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Annabel Shepherd

@maybehood_

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Planning a family doesn't always go to plan. Exploring emotions of donor conception. No wankifestation™️.
📚 rep @litagentlauren
🐈 @thetilderbeast

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I read the headline news about the northern Cyprus clinic today & my heart sank. It was the top story on BBC News this morning, so many of you will have seen it too, & I imagine it wasn’t an easy to read for you either. I know someone who used this clinic, & looking back through my 2015 emails, I realised I’d been in touch with one of the clinic staff in this story. I had this clinic on our shortlist before we chose a different path & went with a clinic in Prague.

I read my own words from my enquiries back to myself & none of them would have caught what these families are only now uncovering. No-one could have known what questions to ask to prevent this. My questions were practical, asked from a vulnerable, desperate place after so much heartache. So I trusted, as we all do, because that’s what you have no choice but to do in professional environments selling you hope alongside your care.

This is why stories like this cut so deep for this community. When something this ‘extreme’ surfaces, it becomes the sensationalised picture people hold of donor conception, rather than the ordinary reality most families experience. That gap between the sensational & the ordinary is where unnecessary shame gets added.

There’s real tension between profit & ethics in this industry, especially around family limits & donor care. I wish this wasn’t a profit making industry, I really do. But there are also clinics & professionals doing this properly, with integrity, every day. Both are true at once.

So if this has unsettled you, you’re not alone. Ask more questions than I knew to, about family limits, donor screening, & what happens to your information. Clinics, professionals & donor coordinators hold responsibility for donors, recipients & the families they help create. You’re allowed to want hope & demand accountability from those offering it.

@paths_to_parenthub is there to support you too, including a free resource ‘Questions to ask your egg/sperm bank’ - it’s the list I wish I’d had in 2015. We also released Series 4 of our podcast this year, on myths around Cyprus, including the difference between the north & Republic - link in bio.

Love, Becky 💛

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I started going to @thefertilityshow in 2018 when I took along my little voice recorder and interviewed experts for my podcast!

The year after that I was a speaker sharing my story and I’m pretty sure I’ve been on the panels ever since - which is quite a lot of talking 🎤

This year it was great to be invited onto the main stage for the expert session on mental health.

It’s SO great to see coaching included here.

When patients are supported appropriately for who they are as people and all of their physical, mental and spiritual needs are met…we see better resourced, grounded and happier patients. That’s what my work strives to deliver through @fertilityliferaft and has been since 2020! Omg!

I met so many new people as well as lots of old friends - didn’t manage pics with everyone but here’s a few!

I really hope that if you went at the weekend, you were able to take what you needed from it.

Thanks for having me again @thefertilityshow 💫

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Always an honour to attend @thefertilityshow as a guest speaker 🤍

I can never truly explain how it feels to be in a room surrounded by hundreds of people on different fertility journeys, from different backgrounds, but all with something in common, a mutual understanding of something the outside world just doesn’t understand.

Being able to turn my past grief and pain into support for others, helping people feel less alone as they embark on their donor conception journey, is something I find incredibly comforting and take pride in.

Lee also attended with me this year as a guest speaker. He was definitely out of his comfort zone, and I’m not going to lie and say he loved public speaking 😅 but he knows firsthand, as a Black man, how lonely and unseen he felt during this journey. He wanted to show up and represent other Black men who may be feeling the same way. I’ll expand more on this in another post…

I also got to have my yearly catch-up with people who have been part of my life through these little squares for so many years, people who have rooted for us, supported us through the hardest times, and been there when I’ve needed it most. It was also so special finally meeting people I’ve spoken to for years and considered part of my support network, but never had the chance to meet in person before.

Until next year, Fertility Show it was an honour, as always 🤍

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Whether you’re right at the beginning of your donor conception journey, navigating the complexities of treatment, or already parenting your longed-for child, we know one thing to be true: connection changes everything.

We’ve been working behind the scenes on the return of something truly special to help you feel more confident, less alone, and deeply supported.

We are so excited to give you a brief first look at the Donor Conception Virtual Summit, which will be returning for it's third year in April 2026.

