to have a child using our lovely donor's egg, I was shocked and I will admit, upset to learn that for example, Germany and Switzerland prohibit the use of donor eggs and embryos, ban surrogacy, yet allow the use of donor sperm - a brutally patriarchal inequality. Italy has made it legally inaccessible for solo mums by choice and same sex couples to have a family using donor conception, and in Poland it is legally impossible for them, reinforcing heterosexism and marginalising LGBTQ+ individuals. There is much to say about other European countries, the USA and Australia - and other parts of the world I am still researching - but suffice to say: emotionally, socially, culturally, personally, this wildly differing global picture matters.

If you would like to share your story, thoughts and feelings with me from any country abroad, please drop me a comment below / send me a DM. I would love to hear from you. ❤️

PS I will also be at the @thefertilityshow on Saturday 16 May. If there's anything you'd like to ask me please do come up and say hi.

PPS a mini enema does work quite swiftly on a cat. Ask for that puppy pad 😂

#donor #donorconception #donoregg #donorsperm #writingabook taken in London, England by @maybehood_

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5 months ago

I have skin in the donor conception game, as anyone who reads my writing knows. Many people have heard of using a donor egg, sperm or embryo; few actually truly understand its life long, tender, human experience; fewer openly talk about it (thank you to those of you who do). It is in this very personal light that I have read @rebeccacoxon 's extraordinary book, Inconceivable, published today by @big_day_books @4thestatebooks and quite rightly championed by @elizabday (thank you for sending it to me Rebecca ❤️).

My god. THIS is why books are published.

Rebecca discovered later in life that her dad John was not her biological father and her beloved parents had used an anonymous sperm donor after many years of infertility. Seeking to make sense of this and her sudden, painfully imposed lens as a donor conceived adult, she has cast her forensic, documentary maker's eye onto what makes a family; interweaving her own experience of endometriosis, IVF and donating her own eggs with science, IVF's history, religion, shame and morality (both society and personal).

I have read this on trains, in cafés, walking to and from pre school with tears in my eyes. It has hit deep. Even when writing about an incredibly painful split at the point of egg collection (yes you read that right) Rebecca has allowed everyone's perspective room to breathe and be seen, even if the reader may not understand or agree with their actions. It is nuance in its finest form, ultimately written with love. In our current times, in this international hellscape, we need this.

If you are a donor recipient parent, like me, pregnant with, thinking about this path, or wondering how to / whether to be open with your donor conceived child - indeed, if you think that having a child or not is the biggest decision a human can make - I urge you to read this. If there are people in your life who do not understand donor conception - buy this for them. Inconceivable has acknowledged my worries, my wonderings. It has seen my family, my parenting. It has held me.

I am not religious but Sandra's retelling of Footprints will forever have me in a chokehold.

Thank you Rebecca ❤️ happy publication day! taken in London, England by @maybehood_

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