3 months ago
Co Creator: 
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Posted On: July 3rd 2026, 04:54 pm
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Welcome back to your Weekly Rock Rating 🎶🪨
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Are you tired of having insignificant doorknobs? Have you ever invited a gaggle of guests over to your place only to be hit with a fusillade of biting criticism? i.e, "Wow, Tammy, your doorknob is more basic than drain cleaner! Suddenly, I don’t want to play Cards Against Humanity and gorge myself on Chex Mix with you.” Introducing the new top-of-the-line product: Rock! Once you’ve got this game-changer installed, you’ll need to stock the shelves with as much Chex Mix as it can physically hold, because you’ll have guests coming over throughout all hours of the day, almost always unprompted. Even strangers you’ve never met will be flocking onto your private property just to wrap their fingers around your alluring knob. Already have a rock for a doorknob? A-okay! You can slap this product on anything: Give your shower handle a metamorphic tang or make the safe holding all of your valuables impossible to unlock! Call 1-800-8888 right now - if no one picks up, you’ll have to send an email to [email protected]. I don’t make the rules. We’re all trying our best out here. We’re under staffed. I don’t want to hear it. In the time it takes you to be grumpy and complain, you could’ve sent the email. Take a hike, Winston - and you’ll receive not three, not four, but TWO rocks for the price of two!WOWOWOWOW! Oh waiter, I’ll have what they’re having! So pour yourself a bowl of Chex Mix and start making your home rock hard. This get’s an 11/10! HAHA! © 2026 General Mills, Rock is a registered and subordinate trademark under the Igneous Acquisition Act of 2024.
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Rock pic submitted by @bampothouse 📸
#OogaChaka #Puckers #Parlous #TorontoIndieTheatre #FringeTO
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Are you tired of having insignificant doorknobs? Have you ever invited a gaggle of guests over to your place only to be hit with a fusillade of biting criticism? i.e, "Wow, Tammy, your doorknob is more basic than drain cleaner! Suddenly, I don’t want to play Cards Against Humanity and gorge myself on Chex Mix with you.” Introducing the new top-of-the-line product: Rock! Once you’ve got this game-changer installed, you’ll need to stock the shelves with as much Chex Mix as it can physically hold, because you’ll have guests coming over throughout all hours of the day, almost always unprompted. Even strangers you’ve never met will be flocking onto your private property just to wrap their fingers around your alluring knob. Already have a rock for a doorknob? A-okay! You can slap this product on anything: Give your shower handle a metamorphic tang or make the safe holding all of your valuables impossible to unlock! Call 1-800-8888 right now - if no one picks up, you’ll have to send an email to [email protected]. I don’t make the rules. We’re all trying our best out here. We’re under staffed. I don’t want to hear it. In the time it takes you to be grumpy and complain, you could’ve sent the email. Take a hike, Winston - and you’ll receive not three, not four, but TWO rocks for the price of two!WOWOWOWOW! Oh waiter, I’ll have what they’re having! So pour yourself a bowl of Chex Mix and start making your home rock hard. This get’s an 11/10! HAHA! © 2026 General Mills, Rock is a registered and subordinate trademark under the Igneous Acquisition Act of 2024.
🪨
Rock pic submitted by @bampothouse 📸
#OogaChaka #Puckers #Parlous #TorontoIndieTheatre #FringeTO
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