To sign up to our waitlist, learn about our panelists and keynote speakers via the link in our BIO 🔗💛

#PathstoParenthub #DonorConceptionVirtualSummit #DonorConception #DonorConceptionAwareness #FertilityTreatment

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This is an event I look forward to every single year 💛

Our Paths to Parenthub Virtual Summit is back on Sunday 26th April to mark International Donor Conception Awareness Day & I’d love for you to join us.

Whether you’re just starting to explore donor conception or further along the path, this afternoon is designed to hold space for all of it. It’s fully online which means you can join from anywhere in the world, from the comfort of your own sofa & with a partner if you have one. If you can’t make it all live, you’ll have 2weeks to watch back after.

Here’s what we’ve got packed into one afternoon:

A recipient parent panel sharing lived experiences across egg, sperm & embryo donation. You’ll also hear from an egg donor & sperm donor with their stories, hopes & perspectives. Plus, what is always the highlight, our donor conceived panel sharing what it means to grow up donor conceived through egg & sperm donation.

On the professional side, we have an incredible session on epigenetics & bonding with two absolute powerhouses - Julianne Boutaleb, Perinatal Psychologist, & Dr Helen O’Neill.

There are breakout sessions to choose from: one for those navigating the solo path to parenthood with Mel Johnson & Natasha Williams, & one for couples, where Julianne will guide you through how to navigate donor conception together at every stage.

We’ll also have a keynote looking ahead to talking about donor conception with your child & wider network, with guidance & support for conversations that can feel daunting.

Plus our virtual resource vault, input from this year’s supporter Avenues &, at the end of the afternoon, an optional connection & drinks session where you can meet others on this path & catch up with Hayley, Eleanor & me 🥂

We have just a handful of early bird tickets left. That means you can access all of the above for just £27 as a Paths to Parenthub member, or £37 as a non-member. Every year the feedback blows us away &, with all of us leading such busy lives, it’s such a unique opportunity to spend an afternoon immersed in these stories, perspectives & conversations.

Follow the link in my bio to grab your early bird ticket before they go 🔗

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Happy Halloween 🎃 👻 it’s been a beautifully wholesome spooktacular October 🍂

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Baby loss is a softer way of saying our babies died 🕊️💔 @maybehood_ *

At the end of Baby Loss Awareness Week, I wanted to share our story, the one that shaped me into who I am today 🤍

Over the years we’ve said goodbye to three babies, each loved beyond words, each loss changing us forever.
Through darkness, therapy, IVF, and heartbreak, we found our miracle boy, Luke 🌈 and now, at 36 weeks pregnant, we’re holding onto hope that this is finally our happy ever after 🙏

Baby loss changes you in ways you can never put into words. You don’t move on, you just move forward surrounded by the shadows of what ifs or who they could have been 🕊️

If you’re in the thick of it right now, please hold onto hope. Better days are coming 🌈🤍

(*Quote from Annabelle @maybehood_ who writes so eloquently about loss, donor conception and tfmr. I couldn’t be prouder to call her a friend and she been the most incredible support to me after meeting on here when we were both in the thick of it)

#babylossawareness #tfmr #pregnancyafterloss #ivfjourney #stillamum #waveoflight #blaw

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We are so grateful for this beautiful and powerful reflection shared by @maybehood_ about our event Donor Conception: Connecting Through Conversation 💬

Hearing stories like this reminds us why it matters so deeply to create spaces where intended parents, recipient parents, and donor conceived people can come together, speak honestly, and feel less alone.

Your words capture the heart of what these conversations are all about. The love, the questions, the courage, and the shared need for understanding. Thank you for being so open in telling your story and for showing how connection really can change everything 🧡

We’re delighted that Donor Conception: Connecting Through Conversation will be back this October and we can’t wait to continue building this community, holding space for voices to be heard, and making sure no one feels they have to navigate this journey alone.

Tickets are now available, head to the link in our bio to learn more 🔗

Photo credit @emotiveeye

#donorconception #donorconceptionawareness #donorconceivedfamily #donoreggs #donorsperm #donoreggivf #donorspermivf #pregnancy #parentingtips #donorparent #soloparenting #soloparenthood #pathstoparenthub #connectingthroughconversation

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✨ Join us for one of my favourite days of the year ✨

One of my favourite days of the year - a unique opportunity to learn, connect, and feel truly supported on your donor conception journey. Here’s what you can expect…

💛 Hear from recipient parents through egg, sperm, embryo, and double donation - including both the genetic and non-genetic parent perspectives.

💛 Gain insights into the experiences of donor-conceived people and the relationships they have with their parents.

💛 Ask your questions to our expert Julianne @parenthoodinmind about the emotions and fears you may be experiencing, including grief and genetic loss.

💛 Learn from child psychologist @dr_avital_pearlman on how to best prepare yourself for talking to your child (and others) about donor conception.

💛 Meet others in a similar position who truly “get it,” and build friendships that last a lifetime.

💛 Connect in-person with me, Hayley @dcp_journey_2_rp, and the wonderful @paths_to_parenthub team.

💛 Be welcomed with compassion and understanding, leaving with more confidence and hope.

👩‍❤️‍👨 Bring your partner (if you have one) and explore this path together. My husband Matt will be sharing his perspective as the genetic parent through donor eggs.

🌟 On the solo path? Mel @the_stork_and_i will be offering guidance, including a dedicated solo breakout session.

📅 Join us on Saturday 11 October in London for this special event.

Early bird tickets (£20 off, plus an extra £10 off for members) are now extended until 7 September!

Spaces are limited, and previous events have sold out - we’d absolutely love to welcome you there. Link in bio 💛

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We’re thrilled to see the excitement building for our upcoming Donor Conception: Connecting Through Conversation event in London 🎟🫶🏼

Due to overwhelming interest, we’re extending our Early Bird Ticket offer so even more of you can secure your place at the discounted rate.

If you’re considering donor conception, currently trying to conceive, or pregnant via donor conception, this is your chance to be part of an event designed to support and empower you on the path to parenthood.

A full day of:

🎤 Inspiring panel discussions and Q&As with recipient parents, donor conceived individuals and donors
👩🏻‍⚕️ Expert-led keynote sessions from Paths to Parenthub professionals and leading researchers
📱 Interactive panels and keynotes with the chance to ask questions anonymously via our app
💬 Plenty of opportunities to connect, network and build lasting friendships

. . and so much more.

Supported by @listerfertilityclinic 💛

Payday is the perfect time to invest in yourself! Secure your space today via our website or simply comment CONNECT below for full details and ticket access.

Photo credit @emotiveeye

#connectingthroughconversation #pathstoparenthub #donorconception #donorconceptionawareness #donorconceivedfamily #donoreggs #donorsperm #donoreggivf #donorspermivf #pregnancy #parentingtips #donorparent

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Why are you so passionate about supporting people considering donor conception?

I'm a perinatal psychologist, couples therapist and parent-infant therapist. Supporting families is my passion. And families that have had to take a less travelled path to find each other often need more support. But the support isn't often tailored or attuned enough. And that's where I decided many years ago I want to be offering support.

But it's also about taboo busting. Reproductive equality. Giving families the potential to have a child without a life limiting disease. Allowing individuals create a family. Having a child after cancer or reproductive injury. Becoming parents via donor conception is much more complex than most people realise.

And parents often face social stigma or a lack of understanding about their decisions. And they have often experienced loss and trauma along the way to becoming parents. The loss of the dream they have had since childhood about being a parent and what that would look like for them.

And as we know supporting these families-to-be across the transition to parenthood - even from contemplating donor conception - means better outcomes for them and their children.

As Professor Sue Golombok, who researches DC families underlines "Its not about genetic origins, but about the quality of family relationships."

And one of the most important qualities of a parent-child relationship is honesty. This is why this year will be so vital for Donor Conceived people. To be able to get more information on their conception. And on their donor. Some may decide they don't need it. Or want it. Some will already have the information they need.

I know for some of you this information might feel triggering or heavy. But I also know that you want to get things right for your beloved children. And more honesty and transparency must surely be the way ahead.

And you know if you need support, we at Parenthood In Mind are here to help.

#donorconception #donor #samesexparents #soloparents

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This essay reflects the community and connection we all need right now (especially us U.S. folk.) Thank you @maybehood_xx

Head to the link in bio to read The Garden

lettering: @annerobincallig

#community

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